AIBU to feel like a fraud using a white stick?

[Boxingshibes]

Have posted in work but would like more responses.
To sum up I currently have limited sight.
I can see about 6ft in front of me clearly.
But also need glasses for computer and reading. Separate glasses.
I had cataract surgery 1 year ago but I so regret it.
I was -9.50 but now I can't actually see long distance.
Anyway my aibu
My dr has told me to use a white stick ( nhs gave it to me) but I feel like a fraud.

Aibu - you are not blind- you are just pretending.

Ainbu- medical advice told you to use it

Do you think using the white stick will benefit you?

You’re not a fraud if you’re doing what your Dr told you, and the stick helps you manage getting out and about

Why do you feel it’s ok to use glasses but not a stick? Both are aids you use for sight. If you need it then use it.

Use it. You wouldn’t tell someone hearing impaired but not d/Deaf that they shouldn’t use hearing aids or put the subtitles on. You’re not a fraud at all!

Most blind people have some level of vision and using a white cane is an aid to make life easier. It will make your life easier so you should use it.

of all the things someone could use that they don’t need I can’t imagine a white cane is high up the list

I don’t really understand people who need further validation after being medically assessed and treated. Why do you need strangers to vote on whether or not you need a medical aid provided to you, by medics?

So the technical term for blindness these days is visual impairment. There is a huge range amongst visually impaired people as there are a whole host of conditions affecting sight. A very small percentage can't see anything at, some can see light/dark, some have distorted or partially blocked vision, some can't make out detail. As you have been given a white stick to help you to move safely when you have limited vision, albeit not as bad as some, you are not a fraud. It's fine.

The stick will also make your difficulties obvious to others which would be of huge benefit in the event of something dangerous happening or just allowing you more time to do something.

Exactly. I'm a teacher of the deaf and we have teachers of the VI on our team too. I've come to understand that part of the reason for using a cane is so that other people know you're vision impaired too and make reasonable adjustments.

Interestingly, the technical term for deafness isn't hearing impaired as that's considered too negative. But impairment is the term when it's vision.

And it’s a visual aid for others - it tells them to give you more space and not crowd you out / or expect you to move out of their way.

In a similar way after getting a metal knee - the physio urged me not to give up using a stick too soon (because it was a visual aid - people in crowded spaces were giving me more room as I couldn’t physically move out of their way if they walked into or “at” me and they were otherwise expecting me to get out of their way.

What is the vision currently in both your eyes? When you had your cataract op, did they fit a corrective lens? If your doc and visual impairment team have recommended the use of a white cane (and trained you how to use it) I would use it if it makes you feel more comfortable. Many visually impaired people use them, even if not all the time. You don't need to to be registered blind. I'm partially sighted and use mine in the dark or when I'm somewhere unfamiliar. There's no shame in it - it's just a helpful tool.

I know it's just obviously at home I'm fine but travelling on trains and tubes is very difficult.

I took the stick yesterday as I was travelling to London. I must admit I was helped by staff and on tube got a seat but I did get very confused at Victoria station as I couldn't see which lift to get . It was scary.

I think im just angry with myself. I dont want to ask for help.

My little one is registered blind, he has some vision but it's not useful vision. His is a CVI which means the neurological pathways between his (healthy looking) eyes and his brain don't work so although he 'sees' his brain can't interrupt the signals. Lots of people tell me he 'doesn't look blind' but he is so I do understand a little of your frustrations. Use the white stick if you find it helpful and sod what strangers think.

Accept the help and book assistance where available - it's there for that very reason. I appreciate it's hard when you're used to independence, but try to view the support as maintaining your independence x

Take whatever helps - you’ve been dealt a shit hand and are visually impaired to a pretty large degree- you are not a fraud

I can sympathise with where you’re coming from. I have progressive MS and advised to use walking stick and have recently been granted a blue badge.

Part of me can’t really accept the need to use these. I tell myself I’m fine at home - even though “fine” is shuffling through the house, clinging onto furniture, then being too nervous to leave the house in case I fall over.

When I was talking to the union rep about possible reasonable adjustments at work, she did say that “imposter syndrome” was a thing that people learning to live with new conditions sometimes go through and to be more willing to accept offers of help.

It is difficult though, as accepting help feels like more of an acknowledgment of losing independence

If it helps you and makes your life easier, of course you should use it.
And you deserve help OP. Would you expect a person with a broken leg not to use crutches? Or someone with hearing loss not to use a hearing aid? These things exist for a reason.

This is exactly what a symbol cane is for! It sounds like you are understandably finding it hard to adjust to your sight loss and needing help but please don't feel you don't deserve assistance.

I can walk a reasonable distance and even run a little.

I still use a wheelchair when I need to. And I use a stick on public transport (I have a condition that fluctuates rapidly and unpredictably)

If it means you can get out more safely or live more of your life then you most certainly aren't a fraud for using it.

However, I found it took me quite a few test runs before I stopped feeling weird and self conscious and guilty!

This in a nutshell.

If you think it would help you then use it.

Visual impairments are very varied in presentation and the implications/impact for the person and what they are doing at the time. From distance, tunnel or peripheral and including quality of vision through those “domains”.

It’s not at all uncommon for people who use a cane to have some vision and for that which they have to also be impacted by environmental factors (such as lighting, distance requirements, time of day etc) which can fluctuate.

Use the white stick if it helps you.

What was the deal with the cataract surgery? Did it turn out not to be the problem or did something go wrong?

I understand.

I have recently become an ambulatory wheelchair user - i can walk but I have terrible fatigue and sometimes it enables me to have said out/ go to places I couldnt otherwise.

I still feel ashamed and fraudulent that I 'don't need it'.

Someone helpfully told me to keep in mind that its just a tool, that it and the blue badge aren't making me disabled, theyre making me more able to cope with the disability.

The same goes for your cane.i do get hope you feel though 💐

OP. If you travel often on the trains, download the transreport passenger assistance app and ask for assistance getting on and off your train. Basically you'll get a dedicated person to help you get to and from the train and exit. While the system isn't 100% foolproof, I often use the train and book assistance (I'm not VI though). In the past year I have done over 100 journeys and I can think of 3 occasions when things have gone wrong. I've stuck a few screenshots of the app so you can see the 'profile' I have- there are loads of options to choose from and the types of assistance you can request.

Total gamechanger for me. It means I dont have to ring people up and discuss access arrangements every time I want to get on a train..

A white stick means you are visually impaired, not blind. You have every right to use it if it helps you. Try it for a while and see.

The surgery worked but the lenses now are cloudy, bacteria I think so I now need laser surgery or new lenses.
In a way I wish I'd never had it done but if I'd left the cataracts it would be worse