Camping in my car?

[User76443998]

To cut a long story short….

My child will be away for a week in the summer on a music camp. My child wants to go but often struggles being away from home and there is a 50/50 chance I will need to visit during the week or take my child out for a night “off” midweek (I would book a local hotel for a night if this happens).

There is also the possibility that they will be fine and not need me!

I would LOVE a break while they are at camp. A night or two away by the sea. The camp is in Devon and I love Cornwall.

I don’t want to book anywhere because a) money is as tight as tight can be and b) I might need to cancel for the reasons above.

I know Cornwall really well. Is it crazy to think I could go down for a few nights and camp in my car? Just parking on quiet residential roads? There is a local leisure centre in the town I would stay in that I can use for showers and I’d be swimming in the sea every day anyway. THIS IS JUST FOR ME, I ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT CAR CAMP WITH MY CHILD.

Is it safe? I’d curl up on the back seat with a window open a crack and be covered with a duvet…

AIBU? I’m sure I’ll get some interesting replies. Off to sleep now so hope for some wisdom in the morning!

The campsites I know wouldn’t allow sleeping in a car (I have checked) and are expensive in the summer anyway. And the problem remains that if I can’t make it down I’d lose the money…

I’ve only slept in my car once when there was an accident and the road was closed so I had no option! But it was surprisingly ok and not too uncomfortable!

Take the tent anyway. I think even in the height of summer, if you turn up at a basic site on spec with a tiny tent they may well squeeze you in, or at the very least know where else you can go.

Check camper van websites for ideas of safe stopovers. So many carparks don't allow overnight stops these days. It's good you have one but in a town there may well be a warden go round and/or CCTV.

My friend and I slept in her car for a couple of nights at a festival when we were younger. Wasn’t great but it was fine.

in the touristy parts of Cornwall they are really not happy with people just randomly camping on the streets though. I would pay to park overnight at a service station. It’s usually only £10.

People sleep in the car through necessity, it isn't going to be a pleasant seaside holiday. You'll feel rotten through lack of sleep and worry of being moved on from a residential street.

If you were happy to share the area you want to stay in, someone will find you a pitch/room at low cost.

I have curtains, a toilet and somewhere to cook in every car I have owned for over a decade, car camping is MASSIVE search for it on youtube and facebook we have dedicated groups to the subject.

I've slept in my car on occasion, when been on a huge job in the day and too far to drive home with little sleep, making it unsafe. I have slept on a normal street a couple of times and nobody ever knocked on the window or anything. If there's a service station nearby, I would recommend kipping there though will have to pay.
But yeah, it's fine! Least if swimming in the sea you can get away with no shower, ha.

You posted on mumsnet so you should expect a range of answers that may not agree with you. Either your child is able to go away without you or they should not. If school have not highlighted concerns then your child will be fine and safe. I’ve volunteered with school camps for the year 6s. The helicopter mums that wanted to visit/drop something unnecessary off, annoying for us and triggering for children, who suddenly wanted to go home with them! It’s silly. There’s a reason why other mums aren’t doing the same thing. Sleeping in your car just in case your child misses you?! Lots of kids miss their mums and get upset, their friends hug them, we distract them with games then they forget about you. They build resilience from the experience.

I’ve done it a couple of times. Once was cold campsite where other campers were too noisy and car was parked away from the noise. The car was freezing, much colder than a tent, so make sure you’ve an insulated layer to sleep on and warm layers & bed socks just in case.

The other time was in a city when I came off the ferry early hours. I found a quiet back street, reclined the passenger seat and slept. Had a lovely sleep except the sunlight woke me up too early. Dozed for a while then however the car started to get really warm. Solution would be blinds on the windows (a PP posted a link to insulated silver bubble wrap you could use to make temp blinds) and leaving a window or two cracked open. Overnight I’d definitely want blinds on the windows for privacy & security so passers by wouldn’t be able to easily see there was a woman sleeping in the car.

I’ve thought about getting a camper conversion kit for my suv to make the occasional overnight camp easy. I have tents and do regular camping but booking sites for odd nights in season can be difficult.

Go for it, just check signs with parking restrictions really carefully as you don’t want to get fined for staying somewhere where overnight parking is restricted.

You don't know anything about OP's child.

Ok, I’ll bite.

I’m not wanting to camp nearby in case my child misses me. Im wanting to have a night or two a few hours away from where my child is.

We don’t live in the SW so if I don’t go camping in Cornwall I’ll still be 3-4 hours away.

I am not a helicopter parent.

I’ve been dropping children at multiple camps since they were in year 6 and two of my children have never once had a wobble and I have never worried about them being away.

