Discussing teachers on mums Whatsapp group

[Scrunchieorbobble]

Aibu to feel very uncomfortable about this?

On local mums group (very large group) one mum posts asking if anyone knows ‘Such and such’ teacher, a couple of mums reply saying yes, mum continues to ask if this teacher is good, what is she like etc as she’s just started at her sons school. Cue lots of different mums giving their opinions about this named teacher.

I felt like saying something, but didn’t

I’m an ex teacher, so perhaps i’m being too sensitive? But I really hate this free for all commenting and personal opinions on teachers and how good they are…or not

I work in a school, so my opinion may not be the same as others. You can't stop people talking about whatever they want to talk about. And you can't blame parents for wanting to know this information. As a mum who works in the school that my child is at, the school is very different to what they portray, and teachers are not perfect. You can't blame parents for wanting the best for their child.

Our local WhatsApp parents group frequently discusses / recommends local tradespeople, childminders, schools, vets, museums, activities, coffee shops etc. People are allowed to share their experiences and opinions within their communities, and teachers shouldn’t be immune from that any more than any of the other businesses/services people discuss (obviously with the proviso that nobody says anything untrue - however, people aren’t stupid, and if there’s someone with a vendetta who is intent on slagging off a teacher, it will generally be quite obvious to the rest of the group what’s going on!).

Teachers have a really important job, they have a huge effect on the happiness and attainment of children, so it’s not really that surprising that parents would have an opinion on their performance.

I really hate this free for all commenting and personal opinions on teachers and how good they are…or not

Have you never asked anyone what they think of your doctor/dentist/hairdresser/nail technician?

You’re being sensitive, people will ask what certain teachers are like if they haven’t directly experienced them before. It doesn’t sound the conversation was in appropriate which would be different, but then if it’s not affiliated with the school and just a group of people in a WhatsApp group then people sort of can say what they want at the same time.

Maybe, but answers tend to be quite impersonal, just generally that they do lovely cuts or colours etc, with the teacher ones, whole personalities seem to be dissected

They won't be impersonal if any one of those people is a dick or if any one of them happens to be super nice.

People will comment on others as you well know because this is no different to teachers discussing kids and parents in the staff room.

It's just a bigger group discussion that's all and it happens to be on an app.

Don’t see the issue with people sharing their experiences of teachers 🤷‍♀️

Exactly, it's something parents have been doing in the playground since the first school was built.

Before WhatsApp groups I can assure you parents gossiped about teachers in the playground at pick up! And having worked in a school, teachers also gossip about parents - and each other! It's human nature 🤷‍♀️

I think it’s natural to ask. I always find it strange that I just send my kid off to school on the first of September knowing absolutely nothing about the teacher who will be looking after them.

I think its OK, as long as they keep it as factual and balanced as possible 'Miss S was really kind to Charlie, but she is a bit disorganised' is fine. But I think 'I heard Miss S had an affair with her neighbour and I don't know how she can afford such a fancy car' is personal and irrelevant to exploring how good they are at their job

The only difference is that this is in writing/viewed by a larger audience , but this stuff has been going on for years between parents.

I once had someone come and see me for a consultation because someone in the park told her that I was “the person to see about problematic bums”. What a claim to fame.

The difference is that if you are commenting on a hairdresser, that is your direct experience-you are the client. Parents are not the service user, they are not in the classroom. They are basing their opinion on, at best, second hand information from an unreliable source.

I’m an ex teacher and hate it when comments on teachers come up on group WhatsApp chats. I think it’s ok to ask the question but I don’t understand why people don’t have the decency to reply privately, or at least make an effort to avoid language like lazy or useless…. What is eye opening to me is how it reveals that lots of parents have zero idea of the complexity of teaching and meeting the (sometimes conflicting) needs of many children. And also how dismissive some parents can be of the people who might not always get it right, but who are undoubtedly working super long hours in massively underfunded environments to do their best.

Just put I wonder what they'd think of you.

