AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?

[catsoutthehouse]

We have a lovely cat and love him so much. He's one year old. He's a big mouser and goes out overnight, returning like clockwork at around 7.30am. He has not been home yet, so is now 3.5 hours late. I worry so much that something has happened to him! I've been out shaking a bag of his favourite treats, he is nowhere near. AIBU to think I'm too nervous to have a cat??

Im really surprised at how many cat owners don’t let their cat out at night or at all! Cats love going out at night, that’s what they do. They are hunting creatures and night time is peak time.

Cat’s would have to kill and eat 20 rats/ large rodents a day to survive. They actually eat very little of their prey. It’s ludicrous to say a cat wouldn’t come home for food.

They probably do love it - and if you accept they’ll only have a life expectancy of around 5 years then I guess that’s fine.

What’s not fine is that the op’s cat is unable to get back in overnight. It’s literally locked out.

I’m so glad he’s home!

OP, just so you know, you can get cat flaps that block entry if the cat is carrying prey in its mouth. They’re not cheap, but I’ve heard they’re bloody brilliant.

My lovely boy cat was missing for 7 days over the heat wave….i was so worried but he came sauntering back to me with a ‘what’s with all the fuss’ attitude ate his food and was straight back out again 🙄

No, you are not being anxious! Ive fostered over 100 cats and currently have three of my own. I dont let mine out unless im in and then they are only allowed out during the day. This is due to them destroying wildlife (birds and mice for fun) and because they have been involved in RTA's. All my foster cats weren't allowed out at all and they coped well.
Have you got the funds for a catio? This is what I would do if I could afford it.

Yes.
He was abandoned by them as a kitten. They live a road away from me. I found out because I saw him sitting in their garden, so asked the guy in the garden if he was their cat. He said that a female cat had had a litter in their garden, unbeknown to them, she was a feral stray, he took her to the RSPCA for treatment and advice, then adopted her and had her spayed. He said they couldn’t afford or want her litter, the RSPCA took the litter, except for Toby, who decided to adopt us before the RSPCA had space for his siblings. It’s all perfectly amicable, he lives between two houses, he pops and sees his mum, and I don’t begrudge him a bowl of food and a blanket in the greenhouse.

It's not remotely ludicrous - mine often don't bother coming home for food and they're hardly an anomaly.

I have pedigrees with a cat flap so they’ve always been able to go out at night. That’s when they are most active. I’ve always let my cats out at night and it hasn’t shortened any of their lives. My last birman died at 19 and the one before at 15. They are so happy outside at night that I have no desire to spoil their joy. Though they do always appear for breakfast!

Amazing ! What a great thing to have.

So don’t let him out. You can provide indoor enrichment and stimulation for cats, build a catio run for him, or teach him to walk on a harness & lead. You say he’s ’a big mouser’ but you actually have no idea what wildlife he’s catching, domestic cats cause enormous damage to small wildlife populations, and it’s time we acknowledged this and stopped letting them out to go on killing sprees.

Just continue to let him out. The stress of being kept in will greatly affect him. I would fit a cat flap. I spoke to my vet as I was fed up of being told by so called armchair experts I was a bad owner letting him out at night. She said it was more cruel for him to be forced to stay in and she lets her cat just come and go. In her words quality of life is more important than quantity. By that she means yes it’s more risky for cats to outdoors anytime but they’ll be happier.

Having a cat on a lead and restricting their movements like this is very unnatural. But you do you!

This is great advice, thank you!

Keeping cats indoors is the equivalent of locking a bird in a cage and never letting it out to fly. It's cruel and makes many cats severely stressed.

Beautiful! Your cats are lucky to have you. They're just so great aren't they❤️

Get him a Tractive collar so you can track him via GPS, glad he’s home, I would be the same x

You’re right, It’s totally unnatural to restrict movements, in fact it’s very stressful for the cat as cats like to be in control of their movements and environment. Much better to be out and about being a cat.

The idea that indoor cats live longer doesn’t apply to the uk where cats don’t have predators. It is a very prominent in the us where there are coyotes etc, and in countries such as NZ where cats are not native.

https://www.cats.org.uk/cats-blog/how-long-do-pet-cats-live

“Currently there is limited evidence to suggest that cats with an indoor or outdoor lifestyle have a longer lifespan.”

Although I agree that it suggests keeping cats indoors at night is sensible.

A cat flap is the way to go, my cat goes out in the evening, pops back between midnight and 5am ish and then goes out again.

I think cats need and enjoy their freedom.

100% agree, they need their freedom,they're not dogs!

Yes, I'll look into a cat flap asap xx

One more question dear people....I've asked our local cat flap installer and it'd be £ 450!!! I can't really spend that money - is there an alternative? I thought it would cost half of that!

I worry about my cat too but I wonder if your cat is out all night because he has no choice because you have no cat flap? you can have a setting on a Cat flap so that it works two ways (in and out) but also one way so that once they come back in, it locks and they can’t go back out. That could be an option if your cat is still out and about when you go to bed as you know if they come home they will be in and not let back out again

my cat will go out at about 5/6am when I open the cat flap (I often go straight back to bed once I open it as she wakes me up and I’m fine with that as I fall back asleep early). If I don’t get up and let her out she will just wait until 7/8am when I’m up for work.

she will potter for a couple of hours when it’s nice or for shorter time when it’s not. Sleeps all day until about 6pm.

then potters in and out from 6pm until about 10pm. Then she is brought in and the cat flap is locked

that works for us. I wouldn’t sleep at night knowing she was out and about as there are other cats about and they all hate each other from what I can gather

Dear god ... does that involve supplying and cutting a new door panel, glass or whatever? It surely can't just be for fitting the flap in something already there?

If it is, simply get a local handyman in; I've just had to replace mine and it was £50 including the flap itself

Yes, because it’s completely natural for dogs to be walked on a lead….

Seriously, this ‘cats need to roam free, it’s in their nature’ is a bogus argument. Dogs naturally roam free, but we don’t let them, for their own safety and the safety of other animals. It’s time we made cat owners take the same responsibility for their pets.