One of my children is built very differently and has never yet managed a camp (with school or with a different group) without needing some help and support.

The staff/leaders who will be with my child are brilliant and I absolutely trust them. However, sometimes children actually do just need their Mum, for their sake and for the sake of the leaders who are working their arses off.

No more unhelpful comments about how I must be a helicopter parent. I can guarantee that no one who knows me IRL would say that and actually, ACTUALLY, I’m doing my best encouraging my child to push himself a long way out of his comfort zone to try to cope while away. He knows I will be there if he needs me but he also knows it’s a last resort type measure because of distance and he will be doing his absolute best to manage it and have a good time.

Did exactly that in Cornwall last yr. No probs finding quiet safe places to stop. Only difference is it's a work 4x4 so pretty roomy inside & I have black curtains- just modified bed sheets really with a line sewn in & a sun screen for front.

We all do it when away for work in Europe anyway, we will take equipment out so sleep in laybys & services routinely. Did 3 nights last wk, Switzerland, Germany, Holland. It's just as comfy as the Lorries.

Earplugs & a sleep mask. Sleep like a log.

Edited to add, loos aren't difficult to find, but an incar emergency option is a must, showers, beaches or bottles of water & a quite spot. 2 litres gives an ok freshen up shower if not washing hair.

There is a pensioner on youtube meanqueensuperscrimper. She used to be a lorry driver and does car camping for her holidays, she lives in the north of england.
She parks overnight in service stations, in one of her uploads she said she paid about £8 to stay overnight.
I dont always agree with her politics but i like her sense of inderpendence and attitude to life as an older single wonan.

I have. Not for a week admittedly. I parked in 24 supermarket car parks. One even had security keep an eye on me! Slightly different circumstances though.

Another vote for youth hostels.
Or buy a secobd hand pop up tent and mattress, coolbox, gas ring. Bet you coukd find the lot for £100, then sell it when you get home and get your money back. Take your duvet, sheets & pillow, saucepan, cutlery. Find a cheap basic campsite inland.
Take noodles & other cheap food.

(As an aside, I'm getting f*cked off with the judgy self-righteous brigade on here.)

Brief update

The “camps teach resilience, don’t be a helicopter parent” posts (thankfully not many of them) touch a nerve. Sometimes people who don’t know me/my child well might have that impression of him/me. Those who know us properly know it’s nonsense (including his school, music school, scout leaders etc).
For various reasons however much he wants to go to camps and be “normal” and be part of it all, the reality is that he often feels dreadfully, dreadfully homesick and finds it hard to cope.

Camp leaders would always rather have a happy child who knows he can have a night off with him mum if he needs it than a child who is utterly miserable.

And as I’ve said, I have other children who have always coped brilliantly with camps and who I have never had to intervene at all. Bit of homesickness maybe, but nothing major and all part of building character and resilience.

I have not had any time alone in a holiday destination for 15 years. I am craving a day or two by the sea to swim, read and walk. There are many galleries I’d like to visit in the area I’m aiming for as well.

I can do all of the above with my children but it’s a different experience and at the beach I’m always watching them to make sure they are safe. Being able to swim and then lie back and read while I dry off is an unimaginable luxury!!

Without sounding like a martyr, 99% of my income goes on my children (maybe 98% 😂) and I happily pay for camps etc and whatever they need (and a lot of what they want, within reason). I come last and that’s ok and also, not ideal. But it is what it is for now. I’m a single parent. I don’t get breaks. I have my children 100% of the time. I also get minimal financial support from their father.

Thank you SO much for the people who have been encouraging and for the people who have asked/addressed some of the things I was worried about.

Im going to do my best to find a quiet but safe spot and if the worst comes to the worst I’ll park in the campsite car park and offer them cash in the morning before I leave (this is a campsite I know well and who I have stayed with before several times. I know they won’t be cross if this happens.)

Tbh I’d just also like a bit of an adventure, not to be tied to a booking and to be a bit more carefree. I’m very much a play it safe Mum who is careful and plans everything and not having any children with me for a couple of nights feels WILDLY exciting!

I don’t want to take a camping stove, I have a couple of favourite places to eat that are very relaxed and not expensive and I’ll go to the local deli to get bread, cheese, tomatoes etc for my lunch on the beach. Bliss.

I will report back in July to let you all know what happens! Hopefully I’ll find a safe and cosy spot to camp and all will be well.

I can promise that I will do everything I can not to upset or worry any passers by and am hoping to go completely unnoticed by anyone!

