To look for positive stories of finding new friends in high school?

[PineappleAndGrapefruitLilt]

DD age 12 finishes primary school soon. I posted recently about some friendship issues she's been having recently. She's feeling a bit anxious about having friends to hang about with over summer and making new friends when she starts high school soon.

Is there anyone whose DD had issues with friends at primary who froze them out, but went on to make some good friendships in high school and never looked back? DD is feeling a bit low about it all, which in turn means I am too. Looking for some positivity thanks!

My son has a totally different friendship group to the one he left primary with. They find a whole new tribe.

Same. He didn't gel with many people at primary but is thriving at secondary and so much happier.

Not quite the same thing, but when I left Junior school to go to senior we still had the 11+.

I was the only one in our school who, having passed it, went to one particular Grammar school.

My memory of that time is that it was ok. A bit daunting, but nothing nearly every other child was probably going through.

I made some nice friends. But all that's back in the 1960s.

Both of my daughters went to a different secondary school to their friends. They are still friends with people they met within the first few weeks of starting there. Both are in their 40's now.

My son started high school this year and has made a completely new bunch of friends bar one. It just happened naturally, it definitely didn’t happen straight away. He was sat next to new people in classes and just started talking to them, over a few months they’ve become closer and closer!

Why is she starting secondary school so late out of interest? Doesn't year 7 start when they are 11?

Me! Hated primary, never clicked with the other girls. Met my bestie on the first day of secondary in 2004 and still best friends now. Off to see her tomorrow 😊 I’ve also kept 2 other friends from secondary.

Both my boys found new friendship groups in secondary school. Not because of falling outs, it just sort of organically happened when they found more like minded peers.
DS1s school was a large comp that lots of primary friends went to, and DS2 a grammar where he knew a smaller number than DS1. But it happened to both of them.

@Hallebere
Probably in Scotland where it’s normal to start secondary at 12 depending on birthday.

Yes! Every one of my daughter’s primary school friends went to a different school and my daughter is very introverted so she (and I) was worried.
She found it tricky initially and used to come home and tell me the teachers keep asking her if she’s ok sitting by herself in the playground drawing 😞
But by the end of October she was mentioning the same few girls names and in January when they were all put in their sets by ability she had a firm set of friends, many in one group which is handy as they all get on!
Now she’s at the stage where she can ask them over to her house and she doesn’t even mention her old friends from primary!
Trust me, if my introverted daughter can do it, yours will be fine too!

My daughter is at the end of Year 7 now, and only went up to secondary school with about 5 others from primary including one close friend. She now has a few new friends and plays Roblox with them all, and is still in touch with one girl she knew throughout primary. Her close friend left the school but they still see and speak to each other regularly and we have her round the odd evening or weekend.

Me! There wasn’t many from my primary that went to my secondary and those that did didn’t like me - in fact two of them actively bullied me. All of my friends in secondary school I made in year 7, 8 and 9 - they are still my best friends today (and I left school in 2007)

Thanks for the replies. Yes we're in Scotland, DD turned 12 last month.

My DD did. It wasn't until the end of year 7. Most of the year was a pretty rough ride but she is year 10 now and still close to the friends she made at the end of year 7. Secondary school has a much larger pool, it's easier for children to find their people.

In both my DCs years, the kids who made new friends easily were originally more worried, either because they'd struggled at primary or knew nobody jn their class. It's actually easier to start high school with a clean slate than with friends you are committed to but who don't quite fit. If there is drama in that group already, she's going to find it much easier to be set free than to be hanging in there. Good luck to her, my DC was in a similar boat and I was so impressed with the transition teacher, it's like she could match make with future friends!

So that's DD finished primary. All the kids were piped out of the building in twos, all except DD who walked out on her own 🙄 which is a reflection of how she's viewed by her friends lately - an afterthought.
DD said after that she's glad to be done with primary and tbh so am I, i just hope this new chapter in her life will bring her some happier times

I’m sorry it’s painful to watch.

But honestly so few friendships survive primary except possibly in very rural areas. Most kids form new friendships.

Secondary is a new chapter.