I'm finding it hard to gauge - I have very few friends I feel able to open up to without feeling embarrassed/woe-is-me like - whether my partner's response to my anger is at all normal?!
We have a DD age 2 and as many - the early months were tough, he never really helped and I resented and still do, how difficult those early months were. He wouldn't talk about it until we got to eruption break up point - and at that point the current concern would the stop any discussion. Things have improved with his parenting - partially he has to make effort now as I'm a shift worker but the bread winner so he needs to cover childcare around nursery hours- but credit to him he has build a bond with her now and she loves her dad.
There is still a massive imbalance in our free time - we were both off today - he had 4 hours for a hobby, I asked for a couple of hours as she's been poorly all week so I've had no off time at all at home, and had to take time off work to look after her as she couldn't go to childcare. Totally fine but tiring as I've also had what she has. On his return I ask him to oversee as I need to clean the bathroom (a thrilling use of my independence) and within minutes DD crying and he's arguing and just shouting for her to get up (from another room, looking at his phone). Was a very 2yo logic breakdown but she is 2yo, and if he had just engaged with her I suspect the whole thing could have been avoided. But I try to give him room to parent his own way. 5 mins go by, no change so I challenge it and ask if he is going to help her, he kind of shrugs and doesn't really reply. I find the no reply the most disrespectful frustrating thing and respond in a brisk but not shout that I will go and help her myself, that I feel he is parenting lazily and it's weaponised incompetence when I just literally want 5 minutes peace. He refuses to reply when I'm being 'irrational like this' and says he will speak to me later. I get on with my day - settle DD, make us all dinner, entertain and do bath and bed for her. He still hasn't revisited the discussion and I know he won't. He's avoidant to the maximum. The bit that REALLY gets me is the lack of discussion and shutting me down when I raise what I feel to be valid concerns/complaints/negativities. He essentially won't talk to me if I show any emotion, but particularly anything angry. Anyone else get emotionally censored like this? I wasn't name calling or shouting but interested to know if others would have shut me down too?