AIBU - neighbours kids balls

[anxiousnancy]

I used to be good friends with my neighbour. They are a nice family with 4 boys and a small house. They kick their football around all the time and constantly hit the fence and the balls come over into my garden. We are talking 10 balls in a week. I don’t ask them to stop as it’s their garden but I don’t throw the balls back anymore as they are deep in my bushes and trees so I would have to crawl into the bushes to get them. I feel a little bad as there are many balls in my bushes but my husband really gets annoyed by the balls hitting the fence as our new fence has a hole in it where they have kicked it so much. They have tried putting up netting but that hasn’t really worked. Am I being unreasonable for not throwing back their balls? Whenever they ask I am happy for the boys to come and find the balls but this always annoys my husband so feels like I’m stuck in the middle.

As the frustrated parent of a seven year old who just can’t stop kicking balls around at every opportunity, both you and their parents have my sympathy.

Could you agree a mutually agreeable time once or twice a week when the one child comes round to fish them out?

As the parent of a 4 year old who launched everything into next doors garden I feel for you both too. I'm at my wits end trying to stop him throwing frisbees, kicking balls etc. next door 🫠

I would say it’s natural consequences, if they kick them over then they won’t have a ball for a few days.

Do they have 10 balls and only stop and come around once they are all in your garden? They need far fewer balls and to have to not play football for a few days regularly due to their poor aim.

How old are they and why can’t the parents take them for a kick about somewhere more suitable regularly instead of your fence being damaged? Have you asked them to pay for repair/replacement?

We had this with a family of boys and our kids were only little at the time. They would send the boys around and they would constantly ring the doorbell until you answered. Dh did take them back to their parents and explain when he was wfh he couldn't always get to the door. He would always pop the balls over at the end of the day but had to check to do so as they went at the side of our house rather than in the main part of the garden. We then had our youngest and the constant door bell ringing started again, often when I was putting her down for a nap. We left the side gate open during school holidays, during the day and said they could come around and collect their balls which they did. One day one of the boys slipped on our decking and after that they stopped popping round for their ball and we went back to just chucking them over.

We always just talked to the parents about it. Our dc were little at the time but I knew at some point the roles might well get reversed so keeping a good relationship was important. As it stands my son will sometimes kick the ball into another neighbour's garden who does throw them over but I take him over myself to ask and if it's gone over more than over in the same day then he just has to wait until they chuck it over. We have a football net as just kicking the fence is unacceptable.

This would drive me potty. We have football playing boys on either side- one neighbours son and the other neighbours grandson who is there a lot. Occasionally I have to throw a ball back over but it is only that- occasional. If it was happening as often as you are dealing with I’d have to have words. And I couldn’t be doing with the constant coming to the door.

It is not ok to let DC hit the neighbour’s fence repeatedly. I would have a chat with the parents about that.
If people have a small garden, there are other ways to occupy children than giving them
a ball to kick. And then you can take them to the park to practice their football.

I'd be having a word with the parents. 10 times a week is ridiculous.

My NDN only has one boy but I get annoyed with him constantly kicking his ball against the wooden fence. Not only for the noise but it's not cheap to replace panels. I think 10 balls a week coming over is a lot and I'd be very unhappy with that. Do you have flower borders? Would the children hunting around for balls cause damage to your flowers and bushes? I'm with your husband on this one. I get that children need to play outdoors, but football games, especially amongst 4 children, are better suited to the park.

Not ok - they need to go to the park . They are causing damage and a nuisance to you.

I lived next door to a family where the boys kicked the balls over. I said they could have them back if they came and asked nicely. Consequences and behaviour standards! They never did get their balls back.

Am I being unreasonable for not throwing back their balls?

No.

Ugh. I live in a terraced house. We all have tiny gardens. People also move in and out frequently so I dont know which houses do or dont have children. We often end up with balls in our garden. I don't know where they came from. Recently I overheard a dad saying "I'm not buying a new ball today. Perhaps if people had the decency to return the ones you kicked over I wouldn't need to keep replacing them."
I replied "I dont know where you live. Perhaps you could keep them in your garden". I think they are about 3 houses away.
I had 2 boys myself, and they rarely kicked a ball over the fence.

If they ask for the balls back, the mum or dad have to come and fetch them.
That way it is as inconvenient to them as it is to you.

Yabu, give the kids the footballs back

My neighbours have a stop that ball net that’s working great

Thanks all, seems like I’m not being unreasonable so that’s good! I want to be a good neighbour but the noise does drive me nutty. They put a special net up but must have really bad aim as it’s literally 10 balls a week and a non stop rotation. Anyway, thanks for the reassurance and yes I will keep letting them come and get the balls when they ask. But just won’t go out of my way to have to constantly hunt them down and throw back.

YANBU to not return them- 10 balls a week coming over your fence is excessive- their parents need to invest in a net or take them the park.

Another thread title that failed to deliver on its promise

Growing up now is a bit cr*p. Kids don't have the freedom and fun we had. I know it's annoying but good that they're outside and playing and not sat in front of consoles all day. I had a similar situation with a neighbour and my wise mother advised me that it wouldn't last forever. They will only play for a short time. I took that on board and was the better person and she was right. Neighbours' kids all grown up now. Come to some sort of agreement or compromise and give them the footballs back!