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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Traumatised by the news

145 replies

StrangePineapple · Today 08:39

This week I’ve been struggling immensely with rumination on current events.
I literally feel traumatised with the darkness of it all and will have to take a break from the news for a while to recover I think 😞
AIBU to think that news stories these days include too much detail on certain cases and it’s just not necessary, like they could easily express the weight of the story without going into such detail?
I’ve seen a few posts on here where people have expressed distress over horrible news stories and people reply with even more detail or talking about similar cases, why add to their sorrow?

OP posts:
HappyLouBella · Today 12:40

StrangePineapple · Today 12:33

Yes you’re totally right. I feel a lot of guilt about this: they have to live it so I should be able to at least read about it. I was hoping there might be some people here who work in those sorts of fields to give advice about how to compartmentalise and not be consumed by grief whenever a terrible news story pops up.

Sorry to repeat myself, but I encourage you to look up vicarious trauma (and I encourage those who believe you can't be traumatised by another person's trauma to have a look too!)

Your body's stress response is being activated. If you are looking for ideas on how to manage that, have a look into circle of control and different grounding techniques.

MrsPinkSky · Today 12:40

StrangePineapple · Today 12:33

Yes you’re totally right. I feel a lot of guilt about this: they have to live it so I should be able to at least read about it. I was hoping there might be some people here who work in those sorts of fields to give advice about how to compartmentalise and not be consumed by grief whenever a terrible news story pops up.

I feel a lot of guilt about this: they have to live it so I should be able to at least read about it.

This sounds very much like you're putting yourself front and centre stage of other people's hardship/traumatic events.

There's no 'should' about it.

Either read about it or don't. I expect they'll be too busy to care.

You starting an internet thread with all the sad faced emojis will make zero difference.

StrangePineapple · Today 12:55

Newsunflower · Today 10:43

I think this is such an important topic! don’t watch the news and I actually think I it’s really not a good idea to watch the news. It often means witnessing something that is truly traumatic, and seeing these things over and over again, day after day. It’s bound to affect us.

I was having just this conversation with a friend recently, she and her DP watch the news every day and both are becoming really depressed and she knows it is linked. She said she thinks she should be fine, because previous generations lived through the war and they were ok. I pointed out that they weren’t actually witnessing the aftermath of horrific bombings etc in graphic detail day after day, because they didn’t have televisions. They would just get a summary of the main events from the radio or a newspaper, and that would be enough.

I do follow the news, by reading a newspaper, and even with that I try not to become obsessed and not to spend too much time on it. It’s so much healthier I think to try to give our time and attention to people and events going on around us, rather than to global events which are largely or entirely out of our hands.

Yes i definitely think overconsumption of news/information vs maybe checking in once a week is a big part of it.

OP posts:
gamerchick · Today 13:00

angeltop · Today 09:17

I voted YABU, because you could have just refused to listen, read, watch.

Same here.

Turn it off, you'll feel better for it. You have control over this.

I keep half an eye on Al-Jazeera to keep an eye on potential petrol rises, but I'll avoid UK news. They're all on competition with each other for views and as a species', humans are rubber neckers.

StrangePineapple · Today 13:04

ilovesooty · Today 10:43

I want to be as informed as I can be. I don't think it's the responsibility of news providers to protect people's anxiety, other to inform them that the upcoming segment contains distressing material so that people can avoid it. They already invariably do that.

Yes I think you’re probably right 🤔 I suppose I was mostly hoping people would come along with some advice on how to overcome my own faulty processing of disturbing information, so that it no longer takes such a hold of me when I receive it.

OP posts:
ShhhhhItsASurprise · Today 13:16

If you think about it, not so long back (and we haven’t evolved much since) we would have known what was going on in our own tribe/village and maybe the one over the hill/river/fields but certainly not thousands of miles away. It’s too much and damaging when we are helpless to do anything about any of it.

Narrow your focus. Keep up with issues in your local area, and then in time try broadening it just a bit. This is the approach I’ve taken for years and it’s far healthier.

StrangePineapple · Today 13:18

MaryBeardsShoes · Today 10:50

Sorry but people need to stop throwing the word “trauma” and “traumatised” about. You’ve been upset by it, and rightly so, that’s a rational reaction. To say you are “traumatised” is a bit insulting to the actual victims.

Yes I think this is a good point, I think I jumped to that term because of a lack of emotional/psychological vocabulary, which I need to work on.
I’m not sure what the word would be for what I’m experiencing, it feels a bit more than upset as at times I have been feeling physically sick to the point of retching and having to hold back tears (when in public anyway, when alone I have been literally sobbing truth be told) when thinking about certain recents events. This is more extreme than I’ve experienced before and I was hoping people could shed some light on it or share their own experiences, to feel less alone maybe?

OP posts:
ithappenstootherfamilies · Today 13:20

StrangePineapple · Today 13:18

Yes I think this is a good point, I think I jumped to that term because of a lack of emotional/psychological vocabulary, which I need to work on.
I’m not sure what the word would be for what I’m experiencing, it feels a bit more than upset as at times I have been feeling physically sick to the point of retching and having to hold back tears (when in public anyway, when alone I have been literally sobbing truth be told) when thinking about certain recents events. This is more extreme than I’ve experienced before and I was hoping people could shed some light on it or share their own experiences, to feel less alone maybe?

Seriously......

StrangePineapple · Today 13:21

ithappenstootherfamilies · Today 10:53

Or maybe just learn to put it on perspective and look at what the positives?

Look at what is going right in the world.

Its not about you.

Yes there is definitely strong evidence behind focusing one’s attention outwards being beneficial to one’s own mental health and wellbeing. I need to work on this and get out of my head more.

