To not want a holiday?

[Momrage]

DH is a workaholic and tends to work until he drops. We never have anything planned because he refuses to commit and then suddenly he's at breaking point and needs a holiday. That's happened this week and he's keen to go before the kids get off school in 3 weeks.

Queue me having to book last minute time off, rearrange work, scramble to find somewhere to go/stay (money is tight) and then pack, organise, s

Normally I just do it. Anything for a holiday as I'm normally so desperate for one. But I just can't be arsed.

Full disclosure, I started this discussion and sent him a DIRT cheap Centre Parks deal for under £300, but he fannied around deciding and by the time we tried to book it was gone. Would've been perfect but we missed it. It was a one off: dirt cheap accommodation, easy to get to, cheap but nice accommodation, self catering to keep costs low and loads of free stuff for kids (pool, walks,play areas etc.). Last minute but easy.

So, I'm not entirely against being spontaneous but now he's dead set we need to go away but with no plans, no destination, no real budget and I know who will do the brunt of organising, so I said no. The budget is just going to spiral, as has happened in previous years and we end up with a mediocre holiday for a premium price.

I just want to plan, prepare and look forward to a holiday rather than a last minute panic that leaves me more exhausted than when I started. Is that so unfair?

Tell him what you’ve said here and also make him book the next one!

I have. He's said he'll sort it all 🤨

It will be shit and super expensive.

To be honest if it's just you two, you should just agree a budget, and just book whatever you find when you find it without his 'permission' as such, otherwise I'd just say no I'm not doing it, OR you agree to sit together one night and do it.

I assume you know what sort of holidays he likes and they align with your sort of holidays, so don't waste time messing around just find something and book it, the beauty of last minute is that you can get some great deals which you don't get by booking in advance.

His being a workaholic can't just be a problem around holidays. It can't be good for his health or family life. That's the bit he really needs to sort out (before it bites him on the bum).

I understand how to book a holiday. I don't want to do so last minute. Why should I have to just because he's decided. Maybe it's my fault this time for putting the idea out there but I didn't think it'd spital to this.

You don't have to though... No one has to.

Is he self employed? Doesn’t he need to clear leave?!

I do think that he should book it if he’s created the ballache situation. But I think you might need to compromise on accepting what he books. As long as it isn’t something you would actually hate.

My workaholic husband never actively wants to go on holiday, he’s always worried about missing work. I now book holidays that suit me and the DC and tell him he can come or not. He always does come and enjoys it in the end - though only after much “not sure if I’ll be able to” or “this is going to be really tricky” which I have learned to ignore.

This is actually really helpful to hear, thank you. I think this is the approach I may end up adopting.

Yes, he is self employed.

Spend the £300 on lots of lovely things to make things special at home, super comfy garden lounger, Shade awning, paddling pool etc . Plan a super bbq, or film night and explore all of the local places that you've not had the chance to before. No stress just a lovely relaxed summer OP!

@Momrage I usually book a year in advance, pay the deposit and then monthly. I do this whether for Centre Parcs, cabin in wales or on the TUI app for holidays abroad - summer AI or skiing trips. I then just tell hubby and kids what we’ll be doing.

Hasn’t been a problem so far. We can usually afford one great holiday a year and I get to pick because everyone is lazy.

H is also self employed.

yeah id just go awy alone with thte kids fuck that