So stupid

[Alwaystired101]

I had gold to sell never done it before... its quite confusing... my eyes not great so cant see symbols inside etc... I also suffer with really bad anxiety which is important to note here.
I weighed everything at home good proper scales not the kitchen ones lol
I weighed up just over 65g
I googled price of said gold at lowest amount for 9ct.
I went to shop and a few items were 10ct and 14ct which she said they put in as 9ct as standard. Also a necklace and heart chain was 18ct... a pendant was 22ct and 2 rings were 18ct all rest 9ct.... she said That they also deduct for diamonds rubies etc
I said its like a grand less than I got and she gave me a big speech about how gold price is 26 pound a gram I should be grateful etc my phones beeping with message about paying bill etc so I gave her my bank card to put the £910 pound in. I actually had to hold back crying and kept saying its not enough but she had already done all the testing so didnt have a choice. I know nothing I can do but how do you cope with anxiety as after im so down and feel so pathetic and worthless not being able to say no when im a grown ass woman. Yes I can pay the council fine now so dont have enforcement agents but just still want to cry as it was everything I had.

Ps im writing here as i have no family and no friends and I really just need to get it out so to speak. Cant say it to a mum at school for eg as all I ever say is hi thats the most of my conversations with adults

Why do they deduct for diamonds and rubies?!

Ah sorry OP. I don't know nothing about gold but I really like that rule thing that if you are upset about something now but likely to have forgotten all about it in a couple of months it's not worth worrying now

You’re going to AS and dredge a post from a fucking YEAR ago to kick her while she’s down? Not nice.

Haven’t you got anything better to do than stalk old threads? 🙄

Op maybe you need some help for the anxiety. I dont understand why you didnt leave the offer- say you would think about it and do more research. Noone forced you to sell

I’d be empathetic enough to see she’s someone who’s in dire straits. Of course I wouldn’t want to be hit by an uninsured driver but unless you live round the corner from her, what are the chances?

eta I posted before I saw your reply to another poster but my point still stands; it was a mean AS.

Things are only worth what someone is willing to pay for them. You're not going to get the price that Google values them at. The person buying the gold from you needs to make a profit.

She didn't have a gun to your head.

@Alwaystired101 it’s done and you can’t undo it. Was it enough to bring you some comfort and get back on an even keel?

Fucking hell, @Loveaproductiveday you’re cold as ice. Was it her mother’s jewellery? Her daughter’s Christening gifts? It was ALL SHE HAD.

Im unable to see a lot of posts i assume its because they were so nasty.
If you have never had anxiety you will not understand how hard it is to say no and "stand up " for yourself in situations like this.
It was a shop in a market very very busy and so that made it worse.

If I've learned one useful lesson in my rather long life @Alwaystired101 , it's that it's pointless worrying or beating yourself up about things like this.

I know it's easier said than done, but as a wise person (my cousin Tom!) once said to me "Is worrying going to change anything? Because if not, then you just have to park those thoughts mate." He's right of course. Going over and over it in your head is natural really, but it's done now and you can't change it, so please try to find peace with it.

I really hope things start to look up for you.

It must have been awful and really stressful and worrying for you. I guess you cannot do much about it now. So the only solution for you is to try not to think about or dwell on it. Hopefully you got enough money for what you needed it for and try to focus on that. It’s no way to live with such levels of anxiety and isolation which I guess the two are linked. A lot of local authorities and / or GP practices have social prescribers which are individuals who can help people with anxiety and isolation to go with them and support them to attend different community events etc. Do you have any hobbies? Do you have things you enjoy? It would be a really good idea to see if this type of program exists in your local area. Can you do some research online? Contact the local council? Or ask your GP? I imagine you won’t want to go out and do things by yourself with your anxiety etc but going with someone else trained to support people just like you would make a difference. Good luck.

You're not stupid. You are obviously stressed about money, anxious about the process, and they were deliberately trying to give you as little as they could, so its not surprising it happened.
However, it's done now. You need to focus on the fact that you can now pay your bill so that's one worry out of the way.
Might be a good time to get some support with your finances so you don't get into a panic with bills. Citizens Advice can be very good at getting any debts under management for you and checking if you're entitled to any extra money. If you get anxious it can really help to feel you've got a plan to get things under control a little.

I sold some gold recently, I googled first had an idea of the value for 9ct and 18ct. I phoned around a few jewellers to ask what they'd offer per gram before going to my local independent. Every single offer was significantly lower than what Google suggested. Clearly the jeweller needs to make a cut on the transaction, so the price they offer us is lower than the stock market price that Google throws up.
It is what it is, there's no getting around it. If you didn't have an anxiety disorder you might have walked away, but you wouldn't have got the cash. You needed the money and you got it. And you did it in spite of the anxiety.

If you'd decided to sell your gold last year, you'd have got a lot less for it than you did today. So you timed the market well. Go easy on yourself.

No, you're not stupid. You sold your gold when you needed to, and it was a good time to sell. Onwards and upwards.

I think you're probably entitled to more help than what you're getting: Benefits, grants, discounted utilities/social tariffs, etc. Please contact your local Citizens Advice, they'll put you in touch with people who can guide you through the system.

For future reference, you don't need to see the symbols inside. All you need to do is shop around. The first time I was selling jewelry I went to a place that actually advertises - very nice place with tasteful decor, quiet and private. The price seemed reasonable. I politely thanked them and said I'd think about it. But I thought I should have some comparison. So I went to a second, shabbier place, and was offered a markedly better price. Then a third. The more I went to, the higher the price got - and I wasn't playing them off against each other, wasn't trying to bargain.

So, what's your problem with saying no? Would it be easier if, like me, you just politely said you'd think it over? Actually, in cases like these, sometimes the act of saying no makes them immediately make you a better offer.

Sorry for your unhappiness, but think of it as a learning experience.