to expect people not to give me doom and gloom when I say I'm pregnant?

[babyignoramus]

Sorry, just need to vent...

Ok, so I am in my 6th week of pregnancy with 1st. I am not stupid and I realise that it's still very, very early days. It's still a vulnerable stage, BUT I'm not a secretive person and I prefer people to be aware of what's going on with me. So, I decided to tell my workmates today - mainly to avoid awkward questions/speculation and avoid making excuses every time I refuse to pick up a really heavy file etc etc.

Anyway, they were all really pleased, but one person said to me "why are you telling people now? You should wait until 12 weeks, miscarriages can happen to anyone you know." To which I (trying to lighten the mood) said, "yes I know but I've got no will power!". She then said something like , "No, I'm serious, it's really common and it's silly to tell people."

Well, thanks a lot! Of course I know that, and I know most people wait until later but it's MY choice to tell people now. I'm not superstitious about this kind of thing and telling people isn't going to have any effect on what may or may not happen. So I'm different from most people, deal with it!

I kind of laughed it off at the time but the more I think about it the more annoyed I am - fancy saying such an awful negative thing! GRRR!

Congratulations.
Take no heed of others, just look after youself and enjoy your pregnancy.
I told my work at what I thought was 10weeks, but was actually 8weeks as had got my dates wrong (my first pg took me by surprise!). I took the view that if the worst did happen and I lost the baby I would tell them anyway, I didn't need to hide it from them IYSWIM.
My SIL works as a nurse and had to tell her employers as soon as she got a positive pg test as she wouldn't be able to handle certain bits of equipment etc

Just remembered that when I told our old next door neighbour(elderly lady) I was expecting a baby at Christmas she said quite sweetly 'Oh I had a baby at Christmas.... It died!!!!!' How insensitive. My DH was quite mad with her when later that week I was clearing away a dead bird from our driveway, she came out to say 'touching a dead bird in pregnancy means a dead baby' !!!!!! What a load of tosh! But not a nice thing to say to a pregnant woman. Some people do say the most innappropriate and stupid things sometimes.

babyignoramus

People can be SUCH arses, but the moment you give out personal information, people WILL respond with personal advice. It goes with the territory, though still hard to choke down at times.
Later they'll be feeling your bump without your permission. KILL THEM!

Got carried away there.

Enjoy; you will (though the last few weeks is well boring).

Message withdrawn

I told everyone the day after the test....8 and a half months later out popped DS1.

Don't listen to the gloom and doom brigade.
ENJOY every moment, and congratulations

Waves at chequers

Congratulations!

Also just the start of lots of daft/ unsolicited/ downright rude comments, I'm afraid. I don't know why people say such weird things when you're pregnant. (I work with a nun who told me all about how the WORST thing you can do to a baby is try and fail to have an abortion. Emotional trauma for life. My pregnancy was planned, she knows my partner. V v weird.)

Good opportunity to practice your vague smile and hmm, really? while letting the nonsense go in one ear and out the other - dd is now 20 months, I'm getting better at it.

Congratulations!!
Just ignore the rude comments. I think being pregnant makes people think its ok to say what ever they like to you and dispense advice that you haven't asked for.

mangolassi - what the hell? What an odd thing to say, esp from a nun (they shouldn't know of these things)!

I feel better today. I told my sis what this woman said (and was also moaning that I'd been feeling sick all day for the first time) and she texted back the following:

"this week your baby is about the size of a bean, has got tiny arms and letgs and has just started waving them around"

That made me feel better

I could never keep it a secret, I tried but it was no good, I was all silly grins.

Congratulations!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Silly insensitive cow - ignore her! If she is normally nice she probably had good intentions but it was insensitive to share them with you.

I was the same with both of mine - far too excited to keep the news to myself! Plus felt that if the worst happened and I lost the baby (I didn't) that I would need the support of these people and them knowing that I had been pregnant would be easier than having to explain it all from the beginning.

A personal thing and no 'right way' to deal with it but get used to it! Soon you will have complete strangers telling you their horrendous birth stories (the fact that being pregnant makes people think you WANT to hear of everything that went wrong for them continues to perplex me!!) and then when your baby is born its all 'is he / she sleeping through?' when they're about a day old and lots of unasked for parenting advice. I think it's just people being excited but it is a little annoying at times!!!

Message withdrawn

Congratulations! Does this mean you'll be joining us here?

I agree about the support thing. When I had an early mc I was really grateful that I had told my friends as I really appreciated their support.

As some one who has suffered some MC's and also has two beautiful babies, I say sod your colleague.

I always had people at work who I tild, mainly because like you I was just too excited to keep it to myself.

And having them know what was going on with me (good and bad) really helped me, they were a brilliant support netowkr for me.

CONGRATULATIONS to you, ignore her and enjoy every minute of your pregnancy, as it's your first you can be pampered, sleep when you like and refuse to do anything you feel incapable.

Hi. Congratulations.

I've had two mcs and one baby and each time I told close friends and family straight away but asked them not to tell everybody until after 12 weeks. I have always talked openly about my mcs because I think there is too much secrecy about them so I didn't worry about telling people early.

I'm just pregnant again (less than five weeks) and have told my mother, sisters and a couple of close friends so far. Plus DH! I will tell other people as I see them.

But DH has decided not to tell his family this time until after the 12 week scan. Not sure why, but his family, his choice.

warmfuzzy, I think I may have already posted in that thread but can't remember! My offical EDD (at the moment anyway) is 27th Feb 2009. Good job it's not a leap year!