Someone did mention putting towels over the windows - we sometimes do that to let them dry and so that’s not a bad idea. As another person pointed out, there’s no point saving the coat of a campsite but then buying loads of car kit! We have excellent SIM mattresses thankfully so I bet I can make a cosy bed somehow.

Hi, it’s perfectly doable and a perfect solution to a couple of days of adult time e time by the sea.
Some tips:
Get the blinds
A clip top oval shaped jug is a brilliant pee jug for that first morning pee before you’ve sorted yourself out. You just kneel on the floor and shove it in place and pee. Put it a cotton bag for when you go into Tesco to use the facilities for an empty and rinse.
Parking: it’s a bit weird being all on your own on the outside of towns. Easy walking distance from a large supermarket is my favourite safe place. Wide residential streets are fine as are community centre car parks, and churches.
Waking up by the sea and that first swim is the best thing ever and don’t let anyone tell you different.
I did this for a year in a van and did my best writing and creative work. The solitude was amazing.
Make it a yearly thing, go for it.

Sorry I missed that they’ll be in Devon.

I still think you’d be surprised how busy both places get.

It’s been heaving for a couple months already and I think it’s because less people are going abroad this year.

But my biggest concern (apart from the toilet issue) would be the camp not being able to contact me.

I’d much rather be able to leave a phone number of a place I’m planning to return to every night, just in case I do lose my phone.

I assume you have a DP as you have other kids and so what happens if they need to get hold of you in an emergency.

What about finding a campsite near Saltash or Liskeard or somewhere close to Devon but still in Cornwall where you can spend your days exploring but having a base in case you do lose your phone.

Also I would leave the wild adventure to when all the DCs are at home and you don’t need to worry about them so much.
Book a few nights away by yourself.

FWIW one of my DC is ND and suffers from anxiety.

If they know that I can pick them up anytime, then they’d be fine.

If they think I’m hours away and stuck there, then they’d really panic.

And so I can absolutely see why you’re doing this.

And if you were that much of a helicopter parent, then you’d be demanding to stay at the same place or not even letting them go.

You are helping your child build their resilience and independence, which is great!

Honestly I don't think there's anything wrong with this at all if you're comfortable. You can lock your car from the inside and as you've said, just park near but not directly next to someone's house and they'll never notice. Might be worth running the costs though of eating out for a few days and using the leisure centre versus a glamping pod somewhere where you might be able to cook to save money. When I was about 5 or 6 we went to an event in a coastal town and it turned out there was a huge festival thing on and so all the hotels were booked ( mid-nineties) so I always remember me and my parents and two sisters sleeping in our regular saloon car for the night. I think it's one of my core memories as an adventure! It was the first time we ever went to McDonald's for breakfast 😅 (and never again but exciting as a child!). So even with kids I'm sure it would be fine! It's more about what you are comfortable with and would enjoy.

OP only you know your child and their needs, none of us are built the same and one child's walk in the park is another child's challenge. You do what's right for you and them (not that you asked 😂)

@User76443998 while it sounds nice in theory, I think the reality would be quite different. Being unable to stretch out, having light coming in at 4am, trying to find suitable places to park in the day time as well which don't incur fees (in Cornwall not easy). Having a pee in private.

Personally I think it's a false economy. Being in a car means paying for every meal out, even if it's just a sandwich, plus day time parking fees if you want to get to a beach etc.

Looking on pitch up there are a couple of places for £15 a night. Sandparks near Bude for example, which has availability in August. More in Devon.

I'd rather be able to sit by my little tent in an evening reading a book and if you had to get your daughter you could add her to the booking once at the site rather than pay for a hotel.

I'd maybe stay closer in Devon rather than go down to Cornwall, save on petrol and potential hotel fees as well. Devon is also beautiful but slightly less mental.

Wrong thread though car dressed as purple tent and named Jocasta would be grand

Enjoy your adventure OP.

Sounds like you know exactly what you're doing with respect to fostering your children's independence and resilience. They'll jump higher from a secure base.

It's almost as if children are individuals, and some need a bit more support than others...

But if you do go in the car, if you have an old insulated camping mat, they can be cut to window shape quite well.

I had a micro camper so I do get what you are trying to achieve but I think you may not find the reality as relaxing as your vision, especially in Cornwall!

Sounds fab! Go for it. I remember me and my friends in the 80s as broke students going clubbing in Brighton and getting horribly drunk. We used to kip in The Churchill carpark in my friend's ancient old Ford consul, all 3 of us. It was horrible but of course cheap, the car park attendant thought we were hilarious and even brought us tea and toast when we resurfaced in the late morning. Oh the resilience of youth. Have a great time and stay safe.