Am I missing something here, or does this genuinely not make financial sense?
I’m a single mum with two neurodiverse children (16 and 9) and I’ve been offered a job in London paying £70k.
On paper it sounds like an opportunity I should grab. One of the reasons I’m even considering it is because I’d really like to buy a house one day instead of paying £1,800 a month in private rent. I keep thinking that maybe being on a £70k salary would make getting a mortgage easier.
But when I actually sit down and do the maths, I honestly think I’d have nothing left at the end of the month.
The job isn’t flexible. I’d be commuting to London five days a week and realistically wouldn’t get home until after 8pm most evenings.
Because of that, I’d need someone to collect my 9-year-old from school every weekday, drive them home, make sure both children had dinner, keep an eye on them and stay until about 7pm. I’d probably get home around an hour later.
Before anyone suggests it, my 16-year-old can’t collect the younger one. They go to different schools in completely different directions, and my youngest’s school really isn’t accessible without a car. They also don’t get on well enough for me to leave the younger one in the older one’s care every afternoon.
I’d want to pay whoever looked after them properly because it’s a big responsibility. By the time I’ve paid for childcare, commuting, and the extra tax that comes with earning more, I honestly think there’ll be little or nothing left at the end of the month. I may even end up worse off.
It’s not just the money, either. I’d still be the one doing all the cooking, preparing meals for the next day, laundry, school admin, cleaning and everything else that keeps the house running. I’d just be doing it much later at night after getting home from work, so I’d end up sleeping less. Then I’d probably spend most weekends catching up on everything I hadn’t had time to do during the week instead of actually having a chance to rest or spend quality time with my children.
The alternative is a hybrid role paying around £30-35k. I wouldn’t need childcare, I’d actually see my children during the week, I’d have money left over at the end of the month, and I’d still be able to claim some support because my income would be lower.
This is the bit I can’t get my head around.
Does anyone else feel that once you’re a single parent earning above a certain amount, the combination of tax, childcare and commuting means there’s very little financial incentive to take on a much bigger job?
I completely understand why we pay tax, and I’m not criticising people who receive benefits. I’m just struggling to understand why doubling my salary doesn’t seem to improve my family’s financial position once all the extra costs of working are taken into account.
Has anyone actually been in this situation? Did you take the higher-paid job because of the long-term career prospects and mortgage potential, or did you decide that it simply wasn’t worth sacrificing the time with your children when there was no real financial gain?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve faced a similar decision.