Divorce, house move , cheating husband help please

[Macmeme]

So. Husbands come home from work and told me he slept with someone at work in 2017. He told me because 2 days ago she has filed a rape case against him.

We are due to move house and have just signed contracts for the houses.

He has said he knows its over. I have told him in no uncertain terms it is over

What do i need to do first?

I have logged off work and told my family who i will be phoning when he has left.

He is leaving. Presumably to go to parents.

New house is more expensive and I will struggle to afford on my own.

Im thinking of cancelling the move, stay here he can live soemwhwre else.

But what else do I need to do? And in which order. Thank you

I have nothing to add to all the good advice here. I just wanted to say how sorry I am, this is truly awful and make sure the people around you really dig in and help because this is ugly. Please take care of yourself.

This is only true if OP has exchanged contracts. If not, she can still cancel.

Are you him?!
I mean the man is so sure it was all consensual but also he was quite drunk so....

I have no chance of buying him out of the new house tbh I can afford current house on my own

I don't think you can go ahead with the purchase, knowing you can't make the payments on your own. I think, like a pp said, the mortgage offer would be withdrawn due to a change in circumstances. You really do need to speak to your solicitor first thing.

Im really sorry OP.

Also, accused doesn't mean guilty. Some women do lie, just as some men do. He's a cheat but he's not necessarily a rapist!

Personally, this would be the end of the marriage for me.

Do you know whether the police have interviewed him yet?

I try to stay objective — in my line of work I’ve unfortunately seen many cases where allegations weren’t genuine, even if that’s not what MN wants to hear.

He is entitled to the presumption of innocence until proven otherwise, regardless of how unpleasant he may be.

Regarding the house, I would withdraw if that were possible. You’ve said you can’t afford the new property but can manage the current one, and you’ll already be under significant emotional strain.
Alternatively, selling your current home may still be sensible, as it removes one more asset from the divorce process.

What he’s done and the conveyancing are different issues.
Get legal advice immediately.
Im 99% sure you have to go through with sale and purchase or suffer 10% penalty on each.
Cheapest option would be to sell, go through with purchase then change mortgage to interest only and sell new house asap. Sharks will be circling to add to your misery.

Thank you all.

I have sent of divorce cert, had an initial meeting with a solicitor and instructed them, and requested pension forecasts. Have also cancelled both the purchase and the sale. I want the house. I cant afford to buy him out. There will have to be a deal.

I can afford the house with his maintenance payments but obviously that depends on him having a job. This was someone at work as well so I imagine if the rape charge doesnt go theoigh she will raise complaint at work.

The truth wont come out of his mouth and if it did i wouldn't believe him.

In the last week I have learned:

• listen to your gut (I had a feeling about this house move)
• I have an amazing group of women around me.
• I will be ok.
• dont ever try and make things work with someone that's not putting the same in as you are.

I have an interview for a job thats a bit closer to home and should be a bit more £££s in a couple of weeks too.

Ive obviously been depending on this idiot for far too long.

Thanks for all your suggestions!

O and I sold my wedding ring and bought some new bedroom furniture too 💪

Love your update. Good luck with the new job and the new life.

@Macmeme

You are an inspiration! Good on you and good luck going forward.

I presume there will be a court case to go through therefore he has not been found guilty of anything yet. I’m sorry you are having to go through this, OP and hope you lots of support.