I've been with my partner for about 16 years.
He has a 17 year old son who has lived with us FT since he was about 6 as his mum lives abroad and contact is very sporadic. He had has a heart condition and had heart surgery at 14 and she didn't visit once because it was hectic as it was close to Christmas (11 days) and she had other her children to look after and after that he sort of gave up with her and their relationship because she made him feel like an inconvenience.
2023 was a tough year for him as he’d lost most of his friends due to the surgery and recovery so he was miserable especially dealing with the trauma of the surgery as we did know about the heart condition but it was always managed with medication until it had rapidly worsened and he needed the surgery.
He attempted suicide and was referred to camhs who were useless, he started a new school for year 10 and is now doing much better. DH is obviously protective over him and has let a lot slide. Now he's not a bad lad but he's mouthy.
He started dating a girl at the end of 2023, when he was 15 and she was 13 which I was weary of but dh said it wasn't a big deal as they were only a school year apart. She wasn't going to his school though, they met online.
Long story short, he ended up getting her pregnant and the baby was born last year (they were 14 and 16) the baby is now about 15 months old and ds got his GCSEs and is in year 12 at a sixth form college. DH made it clearly he didn't want the fact he had a baby to impact his education (or baby's mums) and funded everything for him pretty much and now pays for childcare a few days a week as well as having him himself.
I am at my wits end with DS though just lately as he vapes even though he shouldn't due to his heart, we've told him multiple times but he says he's fine but he then plays on his condition by saying he's too tired and he doesn't go to college sometimes because Again he's tired or can't be bothered
Now the issue, he recently broke up with his gf which hit him hard as they were together for over 2 and a half years, they were argujg a lot and I think it was they were both stressed because of exams (GCSEs for her and AS levels for him). On Sunday I found out he’d been lying about having chest pains and being in hospital to his boss and dropped him in it by saying he was fine as I didn't know he lied. He called me a bitch and still hasn't gone and spoke to his boss. He had a shift yesterday too and didn't turn up.
I booked AL for Monday and today and had plans with a friend but DH had to go into the office today and asked me if I can have our grandson (as he was meant to) in the end I agreed as it's not worth the arguments, however I ended up cancelling plans with my friend. DH is away for the weekend on a stag do and DS asked me to have grandson on Friday night so he can celebrate his gf completing his GCSEs, I said yes and this was before they broke up. He's saying they're sorting things out so still wants to but not sure if I should after giving up my day off today and his behaviour in the past few days.
WWYD?