Wedding related one couple not reciprocating

[EWAB]

My 28 year old colleague is getting married later this year. It’s a large wedding and my partner and I are invited.

She is absolutely lovely, a very inclusive person. Single people are getting a plus one, children are invited. She wants people to be happy. It’s not entirely DIY but her cousin is in a band and there’s a buffet instead of a sit down meal. Her mum is contributing a small amount and buying her dress.

She was looking forward to going out on Friday evening with her partner and his cousin and fiancée, someone who she had me twice before in passing.

Essentially the cousin said that they were looking forward to the wedding but they were also getting married but not inviting them.

They were only inviting about 40 people as they didn’t want to spread their money too thinly and to be cheap.

What do you think of this. Is it rude or not? I can’t make my mind up. Colleague is really upset.

Its fine. Colleague is silly to be upset - shes not close to cousin, its a small wedding.

Bloody hell it’s weird you are posting this. About your colleague.

So this cousin is going to be in a band performing at your colleague’s wedding… yes?

Ah I have screwed up mentioning cousins.

HER cousin is sorting the music for her wedding.

It is colleague’s partner’s cousin who has happily accepted an invitation for him and his fiancée but isn’t inviting them to theirs.

Op this is your SIXTH thread about wedding issues.

This is all very weird

and now the weird mix up

either way… stop obsessing about weddings and other more general perceived slights (of which there are many it would seem)

Also he was sort of implying people who are inclusive and have bigger weddings will come over as cheap. This has upset colleague.

You go to an awful lot of weddings, or people you know do...

Bluntly, so what? This is the definition of (a) not a big deal and (b) not your deal at all, big or small. Nothing is needed from you here.

Ok then I will shut up.

Didn’t realise I had this obsession or that I went to a lot of weddings but OK.

People can do what they like at their wedding. This is a day when they can be the main characters!

Edit typo

6 threads about different weddings you all have an issue with or a question about??

and then thread after thread about things you’re upset or offended about

all very peculiar

and here you are getting offended on behalf of someone ELSE!

What on earth is she upset about?

Does she think she's entitled to an invitation? This all sounds very odd.

Not a colleague
I’d bet your son
and this cousin…. Is your brother’s child? The same brother who didn’t invite you to his wedding?!

Invite 40 people and not invite you is fine. To imply yours is cheap because you prefer to invite more people and budget elsewhere to allow this is very rude.

It's a completely different type of wedding though. I don't think your colleague should be offended
I can see that she might be hurt though
I think generally family should be prioritised as many friends and colleagues are temporary family is forever.
I wasn't invited to my nephew's wedding. It wasn't a small wedding but the couple prioritised friends. I thought I was close to his parents and always sent him gifts on his birthdays Christmas etc. so I was very hurt but I wasn't offended and I didn't say anything other than congratulations and sent them money and a card.

I’m not sure what she is upset about. I was invited to all 3 of my best friends from school wedding alll day however we only invited them to our evening reception,

we had a close family wedding only as that’s what we could afford. We had our parents, siblings, aunts and uncles which totalled 40 people, we then had a party at night and invited friends , extended family and colleagues,

everyone’s wedding is different , everyone’s budget is different, I would take it personally.

I'm sorry you didn't get an invitation to someone's wedding in the past, and that this has left you with strong feelings afterwards.

Not your wedding, not your problem OP. I'm sure your colleague doesn't need for you to be offended /upset/ angry or other on her behalf.
Weddings seem to be a thing on here, what with another poster and over 2 threads complaining and blithering on about the colour of her dress being cream not white. 🤔

Having a small wedding which means you can't necessarily reciprocate with invitations to everyone whose wedding you attended is fine, people have the right to have the kind of wedding they want.

Implying that someone who chooses to have a wedding with more DIY/lower cost elements so that they can invite more friends and family is "cheap" is definitely not ok, that's just rude.

Good lord that's quite odd.

Is this guy always a bit of a twat as soon as he opens his mouth I wonder?
Because if he is, his new wife will probably be on here within a year, if that complaining about him.

That's not how weddings work, you don't invite someone so you're then invited to their wedding, that's ridiculous. Dh and I would never be invited anywhere as we eloped 😂

Why are you so concerned about other people’s weddings? People should always have the wedding they want. Hers sounds exactly as she wants, perfect for her.

If budget were an issue for me, I’d prefer to have no children outside of immediate family, close friends over relatives I’m not close to, and have a sit down meal which I’d enjoy.

Neither is right or wrong; neither is your business.

Not rude at all. Some people have big weddings, some have small. Just because you have a big bash and invite loads of people doesn't mean you're automatically invited to everyone else's micro wedding.

She's very upset at not being invited to her fiancees cousins wedding, and shes only them twice

See if you can order a grip for her, maybe amazon do them