AIBU to report a relative's domestic abuse and concerns for children?

[GreenBayTractor87]

A family member of mine is domestically abusing his partner. Whilst I’ve never seen it directly, he has been recorded screaming and threatening her, we’ve seen her with bruises a few times, he smashes up the house, several family members have screenshots of the abusive messages he sends her and frankly they’re disgusting. He spends all their money on gambling and drugs (although I'm pretty sure she also partakes in smoking weed). They’ve got small children in the mix who I’m very worried about. He’s been arrested previously as she’s had to call the police on him and neighbours have reported them to social services and they’ve been investigated, but still nothing seems to be happening as she often covers it up (which I’m not blaming her for, I’ve been in a controlling relationship myself and I understand why she may be anxious about being honest) and I’m getting increasingly concerned that she or the kids are going to get seriously hurt. All in all it’s a horrible situation and I feel anxious about just standing by and watching it happen.

My question is, should I also be reporting to the police/social services? Clearly they are already aware but I wasn't sure if it was the kind of situation where the more reports the more likely they are to do something about it? Or will I be getting involved unnecessarily?

No you are not unreasonable. My children were young when I got out of an abusive relationship. They remember as one of mine is in counselling as an adult. The guilt I have is incredible..

Absolutely report. It helps to build up a picture.

Report it. I understand your fears but unless you’re in a financial and practical position to put her and her children beyond his reach, reporting is all you can do.

Yes report it, i the parents won't protect the children someone else has too

If you don’t want to go straight to social services, get advice and report it via a children’s charity website. Have a look at NSPCC

I was going to suggest talking to the NSPCC first too.

Yes report to police and children's social care urgently

Every report builds a picture. Childrens safeguarding is everyones responsibility. Turning a blind eye is not in anyones interests. Please do the right thing and report. Not easy I know.

Yes, you should report it. Show the police all the screenshot of his messages and that you e seen her with bruises. That is more powerful than neighbour accounts.

Please report. If there is any form of domestic abuse in the house, the children are classed as victims too. You are absolutely doing the right thing by reporting.

I would hugely encourage you to report it. I spent from when I was born (1990) to 2006 getting beaten and emotionally abused by my father (as did my mother and brother) and I wish more than anything that someone would have reported it and he’d have been arrested and my mum given the support she desperately needed. She was a victim too but it was in that age of “made your bed” frame of mind from everyone around her.

Of course you report it but don’t over think it. It’s highly unlikely your report will do anything or trigger anything. Just do it because it’s all you can do

Yes ! Report report. You’d be doing the right thing!! For all the reasons other people have given and also remember how many women die every year at their partners hands? And children don’t deserve this trauma in life either. Offer support. Women’s Aid/ IDAS will be helpful to this woman. They have seen it all. They offer counselling and advice.

You can do this, but all the NSPCC does is write down your concern and forward it directly to social services, so you might as well skip the middle man.

Can you arrange to meet separately from your family member and let her know that you are concerned for hers and the children's safety and help her contact women's aid charities and get away from him?
If that's not an option, then definitely keep reporting and hope that eventually someone does something.