To cut a long story short, I lost a parent 2 & half years ago. I have been drinking on and off, I don't mean excessively, no spirits. However I haven't been a drinker since my younger years. I guess at first after the death it was understandable to have a few beers. There have been periods of time where I haven't drank, but as father's day is approaching I am feeling vulnerable and drinking again, and just as I felt better about things, I am talking 2-3 large beers but sometimes could have more withput restraint and feeling unwell (I am petite), but with a neurological health condition and on meds I know this is wrong, not to mention undiagnosed adhd. Some days I feel fine and honestly have been doing better lately. I lost a lot of weight after the bereavement, but I have put it back on now, healthy uk 10.
Now my appetite is going again, and I have alot of anxiety about my dcs, and just generally feel so guilty. I just want to numb things. Just as I think I am feeling my upbeat self, bang it hits me. Father's day is looming and I am making a lot of effort for dh, as our dcs are too young to do it themselves and I am feeling shit and disguise it all behind a big smile.
Sorry, I don't even know what I want from the thread! Maybe those who have similar experiences.