To ask for your ideas for a memory box/care package for my DS who is going to Asia for his year abroad?

[LittleMisty]

My son is off to Asia at the end of August.

I am hugely proud that he's brave enough to do this, delighted for him but scared too, and panicking at the idea that I won't see him for a whole year.

I'd like to make these last weeks a bit special, and prepare a small care pacjage/memory box.

Do you have any ideas or experiences to share, either as a parent or when a student yourself?

He has been at uni in the next town to ours and has been home one or twice a month for the weekend over the past two years, and I've been to see him once or twice. But this is very different.

It will be extra stuff for him to carry.

or were you thinking he opens and doesn’t take with him?

he will have loads of photos on his phone

I don’t think this is a great idea, sorry. It’s another thing to carry. A few “real” care packages containing things he needs and can’t get, delivered throughout the year, would make more sense and be more welcome.

I went abroad for a while myself as a student, and have a son who’s just graduated.

Has he expressed any desire for this?

Tbh this sounds like something you want. By all means put aside the time to make yourself a photo book or similar of pictures you haven’t got around to sorting from childhood… for you. But he is going out in the world precisely to change, grow and experience new things, not to hold on to the past.

When I went abroad, what I needed above all was money, and knowing my mum was there to call if I really needed to (of course back then I would only have rung her in a dire emergency). Give him a plug adapter, a solar charger maybe, a sun hat, sun cream, travel insurance if he will let you. Not a box of stuff that says very clearly ‘I’m struggling with you moving on’.

Thank you!!!!!

Money is probably all that's required, and knowing I'm just a phone call away if needed.

Deep breath.

Nothing. He will have to carry it and he's not going forever. Id have a family party before he goes and take pics to send him. Id probably leave him to it. Adult man.

My son and a friend went travelling, I got both of them a stretch bracelet with the apostles on from the local Christian bookshop, and a carabiner clip from Mountain Warehouse - they said I was hedging my bets! I’d give a few little notes of encouragement for him to open when he needs. Good luck to him.
(Just remembered, as they were travelling, various apostles gradually wore/washed off 🤣).

OP, if he has Revolut or something send him some funds when he hits a new place. He won't want to carry a memory box of any sort with him I wouldn't have thought. A friend of mine gave me a St Christopher necklace when I went travelling to keep me safe. Neither of us are religious but I did keep that with me. I also had a 100 US dollars in the bottom of my hiking boots when I wasn't wearing them for an emergency but never needed it.

When my DS went travelling he sent me loads of photos so I had them made into a photo book for him on his return.

As others have said he won’t be able to pack extra things and money will be the best thing to give him before he goes.

Care packages will be more appreciated after a few months when he starts missing stuff from home.

I’ve been travelling for a year and I wouldn’t have wanted to carry around a memory box. I’m pretty sure he won’t either. What did come in handy was a Leatherman. It was a lovely gift from friends and used regularly whilst away. Just check if it’s allowed onboard the aeroplane these days.

He’d also rather you just send over money to him now and again, so he can treat himself to better lodgings for the night, or a restaurant meal etc…

He’ll not forget you and you’ll be chatting on WhatsApp regularly and photos can be sent back and forth daily.

Agree money is the best gift!

The easy to carry like the St Christopher necklace is not a bad idea, if you want to give a memento

Honestly just give him money. Not a huge amount in one go but transfer regular small amounts so you and he knows he always has enough for food.

Is he travelling about or staying in one place? I did a studying year abroad and some friends family’s would send things like favourite chocolate that we couldn’t get, which went down well. If travelling then sending things aren’t very helpful as you have to trek them around. My dad sent me some things when I was travelling that unfortunately I had to leave as they were just too cumbersome to carry about. Money is always good!

You need to give him absolutely nothing other than excellent travel insurance, money, and your number in case he runs out! He needs to take as little as possible with him. Anything he forgets to take he can buy out there (and probably cheaper). He’s not going to be sat around in SE Asia gazing wistfully at his mum’s memory box. You sound like a lovely mum and you’re trying to do the right thing, but I really don’t think it’s what he needs. Hope he has a great time!

Time for mummy to cut the cord.
Let the bird fly, leave the cage door open and it will soon return.
Cash when he needs it, (but don’t tell him) just ask him gently if he’s got enough, whilst he’s away, is the best gift.
He will be a changed man when he comes home. He must be so excited.
I hope he has a great time. My offspring did!

Op… the best present will be that once he messages to say he’s landed… you transfer money to him to buy some “care” bits.

As the mother of a teen boy… I’m really surprised you’re even considering a care / memory box!

A memory box? He's only going for a year and it will just be another thing to cart around. Probably a bit embarrassing as well. Money and send him stuff as he needs it, but maybe a small token of some sort. My mum bought me some "lucky" earrings under similar circumstances.

A jar of marmite....I always take one with me.

I agree with a previous poster - a great gift is fantastic travel insurance. Anything else is something to carry and potentially loose.

No don’t like this idea. There’s WhatsApp so he is hardly going to be out of communication for the year! Better to make up a box of his favourite goodies you can send him at Christmas.

When my son went to New Zealand to work for a year, I gave him a laminated credit card sized list of everybody's phone numbers, which was incredibly useful when he lost his phone. I also transferred money every so often so he could treat himself to something nice.

When my DS went to Sri Lanka for a medical placement, I gave him a St. Christopher’s. It had actually been my sister’s - she’d wanted him to have it after her death, as all her other jewellery was for my DDs and she wanted him to have something, but I’d completely forgotten about it.

My DS wore it all the time until a barber managed to cut the chain. Which reminds me - I must buy him a new chain. I think it’s quite nice to have something from home when something goes wrong/an unexpected wave of homesickness hits.

But I agree that the most important thing is excellent travel insurance. I would also talk to him about what it actually covers (i.e., not motorbikes), and what extras he might want.

Surely his phone is a memory box

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just extra stuff to carry!
Ask him what he needs, practically, and contribute in that way.

He’ll have an amazing time and be back before you know it!

When I was on my year abroad, the best care packages from my family were:

1. Money (mainly for once-in-a-lifetime experiences I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to afford)
2. Food from home (stuff I couldn’t get in the country where I was staying e.g. marmite, prawn cocktail crisps, custard creams, etc.) Obviously needs to be products that won’t melt or go off in transit!