To think these men are the real gold diggers?

[Wehaveallthetimeintheworld]

Memes/posts about this on Ig

Saying that nowadays the real gold diggers are men that expect women to do the majority of childcare/household things, plus expecting them to work and bring in a good wage. I’m seeing more and more of this with friends

Where have all the men gone and are these the equivalent of modern day gold diggers

No comments, only votes?

I think people are a bit confused at women's labour being utilised by men for their own gains, being a new concept! It's not new, capitalism literally depended on women holding up the home. Albeit the expectations have now increased for women.

Agree. There need to be a new name for them though. Will have a think!

Labour diggers is the term I've heard

It's a regular theme on MN where women are the main breadwinner whilst carrying the full mental load, childcare drops and collections, house work, vooking and laundry.

Total workhorses.
Paying and doing it all.
Total madness.

Cocklodgers. Lazy fuckers. They have always existed, it's not new.

Yanbu i commented on a post the other day saying that it used to be a matter of principle that a man would be a provider and got told i must be about 100 years old.

Posted on wrong thread

YANBU but for some reason people are happy enough to allow themselves to be taken advantage of.

So the gold diggers must be bringing something to the relationship.

Wrong thread @Boreded

Ah, just seen that you’ve already noticed!

Yeah my phone was playing games with me. Thanks for the spot though

Yep, hobosexuals aren't a new thing either - men who prey on women especially single parents who are housed. They go from parents to new partner then back to their parents even sometimes jail , then off to find a new situationship to start the whole process again.

I've posted on here before about it, but what you are describing is a generational delay between the changing of male+female roles.

Women (and some men) campaigned for a change of female societal roles, so that women had equal standing to men in professional/career terms. It took a century, but it has now (in my opinion) been achieved. Women under 35 now earn more than men on average, and the remaining inequality tends to fall in biological areas that are challenging to solve e.g. childbirth.

There is still inequality in the higher levels of employment, mangers, CEOs, bosses etc. But that is largely due to how long these changes take to filter through. Most senior positions today are held by people in their 50s-60s, who spent the majority of their career in a society that was still skewed heavily towards men. It will take time for these changes to filter upwards, and for the girls born today in a more equal world to climb and reach those levels.

So, you have women actively pushing for equality in the workplace...

Yet over those hundred years are men pushing for equality in the home?

Not really.. they didn't want it at all. It was an easy sell to give men "accept equality/female rights, and your wives will now go and earn money!!!" that worked for a lot of middle class men. But they never wanted equality in the other direction.

So instead they (as a generalized group) have gradually increased how much they do at home to slightly compensate for the increased income that women provide. But up until the last 10-15 years, the vast majority of them have still out-earned their wives, so they can still say "well I earn more".

Now though we have hit the point where a substantial amount of women are out-earning men, it is becoming a problem. As is so observable on here. It is so plainly unfair to women and to any rational outsider looking at a relationship.

But people's habits are very hard to change. And to defend men, it really isn't easy to alter how you view the world, yourself, and your role in your family. Most of the women today grew up watching their mums work and do housework, and being told to be independent and do both. Most of the men today, didn't. They grew up watching their fathers work and do nothing else, and with the idea that as long as they earn, and do a bit of "help" with the kids/house, = equals = they are good dads and husbands.

Changing those fundamental ideas are hard.

So in my opinion there is going to be a generational delay. A middle generation of "useless" husbands who earn less and do less and ruin their marriages.

However, I do believe that the next generation of men, who grow up in a world where women earn as much or more at times, will be forced to alter their view of what a man/dad/husband is - and we will eventually see a balancing of roles. It will just take a generation for it to happen.

So women just sit back and let the men do all the thinking for them? they don't know how to use their own voice?

Very insightful

Yes agree

But people's habits are very hard to change. And to defend men, it really isn't easy to alter how you view the world, yourself, and your role in your family.

