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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU feeling weirded out being called a "good girl"?

22 replies

ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:18

I went in for a cystoscopy today. It's where they put a camera into your urethra to take a look at the tract and bladder.

It was a little painful for me. I winced a bit. No yelling though.

When the urologist passed the last difficult bit for me, I gritted my teeth a bit and tried not to make a fuss. Then he said:

"There you go! Good girl."

I'm a 39 year old woman. I was weirded out, but almost laughed because it's been a good quarter of a century since I last heard that.

AIBU for thinking that it was a bit odd?

OP posts:
DeftGoldHedgehog · 29/06/2026 20:22

Ugh. YANBU. Sounds like he ought to be a vet instead.

ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:22

DeftGoldHedgehog · 29/06/2026 20:22

Ugh. YANBU. Sounds like he ought to be a vet instead.

Maybe I should've shaved!

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 29/06/2026 20:25

Ugh, that would make me cringe too.
I was called a good girl too when I was on a healthcare course placement. The man who said it was 10 years younger than me.
I also had a manager call me "child" instead of my name. I was mid 30s.

ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:27

XenoBitch · 29/06/2026 20:25

Ugh, that would make me cringe too.
I was called a good girl too when I was on a healthcare course placement. The man who said it was 10 years younger than me.
I also had a manager call me "child" instead of my name. I was mid 30s.

It's a bit of a funny one, isn't it?

"Atta girl" isn't too bad.

But "Good girl" is a bit too far gone!

It also makes me wonder if every woman is "girl", or if that's just a privilege for those who look a bit younger.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 29/06/2026 20:31

ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:27

It's a bit of a funny one, isn't it?

"Atta girl" isn't too bad.

But "Good girl" is a bit too far gone!

It also makes me wonder if every woman is "girl", or if that's just a privilege for those who look a bit younger.

'Good Girl' is a brand of cat treats. Or what you say to a pet.
I could not imagine saying it to a human regardless of their age. Well, maybe a child. An actual girl.

laurini · 29/06/2026 20:32

Ugh, a random woman said this to me yesterday when I went to pick up something she'd dropped!!! Wtaf

PrincessHedgehog · 29/06/2026 20:33

It’s got some bdsm vibes i wouldn’t appreciate in that context at all.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 29/06/2026 20:36

OP I have had many many dealings with urologists and have only met one who was not a deeply sociall awkward sexist wotsit. Next time smile nicely and say "well done! You DID do a good job, didn't you?"

whippersnapper55 · 29/06/2026 20:36

Ohh that would annoy me too! I think I'd probably have said 'woman, not girl'! My dentist once patted me on the shoulder and said 'you're a very brave girl' after removing all 4 of my wisdom teeth under local anaesthetic (I was too much of a scaredy cat to have a general!) but I was about 22 then so I didn't mind 😂

Chipshopsiblingwar · 29/06/2026 20:38

A delivery driver told me to be a good girl when he left once that was bad enough

ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:39

whippersnapper55 · 29/06/2026 20:36

Ohh that would annoy me too! I think I'd probably have said 'woman, not girl'! My dentist once patted me on the shoulder and said 'you're a very brave girl' after removing all 4 of my wisdom teeth under local anaesthetic (I was too much of a scaredy cat to have a general!) but I was about 22 then so I didn't mind 😂

It was pretty normal for my friends and I to call themselves girls up into their mid 20s. But as we kept getting older, I think reality caught up with us.😂

So at 22, I think I'd have felt similarly! Though maybe a bit confused in a professional context.

OP posts:
ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:41

Chipshopsiblingwar · 29/06/2026 20:38

A delivery driver told me to be a good girl when he left once that was bad enough

What is the context here?

This seems unhinged!

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 29/06/2026 20:45

You will find that the telltale sign of getting old is when people start calling you “young lady”.

Chipshopsiblingwar · 29/06/2026 21:00

ByTheRiverside · 29/06/2026 20:41

What is the context here?

This seems unhinged!

He picked up the trays and said you be a good girl now then left.

Silverbirchleaf · 29/06/2026 21:05

Someone called me ‘good girl’ and I found it patronising. I’m not bothered by men (or women) saying‘ok luv, duckies, etc’ but.‘Good girl’ bothered me.

CuppaTandBicky · 29/06/2026 23:05

I've said this accidentally to a fully grown adult before when my kids were small and my brain struggled to fully switch over from mum mode.

Probably not that in this case. Bit weird..

Pistachiocake · 29/06/2026 23:11

Since the perfume came out I've heard it a lot more, in all kinds of contexts. The "good boy" one was apparently a weird thing kids used last year.
Not what I'd have expected at a hospital personally.

Tonissister · 29/06/2026 23:15

'And you're a very good boy for helping make me better. Well done.'

Maybe he'd get the message.

1989STAR · 29/06/2026 23:26

My boss in his 70s says it to me a lot (36 but look late 20s) .... I'm not a massive fan but in general he means no harm he's just a bit old school is how I would describe not creepy vibes.

TheThirteenthFairy · 30/06/2026 07:45

HoppityBun · 29/06/2026 20:45

You will find that the telltale sign of getting old is when people start calling you “young lady”.

Yes! So true.

Corryvreckan · 30/06/2026 08:11

I fucking hate medics doing this.
Needs reporting so that some other poor woman isn’t spoken to in this demeaning way.
I am a retired nurse by the way.

ArabellaWeird · 30/06/2026 08:16

This is really weird, you're not wrong.

It's completely inappropriate to tell a woman of 39 she's a good girl while her legs are in stirrups and you're sticking a tube up her urethra.

In a similar way that telling a man of 39 that he's a good boy while performing a prostate exam on him would also be wildly inappropriate.

I'd ask someone to tell him to pack it in, and why. Weirdo.

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