School friendship

[PetuniaTheDungBettle]

My son is nearing the end of primary. He's got a solid group of friends but it has been a rocky road with one who since year 2 has made his life miserable at times.

The rest of the group of friends (apart from my son) tolerates the boy that is unkind but they haven't had quite the same experience with him.

My son has asked if the group can come to our house after school one day, they have obviously been talking about it at school. Our house backs onto fields and parks and they use our house more like a base for food/drinks/toilet stop etc. I'm absolutely fine with this. The boy that is unkind got wind of it and asked if he could come too. My son said no, didn't give a reason.

I have always said he needs to try and stand up to him (he gets pinched by this child repeatedly as well as other low level bullying) and I feel that this child should not ever come into our house again. But now that he has said no, for some reason I feel like he's being excluded, which obviously he is, but got valid reasons, if he was kind it would be a different story. Am I right in thinking my child did the right thing?

You are, by the end of primary children can understand actions have consequences. I would not allow the child that had bullied mine into our safe space ar home. If asked I would say exactly why he wasn't invited.

Thanks for replying. You are right, perhaps the other child will understand being unkind doesn’t work when they get older. His mum is pretty unpleasant so I am also worried about her reaction, but as you say, if asked explain exactly the reasons why.

This child is not your child's friend and he doesn't have to invite someone who's unkind to him to his house. The child is learning that his actions have consequences, which is a good thing.

Thank you, that’s helped put it far more succinctly than I could. This boy is not my son’s friend. It’s helped you saying it. Thank you.