Now there’s a new excuse. Don’t even try viewing women as human beings, men you poor dears.’. We know your puny little brains and total lack of empathy just can’t handle the idea that the mum who brought you into the world and your sisters are actually humans who will hurt and bleed if you cut them. A brand new excuse for the courts to let men off the hook for all manner of crimes.

Its surprising that men find it so easy to push women back, changing society’s rules, after they’ve proved themselves though isn’t it? New technology is used against women and their ability to earn every time. But they can’t handle change. Only the sort of change that brings the Taliban in and changes Iran from democracy back to religious and authoritarian dictatorships.

Will you, the same person, be supporting calls to end migration of men from the even-more-women hating countries, Afghanistan and the like? Because men cannot change their culture and women are and will continue to suffer from all these Islamic imports?

You also need to look up some of the history of work and crafts here in Britain. Women have always worked and in crafts that some may find surprising today. Women could be blacksmiths for instance. But male dominance has minimised, sidelined and made us all forget women’s work. They always do. So the change is not to ‘give women equality’ outside of the home, as if that’s solely in men’s gift to grant. The change was in working outside the home, and the set up of a society that forced the destruction of work from the home and the fundamental clash with the needs to bring up a family.

Plus - I’m hogging this now, sorry - you might want to check up on your idea that men did not want to accept greater family roles. Back in the 90s, the ones that I knew all did. The plan back then was that everyone would be able to enjoy greater economic gains because of computers and everyone would share them, enabling both men and women to work part time and men to have more time at home. With their families.

Naturalky it didn’t work out like that, we had the super rich and elite realise that they could instead take everything, make themselves billionaires, and screw the rest. Which led directly to the impacts on ethics and choices lower down the hierarchy, with men en masse realising that the new ethics of exploitation once again excuses their exploitation of women’s genuine desire to work for the good of their family. It didn’t happen everywhere - the Nordics are usually held up as a good example of where it actually worked. But this is Britain, land of the original transition to new technology and new power schemes, so there was no hope, and a powerful new example of exploitation pulling the opposite way (the USA).

Assuming this was a genuine post, as opposed to a troll… oh women do use their own voices alright, the problem is the men don’t act on it, resentment builds and the relationship breaks down when the children are older. Men also tend to call women using their own voice ”nagging” and dismiss the issues being raised. I can’t believe I’m spelling this out - it is such a phenomena of modern life.

I have a couple of male friends who married women from other countries - European countries. And the wives do nothing. They don't work, they don't do any life admin and the dads are fully responsible for kids logistics. It's seems totally accepted - but if you reversed it everyone would be saying LTB.

I disagree that most boys grow up seeing their parents having equal work / home roles that they will carry on in their lives.

Many women although have equal rights in the workplace ‘choose’ to plateau their careers and/or work part time to accommodate children - this has a huge compound effect on their personal wealth over their lives even if they resume full time working - especially pensions and loss of employer pension contributions altogether during unpaid mat leave.

This obviously helps the children and is a family choice - but the male career is supported to accelerate both financially and hierarchically.

Also at home the woman mostly holds the mental load - even if she is the higher earner, still working full time - this starts IME before children, before marriage - just living together - technically equal in the workplace but having to take the lead on the domestic and emotional front.

Thats been my experience with a nice / feminist guy in our 50s. He’s much better now as our DC are almost all young adults - and I take responsibility for falling for the ‘having it all’ BS and trying to be the 90s/00s superwoman.

Yes exactly. Why do women even have to be the micro managers to start with? And yes even in this role is nagging and contempt and resentment fester.

Just a couple 🤔 that's interesting because I know loads of men that do fck all earning, cleaning and they occasionally babysit their own children. Instead they spend all day sitting on their computers gaming, claiming benefits.

Funny old world ain't it?

Agree. I’m only in my 40s but the community I grew up in really looked down on men that didn’t provide. Not to say the women didn’t work(they did) but the man was expected to do a proper weeks work and provide for the family. Any man lazing about was pretty much shunned by everyone- I can only think of one where that was the case.