Should everyone have an art/sport?

[Houseofdrums]

I keep having this conversation with a groups of friends. So I wanted to ask MN if doing a sport or something in the arts has helped in life. And how.

My parents didn’t put me in anything extracurricular (except primary school) and I feel like my life would be a little richer if they did. Don’t get me wrong, as a grown up I have my job and my hobbies which are all self taught, so I’m not blaming my parents.

But as a parent I’m finding that I am precious about my children training in at least 1 skills that isn’t academic - it could be a sport, a craft, music - something.

I have parent friends so focused on academia for their child (our children are in public schools if that makes a difference), and a few of my friends keep highlighting that they’ve stopped their child from doing anything outside of academia. Whilst I’m a believer in, if they want to, I’d encourage them to have an extra skill. If it’s affordable for the parents - but there are actually alot of free things around us.

But I’m second guessing what the true benefits of investing in sports, music and craft and hobbies are after a certain age.

My teen enjoys her sport, and she’s amazing at it. She even says she just wants it as a hobby when she’s older, not a job (which would be a difficult path anyway). AIBU for encouraging other parents to not let their child give up on sports/ drama /craft/music etc.

(aware I’m asking 2 things here).

I think doing extracurriculars is really, really important, whether or not they’re good at it.

They’re fab for building confidence, a different skillset, a different type of fun, and most importantly for developing a different group of friends.

The more sets of friends your children have the better, because they’re not relying on one group if there’s a fall out etc.

I think with all of the absolute shite available on screens it's even more important to get kids used to doing something else as a hobby.

It’s not entirely clear what you’re asking.

It doesn't have to be about being excellent at any or all of them, but helps develop skills and confidence, and mentality of having a go or pushing self to do things even when don't feel like it.

When you say ‘public’ schools, do you mean state schools? Because in the U.K. ‘public’ schools means something else - a type of independent senior school.

I’m neither arty or sporty and it didn’t do me any harm.

With our two, if they wanted to do something outside of school it was completely their decision. The youngest did a lot and enjoyed it. The eldest didn’t want to and it’s had zero impact on him.

YANBU.

Extra curriculars are so valuable. IMO, they are the foundation for a happy life.

DS1 had a sport and music. Both of them have brought him real joy and close friendships through his adult life.

DS2 was resistant - he is autistic. I didn't exactly force him, but 'required' him to do one extra curricular and if he couldn't think of anything else he'd rather do, he had to stick with the one he had. It was an instrument. He became seriously good at the instrument, and it is the foundation of his hobby and friendship group outside of work. It gives him so much pleasure now.

I had one extra curricular. It gave me a friendship group and teenage life that was pretty bloody perfect. I had no friends at school until I took it up. And it became a career for about six years. Fun while it lasted.