Can't find work because of my location.

[bellastricken]

I work in social research. I have a decent job but hate it. There are loads of jobs out there but very few fully remote and others where they require two days a week in the office. Problem is, I'm a single parent and there is nothing where the office is based in my location. Zilch. I can't move because my mum, dad, brother, sister and a lot of my friends live within 30 miles of me. I feel totally stuck and don't know what to do. Has anyone ever been in the same position and how did you manage it?

Thing is you could move, you just don’t want to, which is completely valid if what’s keeping you there is important to you. What you have to decide is if that is more important to you than changing job. You could move, stay where you are and in the job you’re in, commute to somewhere if there’s anywhere commutable for a new job.

I moved for work
it’s not ideal I know but that’s where the world has been for the last 50 years
you will make friends
your children will build good relationships with your family
you have a choice even if it’s between a rock and a hard place

Is it that to your family do.a lot of free childcare for you? Is that the reason you need to stay close? Otherwise I don't understand. People move away from.family all the time.

You can move, you've chosen not to. Most people move away from family these days, at least for a while.

Life is about compromise. Noone can have everyrhing they want so you have to choose what is more important, your job or where you live. And if you really cant move then the decision has been made for you. Could you change to a different career which would suit your location better?

If ypu really want to change jobs, a change of mindset is what is needed here!

Your choice is moving and finding a better job or staying and putting up with the job you have. Only you can decide what your priority is.

What is it you want help with managing? Tolerating a crappy job for the 'greater good' or the logistics of a house move and finding a new job as a single parent?

Tbf, making peace with the job you have and finding ways to enrich your life around it will be the easiest option.

I suppose it depends on why you hate it.

I think just suck it up for now and actively look for something - it might come up. When your children are older, you may be able to commute or move.

I used yo live in a seaside town with really poor transport links, and no jobs. I had to leave in the end because I was tired of living in utter poverty. Im still really sad about it, and now because of bad health I can't go back.
No answers but I understand what you are going through

I agree with others - you need to think about what exactly is stopping you moving away and whether it's worth it. Most people I know don't live in the area they grew up in. If it is worth it, then making peace with your current job is probably the way forward.

Why do you hate your job? You say it’s a “decent” job, yet you are not happy in it, and see no alternative. The choice you have is either: put up with your job for the sake of the other advantages in your life - WFH, family near etc; or decide you will change jobs and accept the upheaval that comes with that. As I constantly remind my DC, you are paid to do a job because you wouldn’t do it if you weren’t, and even the most enjoyable jobs have aspects of them that you won’t like or enjoy - even Picasso had to wash his paintbrushes. Is it worth moving away from family support in order to get a new job where maybe you have to work in an office two days a week? I guarantee the new job will have aspects you don’t care for - it’s the nature of work. It’s up to you, though, whether it’s worth changing, or whether it’s a matter of the grass being greener.

Are people overlooking the fact that OP is a single parent? Moving away from your support network in that position is a huge decision, the job would really have to be worth it.

There's a whole list of things everybody considers and people's priorities vary. We all would love:

Job we enjoy doing
Job that pays enough for lifestyle
Good housing in nice location
Located near friends and family
Located well for schools, health, culture, transport etc
If possible also a bit of space around us.

Thing is... it's pretty hard (and rare) to have all those things so we have to compromise on some of them. If your priority is staying near friends and family then you might have to grit your teeth and do a job you don't love. Or move to one you do, but sacrifice location.

You've in a niche field. I can't imagine there are many places in the UK that have a high demand for a 'social researcher.'

But theres no easy answer here. Either stick out the job you're in, or move and lose your support network. Or get lucky and land something remote - is there absolute no chance of this? It sounds like a computery type of job?

Can you move to somewhere that's still within 30 miles of family and friends but in a different direction? You may well find that if you're 60 miles away the picture is very different.

I think should build a life around work. Lots of people don't like what they do but stay where they are for pragmatic reasons, so it's not unusual in the slightest.

Why don’t you change careers to something that is commonly done fully remotely?

Are you particularly highly paid? If not then you have a ton of options to get your foot in the door somewhere. I think you need to widen the job net rather than restrict yourself to finding an identical job to what you have now (that you don’t even like!)

Is there scope to build a business where you are? I’m afraid I know zilch about social research so perhaps this is unrealistic, especially as you’re a single parent.

Another approach could be to brainstorm what makes your current job so miserable? What could you change that makes your work day easier whilst you plan for the longer term. How old are your kids?

This is it really. When he is sick at school I have help. I see my mum 3x a week and my dad pretty much the same. My son has autism, adhd and a learning disability and it took a long time to get him into the school he is in now. I just know I would fall apart if I didn't have my family around me. I also volunteer at a local charity here which is an integral part of my week as I can take my son with me and he is very integrated into it. I appreciate it is a choice to stay

Definitely thought about this. I've looked at user research. I earn about 45k a year.

Either suck it up or move. Sorry that sounds harsh, but it's a choice that we all have and we all make our choice and have to live with it. I've never lived near my family, because they live in the arse end of nowhere and there have never been any decent jobs around there!

It isn't that niche. It's usually promoted as insights manager, monitoring and evaluation etc.

This sounds like a good set up. You say you have a'decent job' but hate it.

What is decent about it? What do you hate about it? Can you change your attitude or any of the conditions so that it is more tolerable?

I agree with PP - it sounds like you're set up well at the moment when it comes to support, school, personal life, etc. You say you would fall apart without your family around you, so surely that would negate any happiness you'd get from a more fulfilling job elsewhere?

Can you compromise, get your head down and just crack on with your job for now? You may find you have more options open to you when DC are older. In the meantime keep your eyes out for remote jobs in case something suitable comes up, but don't make it your focus because you'll only continue to feel unhappy if you don't find it.

Are there many full time jobs in social research. My cousin works in the field - she has a small company and they do research projects for local authorities on things like child health or causes of homelessness. But she has to take what work she can (this is in London). Would you actually be able tp get permanent work in the field if you moved?