AIBU to stop neighbour children destroying my son's toys and things?

[Hotandannoyed]

Hi everyone! I need to have some perspective if this is normal or I’m in fact not normal?
My son is 5. Last week he made friends/ started to hang out with neighbours kids, they are brothers 9 and 5. At first I was welcoming because they seemed quite nice and because my DS is an only child the thought of him having some company seemed nice but now I’m not so sure.
The eldest one at first seemed nice and polite. Before he entered to house he took of his shoes, if he wanted to ask something he said “ excuse me”, etc. They been hanging out almost every day either outside our back door or just generally outside ( we live on a quiet cul de sac). I was welcoming them to play with any DS toys as long as they are respectful but the last days they are proper pissing me off I’m sorry!
So in the last days the oldest one has:
• broke DS plastic cup outside deliberately. They were having a water fight and he just threw it on the ground on purpose
• Destroyed DS crayons in the water
• poured out the bubbles and smashed the tube
• wanted to take the Jenga. I said sure, insted of playing/building something he taped all the pieces together and threw them in the water making a “boat”
• without asking went to the kitchen and started pumping liquid for dishes into the cup. Got about 10 full pumps before I realised what he’s doing.
Im sure there’s more but that was on the top of my head!

Is this normal? Is this what 9 year old kids do? Just destroy everything? I don’t have any experience because DS is an only child but fck me!
First I was happy that he has made some friends, especially the youngest brother also being 5 but now I’m just pissed off seeing them?
Am I overreacting? Should I just chill and let DS have some fun?

This is really good advice too. It’s not ok that he’s in effect damaging the toys and rendering them useless (presumably) for said purpose and this can be raised gently. Just think he’s a bit more imaginative in his play and yoy need sturdier materials. Sounds like outdoor junk modelling, fort building etc, all good things to do.

I don’t know how much experience of 9YOs you have but that is really abnormal behaviour. I wouldn’t have him in the house again. If you want to frame it in a way with the mum that potentially still allows the 5YOs to have a friendship I’d say he’s too grown up, was bored with the little ones, was lashing out and you don’t really have suitable play things for that age but you’ll happily have the youngest to play again as they get on really well. Or something to that effect.

Making jenga into a boat sounds really fun to be honest. Sounds to me like the 9 year old is trying to impress and entertain the smaller kids.

I'd be fine with this stuff but I like messy play and whatever. Destroying books or an expensive or loved toys would not be cool but crayons - I guess they were making potions or whatever. I wouldn't love it but sometimes these things happen.

Regardless sounds like you aren't fine with messy play in which case don't have them round.

I think the jenga/crayons/dish soap thing is probably curiosity without thinking through/realising consequences - did he stop without any fuss when you asked him to?
I don't think it's necessarily "bad" behaviour, because I think that depends on the intent/motivation, but still exhausting and the way he plays doesn't marry up with the way your DC wants his things being used so YWNBU to put a stop to it.

This - the 9 year is too rough and there's too much of an age gap, just let him play with the 5 years old who hopefully won't break all his toys otherwise find other friends for your DS.

No, obviously some children have additional needs, but most don't do this.

I have 4 DC with SEN and they don't do that.