To wonder why some people won’t take no for an answer when offering food

[rhereyago]

I was recently in the same area as my mums family; had my five year old with me. I’d arranged to call in.

They offered me a drink; fine, lovely. Then decided they were going to make fish fingers, chips and peas for us. I tried everything to stop them! I explained numerous times we were doing to a restaurant afterwards, dc was quite looking forward to it, but they just ignored us and we both ended up with an unappetising meal neither of us wanted

Why do people do this? I’ve known others like this who just don’t take no for an answer and give you food you don’t want. Pretty much the entirety of the visit was spent with me trying to get them to stop them making food for us so didn’t even get to chat.

AIBU? I don’t think I am, but …

In this case, at the point of recieving an invite I'd be saying "no, because you insist on making me food that I don't want and frankly I'm sick of it".

Too much? 🤔

It’s a bit late now! But seriously, I don’t need to explain exactly who they are and my relation to them - OK? I’m unlikely to see them again for years. I’m wondering in a broader sense why people do this.

@Isittimeformynapyet it happens a fair bit as I don’t drink tea or coffee but feel weirdly obliged to accept tea I don’t like to be polite!

My mother does this - she wouldn't make a full meal if we said no, but she's a feeder and I now realise she gets validation from it. What I have had to do recently though, is try and ignore the deep sighing and huffing she does when I refuse her offerings. She takes it personally and it drives me INSANE.

How about this @rhereyago :

Host politely offers tea.
We politely accept the tea.
At the end of the visit we extra -politely take our cup to the kitchen and empty the cold contents down the sink.

I heard my ex-MIL complaining about me saying I expected to be waited on and couldn’t even make myself a cup of tea.

What was happening was I never wanted a cup, she’d just keep offering every 5 minutes until eventually I’d say yes just to shut her up- and stop her asking.

This is a terrible admission but I’ve started fibbing and saying I’m diabetic when taking my DD to class birthday parties as host parents will just not take no for an answer when it comes to handing out cake. I’m not sweet toothed, and cake really isn’t my thing.

To those saying OP should have been more firm, I can be firm when needed but I’ve genuinely been ignored and a plate thrust in front of me with a comment like ‘no need to watch your calories today, looking great, blah blah…’

I can’t explain it. It’s like you’ve offended them by refusing. Maybe they just don’t want to be left with it either 😆

My SIL does this all the time. Brings around food going out of date cause it’s going out of date and they’re going away for the weekend and it’s UPF shite we’d never eat and it’s so we have to bin it and take the food waste guilt rather than them.