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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go on a holiday without my family?

21 replies

thislittlelife · 27/06/2026 12:22

I am considering going on a once in a lifetime holiday with a relative. Due to the distance and travelling time required, I'd be away for a minimum of 11 days and it would have to take place during school holidays as I work in a school.

I work full time so termtime weeks are busy, we make up for it with lovely weekend and school holiday adventures - I feel this is why I feel so guilty/selfish about the prospect of giving up school holiday family time.

To pre-empt a few questions (and avoid drip feeding):
-Children are both primary age (KS2)
-The holiday destination is not suitable for children (significant amounts of walking)
-I can't wait until they are grown up as the relative is retired and whilst currently fit and healthy enough to do this, may not be in another 10 years.
-Husband is very encouraging - we are very 50/50 in all aspects of family life so no concerns about children being well looked after or him being grumpy/unpleasant about me going.
-Husband has no interest in a similar holiday/experience, but I'd have no issue with him going if he did. He has equal childfree time to me - possibly slightly more as he gets quite a lot of weekdays off due to shift work.
-Finances are one pot, husband and I are middle earners in the public sector (comfortable but not flush) and each take an equal monthly allowance for personal spends - I will finance the holiday by saving part of mine each month.
-Family summer holiday and weekend camping trips will all happen as usual - my going will not impact the experiences my children usually have.

Please let me know your genuine thoughts - is it reasonable for me to do this or am I being too selfish and should sack it off?

YABU - you can't go away for almost 2 weeks during a school holiday when you have primary age children, they will miss you and it isn't fair.
YANBU - go on the holiday and enjoy the once in a lifetime experience.

OP posts:
BlondeFool · 27/06/2026 12:23

Just go. Your DH is on board. I don’t get the angst. Sounds brilliant.

Bringflowersofthefairest · 27/06/2026 12:25

Go for it.

Sounds like you and your husband have a great marriage and if he’s okay it with it I would have no qualms about going.

FourSevenFour · 27/06/2026 12:26

Go for it.

Sounds it is a special situation, one off.
Children aren't babies and it will do them good to see that mum has her own life.

AltitudeCheck · 27/06/2026 12:27

Do it, once in a life opportunity, you can afford it and kids will be well looked after and husband is onboard... Don't invent obstacles where there are none!

SunnyRedSnail · 27/06/2026 12:28

Sounds amazing!

I'd 100% go for it!

I often travel with my teenager and leave DH with the younger two. I just do video calls every night so they don't miss me too much!

MeanwhileinGilead · 27/06/2026 12:29

It's fine in theory, and it sounds like you're in a good situation to take advantage of the offer and the children will be well taken care of while you're gone. I'd do it.

hourspassed · 27/06/2026 12:31

Go! I am now holidaying solo as a late 50 something - DH doesn't share my love of travel or adventure. I wish I'd had the courage to do a little of it when I was younger. This is way too big an opportunity to miss! Have an incredible time.

thislittlelife · 27/06/2026 12:36

Thank you all for being so encouraging ❤️ you've pretty much echoed what I was thinking... I just needed a bit of reassurance that it's ok to go 😅

OP posts:
Pleasehelpmedress · 27/06/2026 12:36

I'd say go for it. I'm doing something similar leaving a 3 year old with my husband this summer. As he (rightly!) pointed out no one would question it if he was going away without us!

My mum is being driven mad by all her friends asking if she is going to stay with him to look after our daughter (he works in a school so will be off the whole time, and she'll be in nursery some if it anyway).

JustAnotherWhinger · 27/06/2026 12:37

I think you’d be showing an excellent example to your kids by going.

Sounds like you’ve got a very equal marriage in terms of childcare and finances. Showing children that their parents are people with their own interests and that healthy equal parenting absolutely works in good relationships is a bloody good thing imo

Strawberries86 · 27/06/2026 12:38

Il actually be really annoyed if you don’t go OP. That would be totally unreasonable.

Bristolandlazy · 27/06/2026 12:42

Go for it, they'll have a lovely time with their Dad and you'll have an amazing time. Nothing wrong with being selfish, we should all be selfish sometimes. How exciting.

wateraddict · 27/06/2026 12:45

Absolutely yes. Life is for living, the richness of the time your family will have together while you are gone will also be lovely. Solo time with all our loved ones is precious, including the person you are going with. Give yourself permission to go and enjoy every second. Come back happy, healthy and full of inspiration for your children. They are safe with their loving capable Dad. Have the best best time and come back and tell us how it went after!

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 27/06/2026 12:46

thislittlelife · 27/06/2026 12:36

Thank you all for being so encouraging ❤️ you've pretty much echoed what I was thinking... I just needed a bit of reassurance that it's ok to go 😅

It does seem a bit strange that if your DH supports you going that you need input off random people on the internet

ARingtoit · 27/06/2026 12:54

Of course you should go!

JustGiveMeReason · 27/06/2026 13:00

Of course you should go.

Please stop looking for reasons not to.
there is absolutely no reason not to go.
Hope you have a fantastic time.

ShetlandishMum · 27/06/2026 13:01

Go!

whippersnapper55 · 27/06/2026 14:35

Of course you should go! It'll be really good for your DH and kids, they could do a camping trip or plan some days out while you're away. It's perfectly acceptable for you to have a life outside being a wife, mother and worker - in fact it's setting a great example for your kids!

Reallyneedsaholiday · 28/06/2026 18:53

I did it. Go for it. Enjoy.

Skyflier · 29/06/2026 14:12

You should definitely go. Absolutely nothing stopping you family wise and sounds like the trip of a lifetime. Have a wonderful time and enjoy every second

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · 29/06/2026 14:16

Go for it! It sounds like everyone is on board, so why not? Have a great time!

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