AIBU to feel sad seeing children grow up far too quickly?

[Kidssshouldbekids]

Dd12 is currently chalking on our garden path with dd20. Both having a great time (although dd20 would never admit it 😂)
3 girls from dd12s class just walked past, vaping, with bottles of alcohol on way to our local park.
Just makes me so sad to think childhood ends so early nowadays....

I expect it's quite unusual for 12 year olds to do that but there are always some that have had a desperately sad childhood

My 12 year old spends her time with friends - climbing trees, paddling at the beach, playing football, dressing up in strange outfits /making dance routines.and shows, trampolining or in the pool, bedazzling anything and everything...

I’m still giving my false eyelash wearing (well, to a big family night out) a ‘show’ from her teddies before bed. I’m not sure she’s as grown up as I was in the early 80’s

Sounds like a safeguarding issue.....

This really isn't typical of 12 year olds

Yeah thats definitely not normal for 12 year olds.

Not normal and I would inform the school.

I remember 12 being a funny age when I was that age in the 90s. Some were very childlike still, others were smoking B&H over the park at lunchtime and roaming the streets until god knows when.

I think it's always been one of those ages.

This isn't anything new if anything kids are younger for longer now due to over parenting.

I get it and want ours to stay kids as long as possible. Oldest is 8 and still believes in Santa and all my other tall tales.

Its a magical time and I worry for them growing up in this world.

Same, though in the early 2000's. It was a very distinct split.

When Dd20 was her age I had to get her moved in class as her classmates were talking about having sex so I guess it is

Yes far less mature and independent than even a generation ago

It really doesn’t for most DC! My eldest DD is 15 and has never vaped (she thinks it’s stupid) and has never been drunk.
My 11 year old would definitely enjoy chalking the garden path (so would DD15)

I was always told 'if you want a drink, you can have ONE in the house'
I'm 40yo and still share my location with my parents and DC

Aged 12?

Good grief, vaping and drinking at 12?!

That's not typical at all.

That’s not normal in my experience. Year 9 they tried to be cool and grown up - ages 13-14 - but now they’re end of year 10 they’ve gone through that and just do stuff they enjoy. My youngest 2 are twins and nearly 15 but I came home from work the other day to find them playing the tooth fairy board game 😂😂😂 oh and I got the brio and duplo out for my 3yo nephew and twins were having the best time playing with it.

There’s a small group of vaping teens in their year but it really is small. Dd3 says she hates her year 9 self because she was trying to fit in and be someone she wasn’t.

I think it’s the opposite - parents seem to infantilise their children by not giving them freedom and independence.

At 12 years of age? Really?

I’m not sure what relevance you sharing your location has either

We shouldn’t be encouraging children to grow up too quickly.

Equally, leaving childhood behind is natural and part of a process.

Absolutely not normal at all. I'd speak to school and the authorities.

I’m fascinated by how differently children must grow up or maybe just mature at different rates?

My DD’s are 15 and almost 14. The youngest one still loves jellycats and drawing, she’s into Japanese films and literature and has been learning Japanese for 3 years. Eldest is more typical into make up, skincare, hair etc but also Korean films and culture. They’re both pretty innocent as girls this age go, neither have had a boyfriend or so much as kissed a boy. Older DD is more interested than younger who thinks boys are disgusting but DD1 still wouldn’t have the courage to speak to boys like that.

Anyway, her friend who I always thought was a very very sensible girl has had sex not just once but numerous times in a park! I was a bit taken aback by this but no reason for her to lie about it, DD wouldn't be and wasn’t impressed… She thought it was gross. I just wonder why they grow at different rates like this, is it upbringing?

Well my 13 year old and her friends and everyone else we know her age aren't like this so I guess it isn't??

You KNOW this isn’t typical behaviour for 12 yos. So if we’re looking at atypical, this has been going on for years, until you go so far back in time that 12 was considered basically an adult, and the norm.

My 13 and 15 year old aren’t drinking down the park nor are any of their friends. They’re not interested in relationships or sex, if anything I think exposure to that kind of thing in mainstream and social media has put them off rushing things. They’re are increasingly independent, as you’d hope they would be, but appropriately so.