I moaned about my child's primary teacher once - a lady replied that her daughter loved her - this lady had 5 children so i realised it's unfair to judge just on your child - some children obviously will get on better with one teacher than another thanks to their temperaments

I think the issue can be that parents will repeat things they've heard from their dc, as if it's incontrovertible fact, rather than the perspective of a child who maybe hasn't reported the full story to their parent.
Obviously parents are entitled to recount their own experiences, but it's not quite the same as giving an opinion on your nail technician. How children fare at school is not solely down to the teacher and parents who criticise teachers online do sometimes forget that the child's/parent's own attitude to learning can have a huge impact, along with ALN, whether there is classroom or SLT support, workload etc.

This is an issue of great concern to all the teaching unions at the moment.
Whilst most comments made by parents will be fairly bland, such as he/ she is a bit strict, or he/ she sets a lot of homework, there will be some parents who have an axe to grind based on their own experiences or more worryingly, indirect evidence given to them by a single child which may be inaccurate, exaggerated or the product of an unjustified personal dislike .
Teachers cannot respond to these social media comments as they are heavily restricted by rules on Data Protection and Teaching Professional Standards.
It's not the same as passing opinion on a trader like a roofer or hairdresser. In that case a trader can respond to a negative review on Trustpilot or TripAdvisor by saying the person commenting was not a client or by giving a more balanced account of the situation.
Teachers cannot do this as it would result in disciplinary action.
The Group WhatsApp account holder should monitor the posts and delete any that cross the line making negative remarks on a teachers professional ability. That's a discussion for the parent and the Headteacher. The mental stress caused to teachers by not being able to respond to trial by social media with these posts is very damaging. I have known 2 good teachers leave the profession driven out by unfounded nasty opinionated parental gossip that would not stop.( In one case this was even after the Headteacher had spoken to the parents involved).
Interestingly, neither teacher was replaced by someone of equal experience or calibre. A school with a toxic reputation will not attract the best applicants when there is a teacher shortage. What a loss for the development of the pupils in that school!

It's not comparable to the plumber/hairdresser situation in my opinion -

"Does anyone know Ms Smith at AB Primary, she's about to start teaching my Lucy?"
"Yeah, we had her last year, she was amazing/crap/good with SEN/bad with SEN/was caught blowing Davey's dad in the car park last November."

And then what, exactly? You don't know the person giving the feedback to trust them, your kid isn't their kid with that kid's particular experiences/strengths/challenges, and it's highly unlikely you'll move schools based on some randomer's feedback. It just seems like gossip-mongering.

My friend is a head and it’s become a massive issue at their school with whole school communications being sent out and a few of the mums have been pulled in and spoken to about it as their comments on WhatsApp have just been outright bullying towards teaching staff. Ironic as they’re the first of the parents to run in and complain when it’s their little cherubs being wronged. They said a few of them were in tears when presented with print outs of comments they had messaged in the groups and funnily enough none of them had expressed any concerns via the right channels or process.

You can’t compare a teacher to a hairdresser/plumber/cleaner as you aren’t an end user client - you either like the school/teaching style or you don’t.

There should be some kind of unwritten rule like
No name calling/bad language
No typing things we wouldn't be happy for Teacher to read about about herself.
No kind of personal verbal attack etc
Keep it sensible.

I would never ever join/start one of these group chats, practically every one I've joined in the past has descended into the birth of a Queen Bee, an impromptu voice for the disenfranchised of the school gates then arguments and inside jokes emerge

I trust the advice promulgated on our Schhol Website.
Only 7 years more school to deal with for myself and youngest. I have a 16 year old and a 26 year old and my DD aged 7 is obviously still there, I think I've got this.....

How awful the teachers were in tears! I seem to remember someone being nasty on a former group WhatsApp chat about our (hockey teacher) for daring to be a lesbian!
Teacher was very upset indeed and felt ashamed.
Not on

Not the teachers! The parents who had been caught out bitching!!

Parents need to keep in mind that while a teacher can't respond on SM, they can still choose to take legal action for libel, if they've said something particularly awful.

Or the school can ban a parent from the premises - can you imagine not being allowed to attend your own child's nativity or sports day because you can't behave yourself online?