AIBU to be upset that my ex blocks calls about the children?

[Noodledoodal]

Ex keeps blocking my number for no reason. I genuinely only call him for important updates regarding the children but he says I should only call him if it’s an absolute emergency (informing him that child A is off school and will not be there when he collects them) obviously isn’t an emergency to him. I’m wondering if his girlfriend has some sort of issue with it as I am scratching my head with the whole thing.

I think you’re unreasonable to be upset because it sounds like he wants a reaction.

Inform him that from now on you will send one text with whatever information he needs (like a child he was going to pick up being off school) and if he has you blocked and doesn’t receive it, that’s on him, you won’t be following up or finding ways to contact him to make sure he gets the message. If he wants to block you and then turn up at school to pick up a child who isn’t there, he can carry on.

If it was the other way around and you didn't want him to text you what would you say ? Can school inform him as pick up person that day . Kids old enough to text directly?

Use email. Email him only within normal working hours. If it's urgent re logistics, then text.

it seems unnecessary to call if you can text. A man would be told the same thing.
He’s clearly told you this before so it’s not exactly a one off issue.

Stop calling him. Send a message with the info, you’ll know he has seen it when ticks go blue. It’s clear that you don’t have a good relationship so stop calling him. There is no need. A call is for things like your kid is in the hospital, not for a quick update. Send a message.

Just don't call him, use a parenting app

Why do you feel the need to speak to him? Surely that’s exactly the type of info that texting was designed for!

parenting app. Text or email

Why do you need to call? Email, text, WhatsApp, parenting apps... loads of ways to get him a message without having to speak to him. He obviously doesn't want to talk to you or listen to you.

I wouldn't speculate about his girlfriend. He's a grown man and doesn't want to speak to you.

Text/email don't call. Or get a parenting app.

Text and don’t expect a reply. There’s no need for a phone call and if he has a question then he can text back.

If child is old enough text from their phone because that’s presumably not blocked.

It doesn’t matter why he doesn’t want calls from you. It could be because of the the gf but it could be because you had a nasty breakup/relationship and he doesn’t want to hear your voice. Texting provides proof that you sent relevant information.

I think you have very different ideas of what is an Emergency. Send a whatsapp if say child is not going to be in School. It may not be the girlfriend but could be also an issue at work.

Just text him. If he doesn’t get it, that’s his problem and he will only inconvenience himself.

Or just take him at his request and don’t tell him. He will soon change his tune the second or third time his child isn’t where they were supposed to be when he arrives to get them and he’s asked not to be told that information as it’s not an emergency!

@Noodledoodal YABU. He is your ex and doesn't want to have to speak to you on the phone, which is often very normal with an ex.

He is absolutely correct - you phone him in an emergency.

There is no need to phone him regarding updates. A WhatsApp message or email is perfectly acceptable and what most people do.

How is she supposed to message him if he blocks her number? Honestly, schools have better things to do than act as a go-between. He needs to stop being such a dick.

He has asked her not to call him unless it’s an emergency but he is the dick?

The Op is in the wrong, not her ex

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn after the separation was the person I use to share all the updates on the kids with, no longer wants that (and in my case would rather not know anything about them that speak to me, but that’s a different issue!)

Honestly reduce your communication down to short, informational updates. Is it something he must do something about immediately? Phone. Is it something he should do something about in the future/next time he sees the kids? Text. Is it just something you think he’d have previously found cute/important/interesting? Sadly but honestly he doesn’t want to hear from you.

He's clearly blocked her because she's crossing his boundaries.

"Don't call me unless emergency" and OP continues to call him with a non-emergency matter.

Also you can just block calls but still receive messages.

Use a parenting app, and stop calling him. He has a right to not have you call him whenever you want. He might find it triggering. I would hate it if my ex called except in an emergency.

Get one of the court approved apps and use that to communicate to him the essentials about your kids only.

It doesn't matter why or who. He's told you he wants no contact with except in emergencies about the children. He goes to school and kid stayed home, tough.

Yes, you're being unreasonable to be upset about it.

Why are you calling him? Most people in your/his shoes would prefer not to actually speak to their ex. Email / WhatsApp / a parenting app so much more appropriate unless a genuine emergency.

As others have said, send messages- email/text/WhatsApp. I haven’t answered the phone to my ex in nearly 10 years. I intend to keep it that way. I just don’t want to hear his voice unless I have to, like in person. Anyway, I prefer a paper trail for all of our communication so he can’t gaslight me
ever again. My current husband has no opinions on this btw, other than to support me in what I want to do about it.