AIBU after stopping a driver leaving after bumping my car?

[HoldingOnMum]

Just on the school run, strapping my son into the car when there was a noise and my car moved. After my initial "what was that!?" To the kids, I realised the car in front had just bumped into me. I went to tell him he'd just bumped into my car and he needed to share his details, but he said he hadn't and went to drive off, I stood in front of his car and said he couldn't and kept saying he'd hit my car and needed to provide his details. At this point his car is less than an inch from mine, so hard to see if any damage has even occurred.

This went on for 10-15 minutes, he did get out of the car to have a look, while his car was still less than an inch away, but he kept saying no damage, hadn't touched me and refusing to give his details. My kids were both upset and crying for me to come back to the car. At one point i opened his drivers door and sat on his front seat and said he wasn't going anywhere without providing his details, which I know was wrong, but I was determined he wasn't going to just drive off and claim nothing had happened. I got a photo of his registration and he must be a cab driver as he also had a TFL permit.

Someone smashed into me at speed at the beginning of the year and drove off and there was thousands of pounds of damage, so I didn’t want him to leave without giving his details in case there is hidden damage.

Eventually a couple of other parents stopped and the driver gave me his details, he moved his car forward first and took lots of photos, said there was no damage and he had a camera, so I told him that was great and he'd have footage of him driving into me.

We're all home now and kids are fine but I'm still worked up and angry / upset / embarrassed. Half the school probably drove past while I was yelling at him that he'd hit my car and needed to share his details. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown as it is, and this just feels like another thing tipping me over.

How do normal people react when someone crashes into them!? Should I have just let him drive off? What should I do next? Call him and ask if he's checked his footage and seen he did actually hit me? Find out if he's reported to his insurance? If there is no damage I guess there is no point reporting it myself as it will just increase my insurance premium.

Well done OP. He was being an arsehole. You have done well to stand up for yourself. Have a good look at your car. If it is fine then just leave it. If there is something wrong then you can claim. Xxx

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t have done all that and left my kids like that. Especially on a hot day. It’s all a bit dramatic. Especially as it’s someone you might have to see for years to come on the school run. I would have snapped his reg and reported him for leaving the scene when I got home (and in fact did this when a similar thing happened).

I would have done the same OP, although in actual fact as long as you had his number plate, and possibly a picture of the guy, your insurance company would probably be able to find his details. I had a very similar experience some years ago. I took the guys number plate, as he'd looked and said there was no damage. When my DH came home later that night, and looked at it, he found that there was damage under the bumper, which you couldn't easily see while just standing looking at the back of the car, so I called my insurer and they sorted it out from there.

I also had a situation where someone's nanny reversed into my parked car, just as i was walking away. I shouted and ran after her and her friends, and she claimed she hadn't hit my car, but I told her that I'd seen her. She took out her camera and started taking pictures of my car, so I took a picture of her, and also the registration number, as she didn't know insurance details, as she only had permission to drive the car from her boss, who was the owner. When the insurance company approached the owner of the car, they questioned the nanny, and she denied having done it, so I told my insurer that I had a photo of their nanny, and pointed out, that I wouldn't have had a clue who she was, if I hadn't stopped her, and would have had no reason to take her photo, other than that she damaged my car. They went back to the owners, and they showed the nanny the evidence, at which point she 'fessed up, and the insurance got my car fixed. So well done for standing your ground!

I would have taken a photo of his reg and contacted his insurance, if there was damage. If there’s none then I’d leave it.

Was there any damage?

I would have just taken a picture of his face and car registration. I think that you went a bit nuts for no reason

I would get my phone out and dial 999 adding for good measure that you suspect they may be intoxicated.

It is a legal requirement to give your name, address and insurance company after you have been in a RTC to the other party OR anyone else who may reasonably request it

Honestly op if it wasn't a hard enough bump for you to know what it was that happened, no signs of visible damage and it was a gentle bump then I probably would have let it go unless it felt hard enough that there could have been damage. In which case yes I'd expect a number and would take it for a check at the garage.

Take a video of the car, the driver, the number plate and any damage. Then let the police know he refused to exchange details and inform your insurers.

The next man you meet might not be so passive when you get in his car. That's a bloody stupid thing to do, especially with your children already upset in your own car.

That is not victim blaming BTW, it's about staying safe for the sake of what, a minor crunch? No injuries, no serious damage, nothing traumatic.

Get the car checked by a garage. Just because you can’t see any damage to the bodywork it doesn’t mean there won’t be damage underneath. I forget the name of it, but there’s a bar behind the bumper that absorbs the energy from the crash - if that has been damaged, it might not be able to absorb all the energy if you have another accident.

I can understand why this played out like this but I don't think you handled it well.

I suspect he genuinely didn't think he had bumped into you.

I am assuming you were both parked and he was leaving his space.

you had his picture, his registration and the location, so all you were missing were his name and phone number I guess.

is there any damage?

In future just take photos, as many as possible. His registration number, the position of both cars in the road, all occupants of both cars, the road more generally. The insurance company can trace him from the registration number. It is much more useful for you to get contact details of any independent witnesses.

Once you've a picture of the car and the number plate you really don't need the rest

Is your car damaged? If so I am confused what the issue is?

Might be worth getting a dash cam for your car. It can help enormously in the event of a disputed claim and some insurance companies even give you a discount on premiums if you have the right sort installed.

When are you going to look and see if there's any damage...I would have thought that's the first thing to do? 🤣

I would just have taken down his registration.

As other posters have said, was there actually any damage?

This has happened to me. We looked at our cars and no damage so we just cracked on with our respective days.

I think if we'd done that it wouldn't have escalated the way it did. It was the fact he hit me and then wanted to just drive of that wound me up.

Well done Op for heading off another entitled man who thinks he can treat a woman like shit - except this time he didn't get away with it.

I'd have done exactly the same.

i would have taken a photo of him, his car and registration and then let him go. then you have the details for insurance and police if needed

you put yourself and kids in danger and distressed your kids - that’s not worth it

I think you were reckless to confront an aggressive man whilst you were on your own with the kids. I would have snapped a photo of him/his registration and if there was damage significant enough to claim for then you file a police report for fleeing the scene and pass it all on to your insurer. I really would get a dashcam though.

Things have a way of getting out of control.
I see OP's point, though.
For safety, next time take a pic and report a hit and run to police and your insurance company. And get a dash cam.

You made a fool of yourself and upset the kids in the process.