The fight to see people.

[19Notts32]

Does anybody else feel like they have lots of friends but not actually that important to anyone? I am so tired of asking people if they want to meet, never being asked to stuff and in recent times I feel like i may as well live the other side of the country to some of my "closest friends" who live in same town I dont see for weeks. Is this just an age thing? Im 40s with kids in primary and secondary. I feel like im bottom of list for people thinking of me when making plans. Should I make my circle smaller and make more effort? Pls be kind I already tried not contacting anyone for a while. That didnt work out too well either it went back to me chasing!

I kind of hate posting because it's always me posting on these threads

I totally understand

My real friends buggered off into their families during lockdown though who knows, maybe they don't socialise with anyone anymore either.

I have met some new people, but it's like getting blood out of a stone actually getting people to meet up. I'm part of a group thing that that's dwindling

I think it's the malaise of the age rather than being anything to do with your age

You'll get lots of posters coming along saying that it is about being busy, etc etc but people used to have friendship on a priority list. They don't anymore.

If you look up "crisis of friendship" you will see people from age 18 in the same boat.

if you don't contact people, then that's it. You just don't hear from them. And sometimes you don't hear from them when you do contact them

There was quite a funny post on here where somebody said that if she suggested meeting up to parents when she saw them at child centric activities) "they look at you like you suggested shooting up heroin"

I'm single and have no family to speak of and I just feel like a wandering lonely blob.

Life’s just really hard for a lot of people at the moment. Depending on the ages of your friends perimenopause could be an issue? I’m fuxking knackered with poor sleep at the moment and feel really guilty not spending time with friends like I used to to but it’s as much as I can manage to go to work every day most days!
Dare I ask what sort of friend you are? I have a couple of friends that I love dearly but have to psych myself up to see as they’re quite negative about their lives, children, health, work etc etc! I try and always look on the bright side and pick out the positives in my life so being around others who are very negative is really draining and with being so tired myself I don’t have the energy for them as often as I once did 😭
Are you still suggesting the same times and places for meet ups? I’ve started meeting a friend for brekkie as she doesn’t work one day a week and I start work later so we can meet early while we still have some energy left!

You are not the only one OP. Some people have active friendships but a lot don't. I try to enjoy the interactions I have with other people through work and hobbies rather than expecting to make friends, then if it happens it's a bonus. I only have 2 good friends locally and a couple more further away. I would like more. Why can't all these people wanting more friends be friends with each other?

If you based things on what you read on here, you'd think any attempt at social connection was an unforgiveable crime.

I do think a national obession with "productivity" isn't helping. Socialising isn't "productive".