To develop feelings for someone else?

[Noodlees]

When my eldest was 1 i went back to work and found myself developing feelings for a co-worker. I'm now at the same point with my second child and found myself in a similar position again.

This isn't something that has generally happened to me so just wondering if it's related to having a baby and losing my identity?

Poll:
YABU - you're on your own here, didn't happen to me/anyone i know.
YANBU - same thing happened to me or someone else i know.

Not sure it's related to having a baby, but maybe to do with feeling unappreciated/unhappy in your relationship?

it’s not uncommon for people that work together to get close. Hence office affairs being so common. It might be your emotions are quite open as you have babies and are in ‘ love/ cuddle mode’, too. If your partner isnt meeting all your needs, there might be a little gap, where these kind of extra marital weeds can grow.

What do you mean ‘lose your identity’? I’ve always found that such a strange term.

The thing is my husband is an amazing dad/husband and couldn't do more for us and I'm genuinely really happy with him and wouldn't want to pursue these feelings because i wouldn't want to end what we have. Having said that though we've been together a long time and obviously with two small children we have less time to ourselves so i wonder if it's kind of the excitement of some attention from someone else.

Yes, probably. And being back at work and being seen as a person in your own right, rather than 'just a mum'! Maybe it's a wake up call to try and put a bit of excitement back into your marriage with a few date nights. Even if you can't go out, you can sit down for a nice meal together once the kids are in bed, have a glass of wine, romantic movie etc

It’s just a hankering for excitement because you’re in ‘safe, predictable life mode’ now. It’s normal. Enjoy the crush but don’t act on it. It’ll pass.