AIBU to think DH’s illness is just sun and a hangover?

[Toomuchfuninthesun]

Name changed for this as could be outing.

I am frustrated with DH and I think he thinks IABU for not being more sympathetic. He has been away for two nights returning today from a trip with FIL. We have a holiday home in UK and they had a bit of a boys trip - enjoying sunshine, world cup footie on the TV and drinks.

I spoke with him yesterday, first he had called whilst he was away (though he was in regular text contact) and at 5pm it was clear he and FIL were absolutely rat arsed and had had too much sun. Like bright red faces, despite assurances they'd been using the kids factor 50. Anyway, I said carbs and water are your friends and told them they would feel better for an early night. Thought daft gits and nothing more.

My mum and dad helped with childcare for our 2dc whilst he was away (pick ups from school and watching until 7ish); they volunteered and we're happy to spend time with kids. 1 child AuDHD (high rate care and mobility/ blue badge for context) I did evening routine, bedtime, overnight and morning/ drop off with them.

I work FT, long hours often in very senior professional role which included some late night and early calls around the time he was away; non-issue, I knew this in advance. He came in today all fine whilst my parents and his FIL; even a little amorous when saying hello etc. had to politely decline and get back to work (I WFH permanently with extensive travel).

I come down early from work today to try and make most of sun with kids and him and he is now collapsed across the couch, telling me he thinks there's something seriously wrong and it could be linked to (minor routine) surgery he had in November last year. I give him dioralyte, sparkling water, paracetamol and say it's likely delayed hangover and too much sun. AIBU?

You should have checked with the thermometer before saying he had a temperature as most people will feel hot right now.. there’s a heatwave! He’s hungover and being annoying by the sounds of it.. what a twat!

Haha, are you in my house??

Surprisingly, it's gotten stronger with a small rioja (hair of the dog much?!) 🙄

Disaster averted 🙄🙄

Sorry if I wasn't clear, I was saying he said he had a temp.

I've had children who have had febrile seizures from temperatures so I know what they feel like to touch. He was nothing like that and thermometer confirmed that

abdo wise - the key is "guarding" which is basically when you prod the sore bit the muscles involuntary go into spasm - then if you prod and let go and it hurts even more that is "rebound" - either of those and the answer is A&E

2% of people have "second appendix" called a meckels diverticulum

along with "when you hear hoof beats, don't think .... Zebras!"

If he’s too poorly to spend time with the DC that he hasn’t seen for days, then he’s too poorly to watch the football and drink Rioja 🙄

At least it's too hot for the dressing gown of doom 😁

I got too much sun on Friday & felt rotten on Saturday, I can't imagine how crap I'd have been feeling with a hangover added to the mix.

he is now collapsed across the couch, telling me he thinks there's something seriously wrong and it could be linked to (minor routine) surgery he had in November

i burst out laughing when I got to that bit. And I say that as someone who’s often unwell myself, with the result that I tend to go into hypochondriac overdrive at the slightest thing.

He might cry wolf once too often.

But I’m glad he’s feeling a little bit better. He might be up to a little snack later on, if you could manage it for him? 🙄

And yet....he is.

OP, this is known as the Dressing gown of Doom. It's a well known phenomena on here. God forbid he got pissed and forgot his sun cream. It's odd how a long sleep and no childcare or housework cures this sort of problem.

I've just googled this and there are so many threads about it!

I drank too much in the sun at an event on Sunday. Still absolutely red and hot and dehydrated today. Men are ridiculous babies. Obviously if you get pissed outside in the heat you’re going to be hot, fevery, possibly itchy and bitten, dehydrated, achy kidneys, headache etc.

If you as an adult choose to do it you need to then have a hydration tablet in water, eat some protein, down water/lucozade/phizz and have some salty crisps. Tell him to stop being a twat, he needs lucozade, dippy eggs, a bottle of green juice and a cold shower.

No, it doesn't need a new battery. That's not how they work. Drinking alcohol now is not how to rehydrate. 🙄

I'd tell him I'm worried about his liver after such heavy drinking and maybe he should quit drinking alcohol and have liver function tests run.

He sounds like he's got a problem with alcohol.

Sounds like a lazy hungover git

Most people are a bit fooked after a weekend away drinking. Can he owe you an extra night off? I assume he isn’t doing it every weekend.

does sound exaggerated. I thought I had a 2 day hangover 15yrs ago, and it turned into an appendix rupture, so not always good to just assume it’s a hangover, but I was literally on the floor in agony, and still managed to care for my own kids until the point I drove myself to A&E

Omg what a man baby. Why are you pandering to this OP!?

If he has got a swollen liver for whatever reason. Why is he drinking alcohol?.

Surely not a good thing.

I’m a direct communicator so I’d say it’s been a tough few days here while you’ve been drinking in the sun, so either you are ill enough to need medical help for your hangover, or I’m going to bed while you take over with the kids. There is no version where I carry on cheerily solo parenting while you have a moan and park yourself in front of the tv.

Is he wearing the dressing gown of doom?

pmsl at dressing gown of doom. Haven’t heard that before

he’s hungover and prob a little sunstroke

if that poorly to play /see his kids then he wouldn’t manage tv esp footie

amazing now hair of the dog helps 🙄

Basically, he's had a fantastic time away while you've been left to get on with it and juggle it all - stressful job, children, special needs of children - and he's come back wiped out from his fantastic time and taken the absolute piss while doing it. Too poorly to step up now that h's back but not too unwell to ponder watching the football alone quietly and drink some more. You couldn't fucking make it up ...

I’m no doctor but I’d also gauge that his current condition is highly unlikely to be related to having his appendix out last year. Much more likely to be a combination of too much sun & booze. Full heatstroke can be serious, but even a bit too much sun exposure can make someone feel rough, especially combined with a hangover.

I also think it’s pretty poor that he’s trying to link it to his previous legitimate health problem. That’s really manipulative.

@Toomuchfuninthesun Hope he has gained a conscience and is now pitching in. I think you need a break this weekend whilst he does most of the parenting.