My neighbour and Sarah's Law

[Heyhellohihi]

Hi all.

I have a few concerns about my neighbour. At first he seemed a perfectly normal neighbour. We are housing association.

Then one day when myself and my DD were going inside to my flat, he said "don't worry I'm just a big friendly giant, I'm not scary at all, you can trust me." to my daughter. She's 10yo. I thought he was just being friendly. But it lingered in the back of my head.

However after 3 years of living next door to me, he had now learned my routine, watched out his window. Came out his front door when I had visitors. His front door is opposite mine. He was constantly coming out with every visitor. Questioned what I am doing. Messaging me on Facebook (we are part of a residents group). And sending me another message if I didn't respond after an hour. Asking me "who that gent is" when I had my brother over. It felt like a controlling relationship. However we had never met up apart from bumping into each other in the block. We've never flirted. Never been inside eithers flats. It got daily.

I went to my housing association. The guy who manages the block advised me to go to the police. I did. The officer on the phone said I could do a Sarah's Law as I have a daughter. I applied for one.

Another officer called me back a week later and told me that he can see the history of this guy and he's done it to someone else previously. They didn't specify who and to block him on everything. I did. And to report him if he does anything. He was also spoken to. The officer then told me because he's a neighbour I cannot do a Sarah's law on him. However I have read online I can. How true is this please?

I dread it when my daughter goes to secondary school. As she will be coming home herself. I know it's easy to say make sure I'm home but I want her to become independent.

I cannot move. I am housing association. I've tried home swappers but we want to stay in this town. Most weekends I stay at my mums because of him.

Op you can access the sex offenders list in your area very easily ime. Stumbled on it quite by accident..
Quite an eye opener..

How did you managed to find it please? I've tried previously.

There’s a few websites online. Start with sex offenders database uk and then put your area. Theres 170 in mine. Some of them go into a lot of detail including their names, the street they live in and their offences. Trigger warning for some of the things you’ll have to read, especially with the ones that include the pathetic sentence they got. One by me got convicted of multiple counts of oral rape, plus one count of rape against two little girls (sisters) that went on for many years. One of the sisters had to be committed and is still committed as an adult after what he did to them. His wife stuck by him though, and during the trial she wrote the judge a letter asking him to be lenient as she was suffering with cancer. He got given a suspended sentence

Why aren’t the police arresting him for stalking you? That is the exact pattern of behavior you have described. I would go back to them and raise this question.

I question this too. It's mad.

OP, I found out my neighbour is achild rapist by looking on one of these websites-but when I checked, the www.police.uk website says that
You must apply for information about a specific person and a specific child or children they spend time with. You cannot apply for general information about child sex offenders.
I didn't apply because no contact with my children who are older, but very glad I know and I have put security measures in place -I think because he tried to initiate conversation with your daughter you could argue that he does have contact with her because he initiates it and you can't avoid him if he accosts you with your child when you are going in and out of your home.

Unless he’s physically harmed her they don’t care.

https://madebyredrose.co.uk/map#google_vignette

That’s certainly not true in my professional experience.

😩

Even if you can’t request a Sarah’s law search he is harassing and stalking you and your daughter. Make a new complaint to the police if it is still continuing. If you don’t get a proper response, report it to your police and crime commissioner who will have been publicly promoting their violence again women and girls strategy recently.

I know you say you can’t move but can you not pursue this with the council, I can only see this situation escalating. Surely between the police and council something more can be done to protect you and your daughter!

I’m sorry that you’re both going through this. I think too that you are probably best reporting him for harassment. This page will talk you through it.

After you’ve reported the harassment I would also inform your landlord in writing that he’s harassing both you and your DD.

I totally get too that you’re worried about her safety in September. Is there a possibility that she can go to your DM’s instead of coming home or can she go to the library at School to do her homework?

This.

Don't let the police fob you off. They need to act about the harassment and stalking.

I would also keep insisting that the housing association moves you to a different property. If they knew about this man they should never have moved a single parent with a daughter into this property anyway. So make an official complaint and state that they have put you and your daughter at risk and are now doing nothing to help safeguard you.

You can also write to your local MP and ask them to contact the housing association to support you and put pressure on them.

Frankly it really annoys me how victims of harassment are let down by the authorities who still don't take women's concerns seriously and address things early before they escalate.

The nonce in my family doesn't appear on any of the above websites (he was in the police at the time of the offences so I think police have made sure to cover themselves).

Even though my DCs were in very close contact with this person, the police visited us 3 times before they made the disclosure and they barely told us anything. They then made a report to social services as our children were in close contact. In fairness social services were amazing at supporting us and our DCs but it should never have come to that. At every stage it felt like the police were more bothered about protecting the offender.

Call me cynical, but after my experience I believe the police are not on your side, you will have to treat this man like he is an offender. I am sorry you are going through this. I would document absolutely everything and keep on at the housing association.

Contact the Suzy Lamplugh trust and if the police haven’t taken it seriously complain. Record everything.

This is scary, they are everywhere

I think the OP should focus on pursuing the stalking issues rather than muddy the waters with the sex offender thing. As awful as this man is, there doesn't seem to be any evidence or suggestion that he is committing or has committed any sexual offences. There are, however, demonstrable stalking behaviours.

With historic cases they have to be sentenced under the legislation at that time unfortunately, not current legislation/sentencing guidance

This!!
I just wouldn’t want to stay there at all after this.
Either you or he needs to move

could you speak to the student welfare team at your daughters school and ask them for some support for your daughter as this would fall under the safeguarding remit. They might be able to write a letter of support to the housing association.

That is very good advice. I’ve just had a look at their website and I hadn’t realised that there is a National Stalking Helpline.

Take it with a pinch of salt on whether it's current.

One woman named on there used to live in my town. She scarpered when she was in court for animal abuse and now lives four counties away under a new name but is listed as still being here. That was in 2019.

It's clearly based on where the courts have them as living, and many will be of no fixed abode because they were thrown out or in prison - that tells you nothing about where they are today.

Depending on where you live, there is also Aurora New Dawn, Veritas, Victim Support and Paladin (Paladin is nationwide).

Christ!

@Heyhellohihi Keep reporting it to housing association, they should move him because he is being antisocial by stalking. You should not have to move.