Not to allow Ex to be present at our baby's birth

[mothcatcher]

I am separated from my husband. We have three other children,he visits erratically once or twice a week and doesn't offer any practical help.
He is apparently living at the home of one of his relations, but has refused so far to give me his contact details - saying that his mobile no is enough.
I'm not trying to punish him by not allowig him to be present. It is just that I know he doesn't care about me or my best interests. Frankly the prospect terrifies me.

AIBU?

I agree with everyone else - dont have him there. Where are you in the country? Maybe one of us could help you if you dont have anyone else? Please look after yourself in labour.

actually i would let him, i had problems with my ex p's but at the end of the day my ds now asks me who was at his birth so its nice to say his daddy was, so with my ex p when dd was born i told him to come as i wanted to think of the baby first and its nice for everyone. but id make his step out at the gory bits if you feel uncomfortable. i ahd my mum with e too ith ds

like spicemonster says, tell him to piss off.

call him when it's over.

or just text 'done' to his mobile.

Fathers have no right to be present at the birth. The mother gets to choose precisely whom she wants with her (if at all).

What is it with these men who think they can pick and choose what part of their responsibilities they will perform, but demand all the rights of a father???

Choose another birth partner and tell him he waived his right to be there when he left you with three children.

Where abouts do you live? I am sure there would be a willing mner to help out!

Quite right Freckle.

YANBU at all - my dd's was a useless fecker and he wasn't at her birth as he was with his girlfriend - he arrived 30 mins too late - lucky for me my mum was there although she was so not my chosen birthpartner!!!! she was however great cared purely about me and that was just what i needed!!!

yeah great idea romy7
when baby's born text exdp with baby's name[you choose] and time and weight!!

of course YANBU!

He should be offering to do something useful like looking after the other children. You have the right to choose who you want. you are the one having the baby.