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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what to do about vulnerable neighbour?

9 replies

LeeRyan4eva · 26/06/2026 12:17

An elderly lady moved into our street about a year ago, I’d never really seen her or knew her name until April. We were away on holiday and she rang our doorbell at 6am asking for help putting up a curtain track and some other rambling (spoke to her on ring) this happened again a few weeks later - 6am wake up call asking if we knew anything about TV’s. From asking about the village Facebook I managed to get her name and that she had some learning difficulties- but she lives completely on her own and I’m not sure that’s the best for her. I rang round adult social services, 101, and it was like banging my head against the wall.

6.15am today our door goes. Luckily my husband was home and she asked him to look at her door as it wouldn’t open? He goes in, she goes upstairs and locks herself in the bathroom. She says it’s locked and she can’t open it so she’ll have to go out the window. She then proceeds to throw herself out of her FIRST floor window. DH didn’t realise until he had kicked the bathroom door down. It’s high, it wasn’t ground floor.

he came home looking like he had seen a ghost. She only seemed to have minor injuries so we rang 101 - no answer. Social literally yawned while talking to us. So we rang 999 and got her an ambulance as I said she might have internal injuries and she needed checking over. They said she seems ok and left after checks. She then had someone come to take her to a MH appointment so we told them what happened and he said he would tell them, but I don’t know whether to ring the clinic myself.

any advice? She’s in her 70s and she shouldn’t live alone, I worry she’s going to end up killing herself by accident before long.

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 26/06/2026 12:23

Blimey,what a day you've all had If you know which clinic she's gone to I would ring and ask for the nurse or keyworker. I had to do similar when my ndn overdosed, got taken to a&-e, discharged without anyone telling her mh health team and her telling them I would come and collect her, she was kept in and sectioned for a few weeks.

tenpints · 26/06/2026 13:24

Omg. Im
sorry you’ve had to go through this. You shouldn’t have to take on any responsibility though.
However, someone needs to. I would keep pushing for social services, log everything if you can. Next time she calls at 6am with something non emergency I would repeatedly tell her it’s too early.

Supporterofwomensrights · 26/06/2026 13:29

I can understand your worry.

I would suggest emailing so there's a written record of your referral. The problem with phoning is they can deny they ever knew anything. They'll have to act if there's a paper trail.

Even just emailing your council's generic address if you can't find one for a more specific adult social care service. You can always tell them plainly why you've contacted them (e.g. lack of interest/engagement from the council's service when you rang so you're emailing to ensure there's documentation that could be provided if the worst happens and there's an investigation).

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 26/06/2026 13:34

I'd start any call with this lady is vulnerable and threw her self out of a first floor window on x date.. That should definitely start triggering action.

So: Ring local adult social services team:Ask for the safeguarding team. There'll be somebody that will be taking calls.

Explain issues re vulnerability /prev behaviour /also she's alone. Follow it up with brief email.

Ask them what the email is specifically for safeguarding.

Send it to that, and they'll act, I'm sure.

It's a horrid thing to witness.

Lomonald · 26/06/2026 13:35

tenpints · 26/06/2026 13:24

Omg. Im
sorry you’ve had to go through this. You shouldn’t have to take on any responsibility though.
However, someone needs to. I would keep pushing for social services, log everything if you can. Next time she calls at 6am with something non emergency I would repeatedly tell her it’s too early.

Yes just keep at them she obviously needs more support, be a "nuisance " they will eventually listen, email SS every time she is at your door or something happens. Is it a housing association house ?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 26/06/2026 13:38

Push social services. She’s not your responsibility and you’ve been very kind so far.

Lomonald · 26/06/2026 13:38

If someone came to take her to an appointment was it a carer hopefully they will actually let someone know and if she is in hospital she will be getting proper care.

Thingamebobwotsit · 26/06/2026 13:42

Safeguarding alert with local Social Services. In writing. They have to respond. Say it is an emergency and she is very vulnerable (Learning Disability) and her age.

And keep ringing 999 if you need to. They will try and pass from pillar to post otherwise.

If you can get her GP details, email them too.

Say you cannot and will not provide support. It is amazing how long they will expect neighbours to step in, if they think that is an option.

Good luck

LeeRyan4eva · 27/06/2026 09:03

Thank you all. It’s been on my mind constantly since it happened yesterday, and I barely know her. The person who came to pick her up was just a driver but he said he was taking her to the local MH clinic (she’d told him she’d had a “bit of a fall in the kitchen” we said it was a bit more than that, she threw herself out the bathroom window!) so I emailed the complaints department for TEWV which is who runs all the local MH services, and they responded to me quite quickly. According to her next door neighbour SS came last night and took her for a MH assessment but I don’t know any more.
Its not a housing association house, she bought her house a couple of years ago which is what confuses me how she had the capacity to buy it with no family to help her with the process!

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