AIBU to feel expected to help everyone during the hot weather?

[TooHotToCare]

I think I’ve been assigned a role i wasn’t aware of ?
Extreme weather help and support service ???

First thing this morning I had DP ex ask can I collect the dc as their school is shutting early and she’s working as is dp. I can’t - I also have to work (but wfh so it seems that it’s assumed I can just have a break when I fancy). I said I’m happy to have them here but I can’t actually collect them so I suggested to dp he uses his lunch hour to collect them and drop them home and I’d look after them as they will watch a film quietly. So that worked out ok.

My dm called me to say she needs a fan, i had to step by step explain to her how to order one same day delivery from Argos and it took me all of my lunch hour !!!!

MIL wanted me to drop shopping off as it’s too hot for her to go out and ‘you’re only 10 mins walk away’ yes true but the nearest shop is a 20 min walk and again I NEED TO WORK !!!!!!

I literally finished at 330pm , made the dc a snack and started sorting the paddling pool out for them to cool down in and dm calls again because she now wants me to drop her shopping off too and I’ve had to talk her through Tesco whoosh.

Im too hot for this !!!!! Why don’t people organise things better in advance !!!

Stop engaging with the nonsense

Tell them all to piss the piss off!

Wise words from Liz in Motherland, which I try to live by!

Weaponised incompetence! They take up so much of your time so that next time you think it will be easier to just do it

I’ve just been to Tesco where it was beautifully cool (and empty) and during the walk back to the car, the sun did not incinerate me. Why can’t people go shopping?

Tell the them to do it themselves.

Exactly. People can expect and ask. You can’t control that. You don’t have to engage, though. Don’t answer the phone during work hours.

This.

Until I joined mumsnet I didn't realise that people don't actually like people pleasers.

They can get taxis to the supermarket.

I always see people going home in taxis laden with shopping.

They are using you because they're too tight to pay for taxi or online shopping.

Stop answering the phone during work hours (unless it’s the school). You have to put a wall up as if you are in an office building. I had a friend who started up a business from home but said her house was the unofficial after school gathering spot, so she ended up finishing her work in the evenings. I said if you can’t stop them coming over rent an office. Which she did in the end and it was so much better. Now you have to do the same in your house: when you’re in there you are out of reach.

You need to find the do not disturb setting on your phone cause this is stilly. Nice that you helped but Jesus you are working!!

First post nails it. These are adult humans presumably. Let them sort themselves out - you are working. And don’t encourage this shit by engaging, jeez. I work from home a lot, I get it, dont encourage these people that think you can just dip in and out when you feel like it (I wish). No, darling sis, I can’t take my aunt to an appt no one told me about that’s about an hour away, ffs, I’m working..

Leave your phone on Do Not Disturb during working hours. Check it quickly during breaks in case of any school emergencies.

If your MiL rings, don;t answer until late in the evening, and explain you have just clocked off work.

People used to pester me for 'drop everything and do my bidding' favours all the time because I WFH years before it was common. After a while I just ignored the phone and always got back to them much later, to say, 'Sorry I was working/in a meeting' which was usually true. anyway.

They are all taking the piss and as a fellow mother (because it’s always mothers/women) who works from home sometimes, people seem to think you are fair game to act as their PA. A very firm ‘I can’t, I’m working’ is all that’s required.

Stop answering /looking at your phone when you are working?

I would of got them to transfer the money & ordered the fan /shopping etc.
Or I might not of done it. I would maybe have used the excuse I didn't see the message , couldn't have my phone on at work or not be seen on my phone too much cos of work.
Don't keep saying yes though and stretching yourself too thin .
Don't keep saying that you can have dc when you are working if you can't.
Set up mil /dm with shopping apps, chat gpt how to use it and send them instructions then tell them its up to them to figure it out.
Take care its too hot to do all this.
Lots of love and luck op!