To give up buying nieces bday/ Xmas presents?

[KPlum]

Looking for advise regarding the below issue, please be kind 🙏

I have 2 nieces who I don’t see a lot off (not really close to their dad my brother and find SIL very selfish) I have tried to make an effort to see them but it didn’t get reciprocated with my son (only child) so gave up bothering.
We tend to buy Christmas and birthday presents which are passed between my mum to pass on, i made effort to take gifts around on birthdays and Xmas eve but never got the effort back so again gave up.

Recently it’s been my nieces birthdays (3 weeks apart) so made an effort youngest is into dolls so bought a baby born feeding chair, previously for Xmas got her a generation doll which my SIL suggested so not cheap items and the oldest I got expensive Lego sets which she asked for. When it comes to my sons birthday who is significantly older who I ask for money for but just get given the same cheap crap like stuff from Aldi toy aisle like slime sets etc which is still gathering dust on the floor in the gift bag. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but it seems like no effort is being made to get him something he likes ie he’s into Lego, Pokemon cards etc. Feel like just saying not to bother anymore as I spend quite a bit, make an effort wrapping, nice gift bags whereas it’s not reciprocated at all, thoughts?

Even when kids don’t say thank you they do sometimes remember you as someone who gave them lovely presents.

however, I think if the lack of reciprocation is bothering you then you should dial down your presents. Do whatever your conscience is happy with.

You’ve already posted this exact post before not that long ago - either that or copied someone else’s post word for word!

No brainer
what is weird that you have been doing this for years
honestly…. I doubt they’ll care anyway

Feel like just saying not to bother anymore as I spend quite a bit, make an effort wrapping, nice gift bags whereas it’s not reciprocated at all, thoughts?

oh buck up and don’t be such a martyr. Do you wrap the gifts with tears sliding down your face?

Just buy them a nice, token gift. Don't stop entirely, don't spend more than you're happy with.

No drama needed.

i would just say let’s not do gifts anymore it does seem a bit pointless
even money in a card would be better than crap from Aldi but their lack of effort would annoy me.

Think outside the box!

Start buying presents that will make a huge mess or very loud noises. The kids will love these kinds of gifts, but their tight-fisted parents won’t!

Even girls like Excavating kits (from Hobby Craft), Large Slime Trolley, Paints, Recorder with how to play book, Kids Drum Kit for them share and learn to play, Water Bombs, Baking Kits! There’s so many messy things to choose from.

Never posted before and not copied

No just fed up of buying nice gifts when all my son gets is cheap shit, both their parents earn a significant more than me and my partner plus I have 2 to buy for, not like they double the budget for my only child!

Just agree not to do gifts anymore, or get a token like a selection box for the family. We don't do niece/nephew gifts in my family, there was no issues of cheapness/lack of reciprocation/not being close, we just have enough stuff and don't think it's necessary.

I think this is about your relationship with your nieces not about who gets what.
Build that relationship, talk to them, get a present you know is thoughtful. Make sure you're in a good place with your own son.
Your brother and sister-in-law's relationship with your son is their business.

They don't seem to be stressing about this, they are not buying anything you suggest so you do the same. No more getting suggested presents. Pick up a few cheap bits, some colouring bits maybe, go to the works and get some fun stuff but on your budget .

I think you're missing something important.

You're making it about the adults

To me, the more important thing is possible relationships between the kids.
Focus on that, maybe?
Your only could have important relationships with family

My sil is just about to have her 7th baby. We can't afford big presents and we didn't get as much as a congrats card when our baby was born so they get birthday cards and nothing else

Maybe petty but I’d return as much effort as they show you. So no more asking for gift ideas and if they do make suggestions (how rude in this situation!) then ignore them. Not like you’re having a relationship with your nieces anyway. Just send them equally thoughtless gifts back. Your nieces probably won’t notice the change in type of gift if they’re young but hopefully your brother and SIL will.

^This.
Save your efforts for your son. Just get them a token generic gift.

So don’t
you don’t seem to like them
they don’t seem to like you
your kids barely know their kids

oh and spending time and money on *I make an effort wrapping, nice gift bags *on any kids let alone ones you barely see and don’t like the parents is… well a bit daft

Yes I thought so too

You might want to get together with your doppelganger for some support then

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5530130-to-cull-bday-presents-xmas-presents-for-nieces

What a peculiar person @KPlum must be in RL!

Then why do it? You know that they don't match your effort so either lower your own effort to match theirs or speak to them and say that now the kids are getting older I think we should stop the gifts.