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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to go to the US with one daughter to visit my sister?

1 reply

wingingit1987 · 30/06/2026 00:03

My sister lives in the US. We haven’t seen her for 3 years and have never met her wife. My mum has booked to visit her and is taking one of my daughters, who my sister is very close to. My daughter still speaks to her most days on FaceTime and is thrilled. My sister and her partner have offered to pay for me to also go.
My daughter is high functioning autistic and will likely find the travel to and from their destination stressful. There are no direct flights and my sister lives about 3-4 hours from the airport. They have a hotel booked near the airport to help break up her travel day. She also has multiple food allergies and my sister and mum both feel it would make sense for me to be there to help navigate this.

I feel guilty as we have 5 other children. My reasons for us not all going are
*my sister wouldn’t have the room for us all as she has a 2 bedroom house. There are also little in the way of hotels nearby as she lives in a fairly small town location. I don’t drive and my husband doesn’t feel confident driving over there.
*our younger two will be 1.5 years old and 3 when I go. I really don’t think they would handle the long journey.
*I can’t really afford for us all to go. My sister and mum are paying for this trip which is allowing me and my daughter the opportunity. We have two expensive trips already booked as a family for next year as both my husband and I have milestone birthdays next year. We also have trips booked for the other kids as individuals already e.g taking one daughter away for a few nights for a concert, taking oldest away on a trip for a few nights for a place relating to one of his hobbies etc. we do a lot of one on one activities and trips but I think this feels a bit different as it’s further afield and to see family.
*the older kids have been encouraging about me going with my daughter and the younger her ones don’t really understand what’s happening.

i would love the chance to visit my sister and it would be lovely to have that time with my daughter but i can’t help but feel guilty. Should I add on?

OP posts:
Floppyearedlab · 30/06/2026 00:06

Definitely go and enjoy it
You would totally change the dynamics by taking everyone. And not necessarily in a good way.

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