AIBU to feel humiliated after a senior manager left mid-presentation?

[Kelkelsho]

Today I had to attend (virtually) a sort of governance meeting which my senior manager was also attending. I was told before by my own manager he is quite ‘eccentric’. I had a 5 minute section which was last on the agenda and talked over a slide I had prepared. The manager had made reference half way through the meeting to being ahead of schedule and ‘getting time back’. I was about 3 minutes in to my part and he interrupted and said he was ‘touching cloth’ and was going to have to leave the meeting, he just exited the call. Most of the others on there laughed and I wrapped up my section.

I felt quite humiliated after that he left when I was mid sentence and didn’t even say sorry for leaving early. My manager afterwards said not to worry and that is just his personality and I shouldn’t over think it.

It’s still on my mind though. Do I just need to accept that he’s the senior manager and can do what he wants?

You should’ve asked him if he was turtled 😳 sorry, yes he was unprofessional. 🐢

He needs a poo

He sounds unprofessional but id just move on.

No one would use that as an excuse if it weren’t real, so I wouldn’t take it personally. Nothing to do with your presentation.

Ugh that's disgusting. You should definitely not be left feeling humiliated for a man who has no control over his bowels and no understanding of what's acceptable and appropriate communication towards his team about bodily functions.
I really don't see that this says anything about you, the content you were sharing or your delivery. Possibly others on the meeting were more used to his ways. Possibly they laughed from a shared sense of embarrassment (for him) or because they find it laughable that a senior manager behaves like that.

Talk to your Manager and ask for feedback on the presentation, you could say how Senior Manager's behaviour threw you as you weren't expecting that. See what they have to say about it.

I think that what he said is totally unacceptable in a business meeting and I'd probably make a complaint to HR! Gross 🤢

He must be bringing in a great deal of money to the company to get away with that type of bottom-of-barrel announcement.

@Kelkelsho why are you taking it so personally? He needed the toilet so had to dash. Sounds like he had diarrhoea both ends!

YANBU to think he was unprofessional and to think less of him because of it. YABU to feel humiliated or take it so personally. Though if it was important that he saw the presentation or backed you up after it or the like, you have reason to be really annoyed with him.

I can't believe YOU are embarrassed because someone that isn't you was busting for a shit?
Is it the crude way he he said it or was it that you expected him to clench until you naturally finished speaking?

There are times when you just gotta go, but there are professional ways to excuse yourself.

Can you imagine a woman doing that to a man? Public disrespect he will probably write off as banter. And if you complain you’ll be the trouble maker I suspect.

What an ignorant ignorant pig of a man.

this is absolutely disgusting behaviour

even to leave in the midst of

Eurgh that's gross. He's basically gone, to a room full of people "I'm desperate for a poo". He should be embarrassed. I suspect this is a "one day in the future he gets reported, and everyone goes - well yes, he was a very inappropriate man - but for now he gets called eccentric or a maveric" situation.
I'd try not to worry about it. It won't reflect on you at all, everyone is laughing because they're awkward and feel they should as he is the boss. If you have to work closely with him at any point, I'd look for another job. You could probably raise a grievance saying it was uncomfortable and too much information from a senior manager, and that would be reasonable but I also can't see him being sacked/removed over it, or changing his behaviour- so I'd be pragmatic about it, personally, and just ignore.

It’s not a phrase I would use myself but how long was the governance meeting? I’ve been in these things before which go on for 3 or 4 hours without a break and at times you do just have to excuse yourself. My colleagues would probably say they were going for a bio break or going to wash their hands but it would be a formulation which everyone understood to mean it was to use the loo.

As your section was last and only 5 minutes he might get have thought he could get through it even though he’d needed the bathroom for some time but suddenly realised he absolutely couldn’t. At least you know it wasn’t because the presentation was lacking in some way or that you weren’t important enough, just a bodily emergency which needed to be handled. If he’s had a petit mal seizure or suddenly vomited would you have felt equally disrespected?

That's minging but I wouldn't feel humiliated. I'd be embarrassed for him and his lack of basic social skills.

It sounds completely horrendous, and I would be similarly mortified to hear such a thing in the middle of my presentation but for now there is nothing you can do, so you probably have to let it go. It is certainly not a reflection on you. Personally I wouldn't work in an environment where that was acceptable a moment longer than I had to.

Wow I’ve never heard that. I genuinely would have no idea what was meant if someone said that to me.

OP that’s appalling. Please give feedback somewhere, don’t know where though.

That’s unprofessional of him and he ought to be ashamed

That. Is. Disgusting.

Agree with this

It's absolutely disgusting and your feelings are perfectly understandable but old senior men can generally behave like absolute trash in a professional environment and get away with it.

Especially where women and minority groups are present.

What are your goals? If you're new to the workplace just do the minimum work if you think he's around. Think about your own life and nice stuff away from the world of pooey old men.

Hopefully you can avoid this freak, but if you find the workplace is toxic overall and there's an established culture of humiliating women make an exit plan and/or quiet quit.

Take maximum sick leave before you go. No-one rewards you for being conscientious.

Put yourself first. Don't make too much effort in presentations, just a few buzzwords. Often it's who you know not what you know. Collect LinkedIn contacts.

Workplace allies help you if your face fits for them, not if your presentations are good or not. See below for ideas.

My company hired a senior manager last year who wasn't a good fit for the team - gave people nicknames without permission, phoned people on their days off, skipped the chain of command to get people doing things for him, was aggressively enthusiastic and apparently on one occasion yelled at someone for not meeting a deadline. I think in public everyone would have politely said things like your manager said - that's just his personality, don't take it personally etc.
Employee satisfaction dropped in his team (our company does quarterly surveys), there was an anonymous feedback session for lower level employees to find out why and he was gone within a couple of days.
I think I'm very lucky with where I work but also, every company should do this - the atmosphere has gone back to how it was, people aren't quitting, the same amount of work gets done without the unnecessary stress. He's not missed.

Tell him next time that is too much information and just excuse yourself and leave- that kind of thing is unacceptable from anyone.

I'm amazed that some people make it to managerial level. On Friday I went into the works fridge to get my can of drink out. My boss laughed and said 'you've been xxx-ed'. No apology. It's made all the more irritating by the fact she earns 3× what I do

Doesn’t touching cloth mean you need a poo? Wtf…?!

Desperate for toilet/turtle's head.
I wonder if he did have a genuine medical need to go?
Still could have said something like sorry when leaving, but there are people who do need to get to the toilet urgently.

Do you work for Donald Trump?

(Actually no- he wouldn't use a euphemism)