To expect my husband to remember

[raspberrychocolate40]

It’s my mums birthday today and I mentioned to my husband yesterday to remind him to text her today to wish her happy birthday. We will see her soon to celebrate but won’t be for a week or two. He’s just in from work and I asked him did he text her and he goes no I forgot. He made time to text me about something random earlier and went to the gym earlier too. I just feel it’s really poor on his side considering she always sends him a card and a text for his birthday and I have to keep reminding him year after year.
I never forget to text his family on their birthday he doesn’t even need to remind me I just know the dates. I don’t think it’s because he is bad with dates as he remembers everyone else’s birthday just not my side of the family. He doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Aibu?

Why didn’t you message your mum on behalf of both of you? Isn’t that more normal ?

Tbh it’s not a big deal. Why can’t you just send a text from you both?

Bit weird that he should do it? Surely you would do it on behalf of both of you

I completely get a group text which makes more sense but I think they like the individual messages. It’s the same on his side we have a family chat and everyone in the chat will wish the birthday person happy birthday even if their husband/wife just messages seconds previously. 🫣

He can still send it? It's not a big deal. She isn't a priority to him, and that's okay. I thought you were going to say he forgot your birthday....now that would be a big deal.

I agree it’s frustrating and I had to remind my ex and now my current partner too.
when me and my ex split up his sister said she no longer receives birthday cards etc as I’m not there to remind her brother 😑

I’m horrible at remembering dates and rely on the flurry of happy birthdays in WhatsApp groups to remember, or dh and I just remind each other if the other one isn’t conveniently in one of those groups.

Why is it weird? It’s my birthday today and my DD’s partner sent me a lovely text. He’s like a son to me and I really appreciated it.

My DH wouldn't call anyone, text anyone, or write them a card himself that's just the way he is.
He's a lovely man, everyone likes him, he just doesn't remember birthdays and he doesn't like to write and he never calls anyone to specifically wish them a happy birthday .
Since we've been married it's me who remembers birthdays on his family's side, I'm the one that chooses cards, writes them, and has him scrawl his signature.
It took him 5 or 6 years before he remembered my birthday!
Needless to say he's rubbish at gifts and cards so we never gives them!
We're still married and I hope this makes you feel better OP.

In the 25+ years I’ve known my in-laws, I don’t ever remember sending them a birthday text. I’ll buy the presents and cards, wrap them and give them. DH would send a text in the morning from us all.

I rarely remember birthdays and certainly never texted any of my in laws. I wouldn’t expect my DH to text my family either. He did his family I did mine.

Blokes just don’t care about this stuff. It’s not a priority to them so that’s why they forget. It’s is uncaring behaviour but I also would not expect my DH to text my Mother - his own Mother yes, but not mine.

Why on earth would he need to do this? I dont message my ILs but my husband passes messages on

They? She? You think?

Just send her a text from you both

In 30 years I’ve never once sent a text or called my in-laws. They are my OHs parents, not mine.

Tell him to set himself an annual reminder on his phone.

why?

I presume that you sent a card on behalf of all of you, so what's the issue?

Because most men can just about remember their own families birthdays never mind the in-laws! One message from OP is surely enough with his name on