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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU

2 replies

Lenny93 · 15/06/2026 17:32

Am I being unreasonable to keep gifts from an ex?

During our short relationship my ex gave me a couple of expensive gifts (his old playstation 5 and a Tiffany necklace which I don't believe is actually real) even though I had told him a few times that expensive gifts make me uncomfortable. He said he likes to give gifts and it was his love language.

I broke it off with him after 6 months because I felt like he wasn't being honest with me about a lot of things. The things he was telling me weren't adding up with things he'd said in earlier conversations and when I called him out on it he doubled down and told me I was confused.

During the break up offered the gifts back to him but he told me to keep them as "they were gifts from the heart" and he "never wanted anything in return for them". So I left it at that and stopped contact.

About a month ago (so almost a year after we broke up) he sent me an Instagram message request asking if I still have the necklace and playstation. I didn't reply at the time because I'm dealing with some family things of my own and didn't have the capacity to be back in touch with him again. By the time I felt ready to reply he'd unsent the message.

Because I'm nosy I had a look at his profile (I don't follow him, so can only see his profile picture and bio) and noticed his bio has "self-published author" listed now. And because I just can't help myself I looked him up on Amazon and it's the autobiography he'd told me he was writing when we were together.

I downloaded it on kindle unlimited (I didn't actually buy the book) and read it today. In the book he writes about his 3 children; one daughter and two sons. Which was interesting to me because he told me he had one child. A 15 year old daughter, he never mentioned his sons who would have been 5 and 2 at the time.

So, I feel vindicated in my decision to end it when I did. My gut feeling that he was lying to me about bigger things than the little bits and pieces that I confronted him about was correct and I feel like I've dodged a pretty big bullet.

But the dilemma about the gifts is still hanging on. I'm not going to reach out to him but if he messages again am I okay to ignore him or tell him to stick it? Or should I arrange to send them back to him? Or should I take advantage of the unsent message and properly block him so he can't reach out again?

OP posts:
WeatherOrNothing · 15/06/2026 17:34

I would just post it back. Why hang on to it? Maybe he wants to give them to his kids

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/06/2026 17:35

There’s no dilemma, he unsent the message. You were together for a very short space of time over a year ago and he gave you his old play station and a rip off necklace. Downloading and reading his book is a little odd in my opinion. Block and move on with your life

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