Should I dump my boyfriend because he won't stop eating crisps?

[Spicyseniorita7]

I'm in a relatively new relationship (7 months) after over 2 years of being single with some dating disasters along the way. Everything seems great on paper, he is kind, has a good job that pays well, not bad looking, treats me well and never allows me to pay for anything. For context, I am 28F and he is 32M- we both live separately at present. I would like to settle down soon.

I'm unsure if I am self-sabotaging, but some of his eating/snacking habits disgust me, to the point that I think I've developed the ick. This came to light properly on our recent 2 week holiday-prior to this, the longest we had spent together was about 3 days. He eats at least 3 packets of crisps per day and not the sophisticated type i.e kettle chips, think more Skips/monster munch/Nik naks/cheesy wotsits/space raiders. He doesn't wash his hands after eating the crisps and requires prompting to do so. This often results in him having disgusting synthetic crisp dust all over his fingers and fingernails.

Even more disgustingly, after he's finished with a packet, he arches back his head and empties the remnants of the crisp crumbs into his mouth. It's almost as though he cannot bear for a single scrap to be wasted. But the most disgusting is sometimes, after finishing a packet, he will blow up the packet like a balloon and pop it. This has resulted in me being sprayed with crumbs. I've also found scrunched up crisp packets wedged behind his bed, almost as though he can't be bothered to walk to the bin.

We recently went on holiday to Spain and it was mortifying-he didn't try any local food and just wanted to eat British food, McDonald's and crisps. We went to the supermarket and he loaded up the trolley with crisps. I haven't said anything yet, he is keen to start looking for a flat to rent together, but I just can't help but thinking I would prefer a man who doesn't eat over 3 packets of crisps a day and doesn't smell like pickled onion Monster Munch or cheesy wotsits. Is eating all of those crisps a dumpable offence?

I wouldn’t give a shit if someone ate a few packets of crisps.

I couldn’t live with someone who went abroad and didn’t want to eat any local food though. I can’t stand unadventurous eaters; it drives me mad.

Am I your boyfriend? I too eschew fancy crisps for delicious plebeian crisps. I don't explode empty crips bags though, but may have to explore introducing that to my repertoire.

Yes I would say so, his attitude to food isn't great. If eating well, healthy food, cooking etc are important to you I would end it. Unless you have really strong feelings for him. Sounds like you have the ick.

@Spicyseniorita7 I mean i love crisps. However your description of the dirty fingers and nails and someone who can’t wash or be bothered to put the packets in the bin . Nope .
It does seem his pallet has never quite got to adult stage . I’m not sure trying to have adult relationship with him will work .

I love a crisp myself, but Jesus. That sounds horrific, especially the inflating/bursting the empty bags and showering you in ultra-ultra processed crap. But add in the refusal to eat Spanish food in Spain and you have yourself the opposite of a keeper, I would assert.

think more Skips/monster munch/Nik naks/cheesy wotsits/space raiders

None of these are crisps, so yes, YABVU indeed.

Dump him.

he can do better than a crisp snob.

You feel the way you feel and that’s perfectly fine, and that is enough of a reason to end the relationship. FWIW I would feel the same way about the poor personal hygiene and the refusal to try new food when travelling, which I’d find unbelievably tedious and really limiting in a long term relationship where I’d want to have new experiences together. I’d also be worried that someone who ate three packets of crisps a day was going to drop dead on me in his 40s with clogged arteries!

BUT - if you really like him otherwise, it might be worth one honest conversation about how off putting you find his manners and hygiene around eating crisps and his refusal to properly engage with the holiday by trying local food. He has probably been eating like this since he was a teenager or a uni student in their first flat share and it’s never occurred to him how off putting it is to other people.

Hmmm. Does he like pre-prepared frozen gyoza?

on this one id say depends on how he is personality wise overall how he treats you etc ?

I couldn't be with someone who didn't eat Torres

I would leave him for the bit about not allowing you to pay for anything; that could easily spiral into economic abuse/coercive control if it isn't already.

three packs of Torres a day in this economy? He'd need to have Bezosian levels of wealth.

Are they considered Spanish food?

I'm not going to lie, the crisp snobbery made me laugh, like Kettle chips are any less crap for you than a pack of skips or monster munch.

But if something this minor is giving you the ick, then you're obviously not that into him.

DP has a good few gross habits, pretty much every human being does. They don't bother me much because I love her.

I think gyozas in any form would be far too exotic for him! I doubt he knows what they are!

He's eating the snacks of my dreams!

That said, I can happily scoff bags of pickled onion or roast beef Monster Munch because I'm not going to be breathing on anybody any time soon. Or kissing them.

I would find that a bit off putting.

The tip head back thing made me chuckle, my brother did this growing up and we realised the dog saw this as a sign for - all gone. So we'd open crisps and do the action. Fooled every time.

It would also put me off being abroad and not considering the local food.

Agree. Its awful anyone things that is a positive trait

You despise him so why stay with him? Does he only eat boiled vegetables, by any chance?

To me, one of the points of going abroad is sampling a different culture. 'Traditional roasts' and 'fish and chips' in Spain seem mad to me. Go to Skeggy for that.

I misvoted. While the packets shoved down the side of the bed seems not ideal, I wouldn't get the 'ick' from someone eating 'unsophisticated' crisps. I also dislike kettle crisps and always tip the packet up! I do, however, make sure the packet goes in the bin and hands are washed...

Wouldn’t care about the crisps, but not binning packets would set off alarm bells for me about ‘is he a grown adult who can fend for himself or is he used to a woman doing everything for him and you’re going to become a replacement Mum figure @Spicyseniorita7

Is he 12?

To be honest I like a cheap rubbishy bag of crisps myself, I tip the crumbs into my mouth, however I would wash my hands if crisp dust was on them, and I certainly would not ever pop the bag, as I asked, is he 12???

Don't break up, just ask him to stop.

Thst would set my misophonia off like a grenade.
I am partial to a packet of crack cheetos myself but you will never find a crumb of it anywhere or on me.
I think your only option is to LTB.

@Spicyseniorita7 my friends DH is like this but worse, he eats a 6 pack of walkers prawn cocktail crisps every single day! On Sunday’s he goes the extra mile and has an extra large bag of original hula hoops which can only be eaten by sucking them off his pinky finger and no other way! He does wash his hands though! He’s 52 and has always been like this, eats healthily the rest of the time, not overweight and bizarrely has low cholesterol and BP! My friend thinks it’s funny as she has a thing about chunky Kit Kats and eats them in a particular way! On Christmas Day she always wraps up a ‘special’ bag of crisps for her DH and he has to guess what they are, it’s actually his favourite present every year! No special needs or anything, good jobs, adult children but they’re both like big kids who’ve never grown up!