Children being rude to an elderly person

[ITMA2000]

I was in the park today, watching my granddaughter riding her bike and walked around the path and ended up close to an SUV. There were four children inside (about 10 yrs old) and they started saying 'old woman, old woman' and laughing. After a few minutes I went up to the car and said 'You are being rude , I will tell your mum when she comes back'. Mum arrived, said 'What the fuck are you doing near my car?' I said they were rude, she said they are just kids, I told her what they were saying, mum said she would knock me out if I didn't fuck off. I said they were all scum. Fortunately it didn't escalate. My friend has said I should have ignored the kids- should I have? Or was I right to tell them they were rude?

Yes. Ignore.

Honestly I dispair of some parents.

And then they wonder why they grow up the way they do. This is how entitlement starts when they aren't educated on manners or not being rude.

Well, given the way the mother spoke to you, it's not hard to see where the children get it from nor guess how they will likely turn out.

mum said she would knock me out if I didn't fuck off. I said they were all scum. Wow, you both need to calm down!

A threat of violence is not acceptable, but you then responded in a way that potentially escalated things.

You have probably done more to help parent those children, as in make them decent, kind members of society, than the mum has done all their lives. If someone like that gets aggressive, contact the police, because two of the parents round here who were like that turned out to be abusing the kids.

Of course you should have ignored them.

How did you know they were with their mum?

You were right to tell the kids they were rude. They’re not going to learn from their lowlife of a mother so who else is going to teach them.

You were also right when you called the mother scum. Unfortunately it won’t make a blind bit of difference to their behaviour going forward, I imagine they can’t see the fault in their actions. Can’t reason with stupid I guess.

I didn't mean scum in the sense that they were working class (I am myself), I meant they didn't address people in a pleasant way. Personally, I always think asking 'Can I help you' is a better way to start, rather that 'What the fuck are you doing?' And I hope I have taught my children this.

They were kids in a car. I knew mum would turn up. I was going nowhere as I was watching my granddaughter. I got tired being told I was old (I am, I am 70) and I have seen more of life's struggles to be amused by rude kids.

I know the right answer is to ignore.
But it is very difficult in practice.

I'm older than you OP. I get a lot of rudeness, and worse, from the local children. They despise elderly women- i know of other older women in the area who also have had problems with them.

And I know that there is no point in engaging with the children because they are looking for a reaction and remomstrating in any way makes them worse. But sometimes it is very hard to hold one's tongue.

I would have ignored them. Yes they were rude but with a mother like that, it's not surprising is it! If they had decent parents they wouldn't have behaved like that 🤷‍♀️

Really? Have your kids never said something daft in public?

A man had a go at me recently for telling his kids not to queue jump. "Are you telling my kids off?!" Well, someone has to......

YANBU

Wish I had called them scum now!

“they started saying 'old woman, old woman' and laughing.”

And instead of saying, “Yup, and the thing is, one day you’ll be old too”, you went and had a go at them, their DM didn’t back you up and after she had sworn, you called them “scum”. I’m left wondering where the adults are here. It all sounds utterly unedifying, OP, and I’m sorry, but had you ignored the mother, you would at least have kept your dignity. In calling them “scum” you lost any shred of moral high ground.

And yet you escalated this and used the term 'scum'? Not sure you've modelled what you think you have for your own children.

The big car is the modern day fur coat and no knickers ime.

If this is real, obviously the parent was OTT and rude, but you haven’t exactly modelled good behaviour to your granddaughter today.

Why were you by the car for so long to really know who their silliness was directed at anyway? Just move away from the car and carry on with your day with your GC.

You are right. I over-reacted. I just thought mum would be kinder than her children. She backed them up. It's all forgotten now.