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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bonus payment for referring a friend for a job - would you share it?!

32 replies

CaseClosedWineOpened · Yesterday 23:25

A few months ago, a colleague in another team mentioned that they were recruiting for a role. I said I might know someone suitable.

I spoke to a friend and she was really keen so I forwarded her CV. Fast-forward and she got the job with a decent pay bump over her previous salary. Really pleased for her!

It turns out I am going to get a referral bonus of £2000. I wasn’t aware of this when I referred her because I’ve only been there a short time myself.

So, my question is - if you were my friend, how would you feel about my windfall? TBH I am planning to keep it, but thinking maybe I’ll take her out for a little celebration, my treat? 🥂

Would love to hear perspectives.

YABU - share it you selfish cow
YANBU - it’s all yours!

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 23:27

I wouldn’t share it, treat her if you want to celebrate her new job but there’s no need to share it

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · Yesterday 23:27

And then she can treat you with her pay bump. I would mention to her just in case it comes out and it’s unnecessarily awkward.

SqueakyFromme · Yesterday 23:28

I’m sure they are happy to get a good position, and definitely take them out for a really good meal, (and drinks !) it’s very kind of you.

beasmithwentworth · Yesterday 23:29

Yes keep it and treat her. No need to share!

ofcolitas · Yesterday 23:36

The ususal thing is to take them out for lunch, no need to share the bonus.

7238SM · Yesterday 23:39

If you were already working there and had no clue of their referral scheme- how would your friend know?

Yes, take her out if you want and pay as a nice treat/congrats thing. She has already benefitted by your referral by getting the job and pay increase and in time, IF she refers someone, maybe she can get the referral fee too.

IF I was asked in the future then I'd say that yes, I did get a referral fee but as you said OP, you apparently had no idea there even was one and it wasn't your motivation for referral.

Original poster
CaseClosedWineOpened · Yesterday 23:40

Appreciate the feedback so far, thank you. I think I’m worried that she’ll feel resentful that I’m getting this bonus because of her and then keeping it all to myself 😬

OP posts:
5foot5 · Yesterday 23:43

I was in this position once and I certainly didn't share it!

thinkfast · Yesterday 23:44

Referral fees of this type are really common place OP. The typical way to deal with it is to take the friend out for lunch.

Original poster
CaseClosedWineOpened · Yesterday 23:45

7238SM · Yesterday 23:39

If you were already working there and had no clue of their referral scheme- how would your friend know?

Yes, take her out if you want and pay as a nice treat/congrats thing. She has already benefitted by your referral by getting the job and pay increase and in time, IF she refers someone, maybe she can get the referral fee too.

IF I was asked in the future then I'd say that yes, I did get a referral fee but as you said OP, you apparently had no idea there even was one and it wasn't your motivation for referral.

I really should have been aware - it turns out there’s a clear referral scheme policy and it just didn’t occur to me to look until the hiring colleague thanked me for the referral and mentioned the bonus! 😆

OP posts:
Crrt · Yesterday 23:45

She’s gotten a wage bump and a new job. You’re getting this as you’ve saved the company money on the recruitment process. You’ve both won out of it and it’s totally normal to keep it, it would be weird to share it.

Mamma272273 · Yesterday 23:45

I wouldn’t feel resentful if I had a new job and pay bump! There’s no moral obligation to share it - enjoy it! If anything if I was the friend I would be taking you out to lunch to thank you for the initial referral.

ErrolTheDragon · Today 00:01

Crrt · Yesterday 23:45

She’s gotten a wage bump and a new job. You’re getting this as you’ve saved the company money on the recruitment process. You’ve both won out of it and it’s totally normal to keep it, it would be weird to share it.

You wouldn’t have got it if your friend hadn’t been right for the job, but these bonuses exist because they save on recruitment costs - you’ve done ‘work’ of that value for your company even if it was easy for you!

Blogswife · Today 00:06

If it wasn’t for you she wouldn’t have got the job - it’s all yours !

7238SM · Today 00:07

I already posted up thread, but do you need to pay tax from the referral, or is it not tax deductible?

I ask because I recently won an award at work and had to pay tax on the amount! Not a referral fee though. I suppose akin to winning best in breed at crufts but due to my own work and supporting the team etc. TBH I was a bit miffed when tax was taken out because it wasn't much to start with😟

99bottlesofkombucha · Today 00:09

She got a job out of it, that’s the win for the person getting the job!

VivienneDelacroix · Today 00:12

If my friend referred me for a job, I got it, and it was a pay increase - I'd be really happy to hear that they got a bonus for it!

ElvirRamcic · Today 00:13

I wouldn’t share it, but I would take us both out for a meal somewhere fancy, on me.

DoNotSitDownNextToMe · Today 00:13

In my company, the person applying for the job (online) has to state the person who referred them. When somebody did it with me (as the new employee), they didn’t even buy me a £1.99 bottle of wine. For a £2k bonus, I thought it was cheap. So yes, either take them out to celebrate or buy a bottle of champagne.

Floppyearedlab · Today 00:15

CaseClosedWineOpened · Yesterday 23:40

Appreciate the feedback so far, thank you. I think I’m worried that she’ll feel resentful that I’m getting this bonus because of her and then keeping it all to myself 😬

Does she even need to know?
This is your perk. Who knows, she may get to do the same for someone else one day?

It’s a bit like when I referred a friend to my gym and he ended up joining. I got a month’s free and 5 guest passes as a thank you. I didn’t offer to pay half of his first month with it.

DamonFoxPackingUpNorthernSoul · Today 00:22

I remember one apprentice was referred and the person that got the 2G had to pay it back because the kid was a monumental fuck up.
Dunted before three months probation.

Isitholidayyet · Today 00:27

CaseClosedWineOpened · Yesterday 23:40

Appreciate the feedback so far, thank you. I think I’m worried that she’ll feel resentful that I’m getting this bonus because of her and then keeping it all to myself 😬

i presume she now has a better/higher paying job thanks to you op. It would be awful of her to hold the bonus against you when you helped her out. You could always have not referred her and not received the bonus - she just also won’t have got the new job

RonniePickering · Today 00:28

I wouldn’t expect a penny if I was your friend, it wouldn’t occur to me to be offended.

GreatOffWhiteFalcon · Today 00:41

There is no reason whatever to share the bonus.

Loloblue · Today 00:44

A friend got a bonus for referring me. I would never expect anything in that situation. But she did take me out for a nice lunch bc that's how we roll.