OP posts:
Mylastusernamewasbetter · Today 13:22

MrsPinkSky · Today 12:40

I feel a lot of guilt about this: they have to live it so I should be able to at least read about it.

This sounds very much like you're putting yourself front and centre stage of other people's hardship/traumatic events.

There's no 'should' about it.

Either read about it or don't. I expect they'll be too busy to care.

You starting an internet thread with all the sad faced emojis will make zero difference.

Its Mumsnet. People start threads about what shoes to wear to their neighbour's future step daughter in law's wedding reception in 2027, or if they are being unreasonable about their husband's soap preferences. And I'm here for all of it. I love s&b and I wander over to Telly Addicts occasionally, which is has a whole thread for spoilers of Corrie

A lot of us are really feeling shaken after a heavy few weeks of relentlessly awful horror in the news.

I really valued this thread. If you don't find it useful, scroll on by.

StrangePineapple · Today 13:31

MrsPinkSky · Today 10:54

These threads seem to pop up quite often from people who don't take responsibility for themselves.

If I don't want to see or hear depressing news in detail, I make sure don't.

As do millions of others I imagine.

Edited

I suppose, as others have pointed out, it feels as though we have a responsibility to victims to not look away. But balancing this with protecting our own mental health and taking care of our immediate surroundings is the hard part, for me at least. Something I’ll be working on moving forwards.
Just need to get over this most recent hump 😞 although it’s helped immeasurably to engage with people about this so I am thankful for every single one of these responses

OP posts:
MrsPinkSky · Today 13:35

StrangePineapple · Today 13:04

Yes I think you’re probably right 🤔 I suppose I was mostly hoping people would come along with some advice on how to overcome my own faulty processing of disturbing information, so that it no longer takes such a hold of me when I receive it.

Well considering you then went on to say

"it feels a bit more than upset as at times I have been feeling physically sick to the point of retching and having to hold back tears (when in public anyway, when alone I have been literally sobbing truth be told) when thinking about certain recents events."

My advice is to see your GP as soon as possible.

MrsPinkSky · Today 13:37

Mylastusernamewasbetter · Today 13:22

Its Mumsnet. People start threads about what shoes to wear to their neighbour's future step daughter in law's wedding reception in 2027, or if they are being unreasonable about their husband's soap preferences. And I'm here for all of it. I love s&b and I wander over to Telly Addicts occasionally, which is has a whole thread for spoilers of Corrie

A lot of us are really feeling shaken after a heavy few weeks of relentlessly awful horror in the news.

I really valued this thread. If you don't find it useful, scroll on by.

In what way should I find it 'useful'??

And don't tell people what to do.

This is a 'chat' forum, the clue is in the name.

ithappenstootherfamilies · Today 13:42

MrsPinkSky · Today 13:35

Well considering you then went on to say

"it feels a bit more than upset as at times I have been feeling physically sick to the point of retching and having to hold back tears (when in public anyway, when alone I have been literally sobbing truth be told) when thinking about certain recents events."

My advice is to see your GP as soon as possible.

My advice would be to get a bloody grip.

StrangePineapple · Today 13:46

ithappenstootherfamilies · Today 12:16

According to whom?
Where is your evidence?

Aha references yes! I should have come prepared. If you have the time, this one is a very interesting read:
Pritschet, L., Taylor, C.M., Cossio, D. et al. “Neuroanatomical changes observed over the course of a human pregnancy”

OP posts:
Mylastusernamewasbetter · Today 13:48

MrsPinkSky · Today 13:37

In what way should I find it 'useful'??

And don't tell people what to do.

This is a 'chat' forum, the clue is in the name.

When did I tell you what to do.

I have found it useful. I don't know if you found it useful, I think the op has found it helpful.

I have no idea what point you are trying to make and I won't be replying to you going forwards.

StrangePineapple · Today 13:54

Boreded · Today 12:19

So traumatised and ready for a break that you started a post about it? I mean…not exactly removing yourself from it are you

Yes I imagine it does seem a bit contradictory! I suppose I was looking for a human connection on the matter, without talking about and rehashing specific events (I was actually hoping no one would mention specifics) more focusing on the way in which it affected me and others emotionally.
It’s really helped quite a bit, even as a temporary distraction, as well as in facilitating a feeling of connection to others who have been able to relate. So I want you to know that I do appreciate you taking the time even if the issue I described doesn’t resonate with you.

OP posts:
StrangePineapple · Today 13:55

ithappenstootherfamilies · Today 12:23

Are you always so melodramatic?

Oh yes I have been known to be! I sometimes wonder if I should join my local community theatre group, perhaps that would help with my emotional processing 🤔

OP posts:
MrsPinkSky · Today 13:55

Mylastusernamewasbetter · Today 13:48

When did I tell you what to do.

I have found it useful. I don't know if you found it useful, I think the op has found it helpful.

I have no idea what point you are trying to make and I won't be replying to you going forwards.

When did I tell you what to do.

Christ and I thought my memory was bad 😳

"If you don't find it useful, scroll on by."

No-one has to find a thread 'useful' in order to post on it, otherwise the only people posting would be those with exactly the same problem they haven't managed to solve.

StrangePineapple · Today 13:59

HappyLouBella · Today 12:40

Sorry to repeat myself, but I encourage you to look up vicarious trauma (and I encourage those who believe you can't be traumatised by another person's trauma to have a look too!)

Your body's stress response is being activated. If you are looking for ideas on how to manage that, have a look into circle of control and different grounding techniques.

Thank you yes I have heard of it, but I will be looking further into it as I have a lot of inner conflict on these matters, and it would be helpful to know what exactly is going on with how my brain is processing things.

OP posts:
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