AIBU to let children get messy during play and outdoor learning?

[TheLivelyCat]

Messy children, as is children who have got messy by playing, not neglect.

I love taking my kids to places where they are allowed to get messy, my children covered in mud, sand, grass, paint, straw in there hair.......absolutely dose not bother me, in fact I see it as a fun day out, i dress my children in inexpensive clothes and deal with any stains. I allways say my children start the day clean, how they end the day is another matter.
however I've had comments made to them about getting messy when playing, or I see children coming out of school and the first thing said to them is about how messy they got during outdoor learning.

My 10 year old is starting to comment, as a few of her class friends will be upset if they get messy as they will be told off at home, in contrast to me, who pratactly encourages them to roll down the hills, jump in muddy puddles, make mud pies etc.

YABU, in that I should be teaching my children to keep neat and tidy, save me the extra work of washing etc.

YANBU- clothes, people, things wash at the end of the day, life/childhood is too short to be upset about mud.

I'm not sure why you're even asking? Do you honestly think anyone thinks it's unreasonable for children to play and be children?

Some of my best memories as a kid were me and my DB digging in our tiny garden looking for worms and bugs and getting oily 'helping' our dad fix the car and motorbike.

I think as long as dcs know when it's ok to get dirty and when they should stay clean it's fine

Well of course it's not unreasonable to let children get messy when they are playing - that's what practical, comfy play clothes are for. Literally no-one I know has their kids kitted out in 3-piece suits and prissy white frocks for going down the park.
However, they should also learn that its not OK to jump in a puddle in their new school shoes, be deliberately messy with food or start sloshing around the poster paints when they're dressed up ready for a wedding or party.
Kids can be kids and still learn to take appropriate care of their clothes, possessios and surroundings

Why would you be unreasonable i don't get it

My dd attended an outdoor nursery with a mud kitchen. Some days they would explore a creek. I used to pick her up with big towels ready to wrap around her so I wouldn’t get too dirty and the bath at home already run.

Messy play is good for children. I was not good at facilitating it myself, which is why I was very lucky to outsource it.

The reason I was wondering is, I overhear lots of parents telling their children off for getting messy, say at the park, or having mud o. Their school uniforms/coat ect. I had one of my daughters friends come over to me saying he mums going to be upset as her coat is muddy, shes year 5. Another family member of mine never let her child get messy, he panicked on day as he spilled his drink at a party saying dont tell my mum etc.

We always tell parents not to send children in their best clothes as they will get messy at nursery! Yesterday we had sand water and the mud kitchen on offer! One little girl looked like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards! Wellies full of water, mud and sand everywhere but she’d had such fun! I did apologise to mum at pick up and her mum was like I’d think she was ill if she wasn’t messy! It’s so sad when children are worried about getting dirty!

I think in that first example it's not totally unreasonable - year 5s are 10, old enough not to be rolling in mud (or to know to only do it in the right clothes), coats are expensive and not always easily washable, so I can understand a mum not wanting their child to ruin a coat.

On the whole I think messy play is a good thing, though neither of my kids were big fans - they're not super clean, but don't like the sensation of being muddy/dusty. But as someone else said, there is a time and a place.

Yes my kids got messy during play. They also had times when they couldn't get messy, uncles wedding, trips to the theatre. It's possible to have a balance

I do sigh a bit when my 8 year old comes out of school for the 4th day running in a filthy coat caked in mud because they've been rolling down the hill at break time. It's not that I don't want them to play and have fun but regularly having to wash and dry coats so they are fit to wear the next day isn't exactly something that sparks joy in my life. My children would never not do it though because of worry about what I would say though - perhaps that's the difference?

Not every parent has endless school uniform or the ability/time to wash and dry stuff overnight if it's needed for the next day.

By age 10 my two were growing out of messy play and starting to have a sense of time and place. Getting covered in sand at the beach, fine, ending up wet and muddy at school not fine because they’d be in wet muddy clothes in class. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want to wash and dry coats midweek because your child rolled in mud at school.

I also think it’s different being somewhere in clothes that don’t matter, I’ve repaired and replaced more school trousers than I care to think about because they’ve got holey knees from playing.