To think some men weaponise incompetence because it keeps expectations low?

[StrategicHelplessness]

They’re not confused. They’re convenient.

Well, this ain’t rocket science is it.

Totally. No blame attached to stupid decisions if you don’t make any.

Do you think women don't do it too?

I do. Only in a couple of areas and it leaves our relationship balanced.

You get what you settle for, demand competence in both your personal and professional life.

That’s why it’s called “weaponised incompetence” rather than “incompetence”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have no idea what you’re saying by this post OP. Genuinely, what do you mean by ‘weaponise incompetence’?

That's why you have to set your bar high in the first place.

Weaponised incompetence is when someone pretends to be so incapable of doing a chore well that someone else gets fed up and takes over doing it.

I agree @StrategicHelplessness

I think it depends. I'm a woman who (according to DH at least) is shit at housework and it's not weaponised in my case I just genuinely care less than DH about the hoovering. Is recommend finding a life partner with higher domestic standards than you if possible. I'm not even allowed to load the dishwasher as he has a special system.

Thank you!

Do you know how many women believe that men just “don’t see mess” or

“can’t change nappies properly”

or “can’t cope with the children alone”

or “can’t remember the children’s extracurricular schedule”

etc etc etc

If you deliberately do a thing so badly (or not at all) so that the other person takes on far more than their share of the load while you have lots of free time you are weaponising your incompetence.

Oh - I have that! DH used to come home and ask how long the dishwasher, I had loaded, had been on for. 10 mins or less and he would open it and rearrange it. It's true that he could fit about 30% more into it and nothing fills up with dirty water on his watch. So I just let him crack on with it. If he goes away, I will do it, but that's the only time.

That's... literally why it's called like that?

No shit.

I used to iron DH shirts badly (multiple crease lines down the sleeve) and he eventually stopped asking me.
I’m also a terrible cook…

That's literally the definition of weaponised incompetence.

Eh? Of course. That’s what weaponised incompetence is. Your title basically says “weaponised incompetence is weaponised incompetence.”

Of course they do. As do some women.

I freely admit that I sometimes act much more as if I'm a 'silly little woman who doesn't know anything about men's things' to get help in shops etc. sometimes. Never at home or with people I know though.

I'm actually quite intelligent and quite capable of googling things and carrying out instructions, but sometimes I'm lazy and it is easier to bat my eyelashes (not that I have many) and get a man to do things for me.