Talk to me about primary school...

[kealia98x]

My eldest starts school this year. Very nervous and he is more reserved, doesn't like crowds loud noises etc. I am on the spectrum and he is under general pediatric team to try and get the process started to see if he is on spectrum too.

Im feeling positive in a sense of the routine will be good for us all, he does attend pre school already 3 days while I work part time but obviously this is 5 days same drop off pick up, school holidays etc. It'll be very structured and I think this aspect will be good

Im hoping his confidence may build too and he'll come out of his shell a bit more. He is going with a few nursery friends which im glad about

I do feel a pang of sadness which is silly. I have a younger child who's 2 and I feel like id been stuck in a depression after having them up until recently? I still struggle but now I have horrendous guilt that I had a child when DS was only 2 and I suffered i feel like the worst mum and that times ran away from me

Please fill me with some positivity for primary school?

He is attending 2nd option as we didnt get 1st :( so that's on my mind a little too

My son really struggled with preschool - in his words "there's too many people". It took us all year to build up to four mornings a week. But for reception, he's loved it from the start. Zero issues, zero "I'm not fine" statements at breakfast, and by summer term was asking if he could stay at the after school craft club because he wasn't ready to come home. Good luck!

My son really struggled at nursery school. He was pretty much mute there and never seemed to make any friends. I was quite concerned about him. From the first day at primary school, it was like he was a different person. He thrived in the environment - he even had a line in the school nativity play in his first term! He’s in Year 2 now and I went on his school trip today and watching him interact with other people, him and his friends playing, him answering his teacher’s questions was just brilliant when I think back to what he was like before he started school. I know he sometimes finds it a bit noisy but the school are really good at recognising that and finding quiet spots for people when they need a break .

2 responses providing me with a bit of relief thank you! I really hope he loves it. Im so scared I dont know why but also think it will be good!

Also bit down we didnt get our 1st choice. We're out of catchment by about 0.25 miles but its always full capacity! And we dont plan on moving yet etc

@kealia98xIf he’s going to nursery just fine, why will school be a massive challenge for him? When is he 5?

You seem a bit keen to label him. He’s different in your eyes but is anyone else talking to you about this? Could he just be a child that’s a bit more reserved? What’s wrong with that? The more you stick labels on a child, the more you think is wrong, and then it probably will be. I’d honestly chill out and be positive. Has he been for a try out session? Not all YR classes are challenging either. He knows other dc so that’s a bonus. My DD knew one child from nursery. I’d worry if you really get something to worry about but that might be nothing at all.

Hi. Not keen to label him at all! I didnt do a full back story on my intial post but concerns have been there since he was a toddler concerning milestones in general and now branching to what we see now.

Me and his key person and then HV spoke before a referral was made to get him on the pathway to be assessed!

Yes he may be shy and reserved but he has lots of sensory issues, has had milestones issues etc. I summarised things so my post wasn't massive, and if nursery/health visitor didnt agree or see it the referral wouldn't went ahead

And just to add, im sure my mother listened to comments when I was young about not getting me labelled ill grow out of it etc

I ended up with anorexia, anxiety and depression as a child/teen as I didnt understand why I felt different/didnt fit in and my mother always says she regrets not trying to get help earlier

So yes. I will see how the assessment goes and if he needs further help he will most certainly get it.

@kealia98x I didn’t say he would grow out of anything but you were not entirely clear about why he might be assessed, especially as he was successfully attending nursery. It’s fairly easy for parents to feel guilty by the way. We were expected to grow out of it years ago! That was a normal thing to think so it’s a shame when parents feel they are to blame.

It’s really no big deal. I would really try not to make your issues his issues.

I think if he is on the spectrum, school will be the best place as they will be able to support the referral process put in reasonable adjustments. He will learn so much in his first year the difference in them is amazing in their reception year!

Maybe you shouldn't assume I'm looking for a label when I did a short post regarding primary school and didnt do a full background on my son as its not that post.

And im not shaming my mother. I sympathise with her as she always said she wish she couldve gotten help earlier for me. I am just mentioning the fact that I will watch very closely and see how an assessment goes

Again, professionals have referred him, not me.

What a ridiculous and horrible take. You have read my post which gave 0.05% insight to my life and you think you can judge?

You dont know the extent of what ive been through as a person and as a mother. Bore off to another thread and take your bad attitude there.

Primary schools are usually very good at including children with a wide range of needs and differences, making adjustments for all their needs.
I'm not sure why you are worried about DS attending your 2nd choice school, if you visited before making it your 2nd choice after your nearest school. If you are invited to visit before the end of this term, do take up the opportunity. It will help you both to know where your child is going to spend his time.