AIBU to worry about how we’re doing our marriage ceremony?

[NorthernLass50]

My partner and I are in our early 50s and have been together 14 years, no children.
We’ve always been happily unmarried but have decided for practical/legal/financial reasons now and for the future, to get married.
We didn’t want the 18 month wait for the simple registry office so have gone for the ceremony room simple service with a pub lunch afterwards.

We’ve intentionally kept our guest list to only 30 people (including us) - very close family (all his as both my parents are dead and my distant cousins who I very rarely see live the other side of the county so I have no close family nearby) and decades long friends.

For us, it’s really not a ‘wedding’as but a simple legal service followed by a very small gathering - we do want to enjoy the day obviously.

I feel guilty about some friends I haven’t invited but they are either people I see less of and are not as close to any more or friends through work who’ve I’ve known for much less time.

Maybe I’m overthinking this….
Am I being unreasonable to worry and how is best to handle it?

thanks for reading

It’s your day so do whatever works for you. True friends will understand if they don’t make the cut and they will just be happy for you.

Enjoy your day!

Your wedding - your choices - don’t feel compelled to turn it into something you don’t want.

you do you and enjoy your special day.

Just do what works for you. Maybe don’t put it on social media.

The vote is fairly evenly split at the moment, which makes me wonder if we are interpreting the AIBU question differently ?

It is entirely up to you how you arrange your day and who you invite. Much more so as you have been together so long, and also as you are in your 50s. There isn't the pressure of being in the middle of a whirl of weddings where you feel you ought to invite people because they invited you, and you don't have the whole things of "being expected to" invite lots of family members, let alone friends of your parents.

I mean, by inviting 28 guests, it does take it away from it being "a simple legal service", but everyone has to draw a line somewhere - even if you were inviting 100 guests, there will be people on the edge of that number that you would have to make decisions about. It is the nature of having a finite number.

I didn't understand the voting but your wedding sounds perfect I think people are very understanding when its a small wedding. I wouldn't expect to be invited unless I was a parent, child, sibling, grandparent or very close friend

That’s what I thought. My partner isn’t on SM anyway and I genuinely don’t like having my photo taken.
I think it would be ok to ask guests not to post online and to keep it private.

I only had 5 people at my civil partnership ceremony (COVID times but could have had more). Most people didn't care and were happy but we had some people moaning about it and making a fuss (when this was the exact opposite of what I wanted!). Just do what you want to do. It's your day after all.

We had 17 guests at our wedding by choice.
The perfect day ❤️

Yabu to worry.

I’m getting married with 15 people there, and even that feels too many to me. Have the day YOU want.