AIBU to start all over again?

[HeyThereDelilah1]

I’m 40 (soon to be 41) and have a 15 year old and a 12 year old, both boys. They are lovely kids but naturally getting older and pulling away to prioritise time with friends. I just feel sad it’s coming to a close so soon. We’re in a reasonable financial situation but will be paying for tuition fees in 3 years (hopefully) and still have a hefty mortgage, we both earn too much to qualify for 30 free hours too. We have a nice quality of life right now, holidays, dinners out, theatre trips etc - I’d be mad to start again wouldn’t? Heart really tugging for a lovely newborn and my husband happy either way but from a practical pov it would be an insane thing to do… wouldn’t it?

Yes it would.

It's your ovaries rattling. It's biological.

You sound like you have a fab life. Teenage kids about to launch....

You never know what life will bring....

You are right, I’m shocked by what a powerful yearning I feel for a baby right now though - it’s hit me out of nowhere. I guess biology is alive and well!

No chance in hell would i do this habing babies is not a hobby for me

I seem to be in the minority here but, I’d go for it ! There’s a huge gap with me & my siblings, I loved it growing up. I have such a close bond with my parents

I don’t have an opinion either way as I think it’s a really personal decision. How do you think your current children would feel about it?

It would be insane yes. And you might not get a ‘lovely newborn’ you might get secondary infertility and years of stress, or a newborn that doesn’t sleep, a child with severe health conditions etc.

@HeyThereDelilah1You only regret the things in life you didn’t do x

Its called peri menopause. I was so glad dh got the snip and it was off the table.

That’s just not true

I am a soon to be 41 year old mum of 2 under 2. I couldn't imagine adding teenagers to this chaos.

My mum had me at 40, she was well until she hit 80, then died at 87. She was well enough to still help me out with childcare. There's a 13 year age gap between me and my sister (half) it hasn't been an issue. So I wouldn't say it was insane. Just make sure that it's what you really want, school run, term time holiday and figure in ND (just in case). I'm having to do childcare for my DD, so I haven't got the free time that I thought I would. I wish I'd made more of my 40s. Only you can decide.

I’m approaching the big 4-0 soon and I’ll have a 13 & 14 year old. I cannot imagine starting all over again. I love being a mum and it’s the best job in the world but I’m also loving having so much more freedom again.
You couldn’t pay me to do Primary school drop offs and picks ups again haha.

Is part of this because you'd like a girl? It seems often to be the case.

Depends how old your DH is really. Similar age maybe ok, pushing 50-hell no.