to feel this deception is serious

[Dollydolldolldoll]

I'm just unsure how to proceed. separated h that doesn't live with me and is an active alcoholic said he was going to sell the BBQ and asked if he could sell my garden chairs . I said no. He then when and grabbed my DS old bike expensive brand and went and sold that without asking me. I bought it. I'm livid . He has no job and is desperate.

it is very deceptive.
When I confronted him, he told me he has to survive and if it's so tit for tat, he LL come get the TV etc he bought. It's not the money , it's the deception.

How on earth do I proceed.

Sounds like theft.

that's what I said. It's stealing.

It's disgraceful.

Not sure if it's considered stealing though if you've kept his TV?

Get a restraining order this isn’t ok for the kids to witness.

Locks, I reckon. It's a shame you have to. But it sounds like you do. His addiction comes before everything, including you and his child(ren). I'm sorry.

he moved out. left all the furniture etc. we are still married.

But he asked me that day if he could sell my chairs and I says no. he knew stealing the bike from inside the house was sneaky so he didn't ask me.

I'd be worried about him.

Is he paying towards your home and his own? Is this entirely a drink thing or is he actually struggling to keep a roof over his head. Does he have family you can speak to? He clearly isn't coping and needs some support. I'm not suggesting you need to be the one to give it, but if there's someone else who could help him then maybe let them know what's going on?

He needs rehab.

he isn't working right now. he hasn't for a few months. he's struggling to keep a roof over his head and can't give me anything.

he asked me for money but I've had to put a boundary in. I don't know if he's drinking at the moment but he's still an addict. This has been going on for 8 years. His family don't seem to helping - they are in another county .

he won't have a conversation with me about anything.

He STOLE your child’s bike? Call the police!

Why is he on your property?

Why does he have access to your home?

Is the house on the market?

Did he used to work and contribute to the household?

It’s disgusting that he stole and I’d be tempted to phone the police but if it was either that or homelessness then I understand his desperation.

Did he leave you?
Where is he living?

I'd be making sure he can't get into your house again and securing anything valuable in the garage/shed with a big padlock. Get a ring doorbell too so you can see if he's been sniffing around. If I were you, I'd also be starting divorce proceedings ASAP.

It’s not about deception or being sneaky it’s about theft. Report him to the police. Change the locks. Don’t let him in your house again.

Okay so he is selling things to keep a roof over his head? Right, well then he needs get to citizens advice and explain his circumstances. He will likely be entitled to benefits if he explains you're separated and he's unable to support himself

I don't know what he is hunting. he is on UC. I don't know what more to do.

He’s going to steal your valuables, it’s only a matter on time. You need to change the locks and speak to a family lawyer about protecting yourself. Because you’re legally married, all your assets are at risk. Allowing an addict around children isn’t wise either. You could offer to help him get on the social housing list but otherwise his finances are his problem to sort.

He has been out of work fir a few months . He
moved out in 2020

Change the locks. You’ve said it was an old bike so I’d probably just write that off rather than starting some big battle about it. Obviously it’s appalling behaviour but starting a huge to do about it won’t gain you anything.

Report the theft. Get a crime number. Log the issues. Talk to a solicitor about what steps you need to take to prevent him accessing the property and stealing more. Talk to a solicitor about next steps for divorce.

he is coming into the house at the moment to get one child ready. i have tried for this bit to happen but my child insists. it's difficult. he picks my child up some days and so has keys but only to let them in

I am well aware of child care someone in active addiction. he hardly does anything to look after children

it is old as in my child outgrew it not that it is old

it was worth £200

He shouldn't have access to your house. He's in the grip of an addiction and you don't know what he'll take next. Start divorce proceedings.

He moved out 6 YEARS AGO?

Whilst your house may be a marital asset (if owned) it is categorically YOUR home and he has no right of entry. Change the locks, report to the police and for god's sake get started with the divorce. There is too much ambiguity.

I rent. it's not our house. ambiguity you are telling me.

I was holding out hope fir this but his addiction is slowly taking more control. that's why I'm moving countries soon to be with my parents .